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Lone parents

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Original poster

The ' online dating is crap - but its also a bit boring being single' thead

34 replies

singlegirlchallenge · 29/09/2010 11:02

Online dating is crap. Today i have deleted my profile off all sites i was registered on.
After online dating for 18 months i am still without anyone even vaguley interesting.

Instead im going to just see what happens. I do not happen to meet many men in my day to day life ( read, i dont meet any)

But im attempting to going back to basics, trying to go to the pub for a drink, or talking to people in the park.

Anyone want to join me and a real life attempt to meet men? ( or knows where any nice ones are hiding?)

Have also posted in relationships....

OP posts:
mummyilubyou · 29/09/2010 11:16

singlegirl - if you pick up the 'Fit and Interesting' threads (we are on 25 now Shock), you will find lots of us - RL and online dating, plus all the rich variety of life as single mums Grin

gillybean2 · 29/09/2010 13:19

MILY - That thread is so hard to get into though. I tried looking at it once. No way I'm going to look at it from the start.

And why is it always pointed to whenver anyone tries to start a thread on dating? Let the OP have her on thread if she wants it.

OP - Totally agree about online dating. Think I will join you and go through and delete all the sites I joined in a half-assed attempt to find someone. Really no idea how else to find a decent guy though.

Did you see that program about Chery does dating (or whatever it was called) on BBC2 the other night? Didn't really give me much hope if those that are doing their utmost to find a date aren't managing even!

dustycups · 29/09/2010 13:27

ooo can i join you!! although im looking for a woman not a man!

gilly- i watched that programme cant believe that silly woman did all that valenitines stuff, that man was well freaked out!

gillybean2 · 29/09/2010 13:46

yes I did dustycups - and hardly surprising too that he ran! I'd have been freaked if it was the other way round, let alone having a man faced with that!

And as for that gold digging model - well at least she's honest about what she wants (ie money). But what rich man in his right mind is going to marry her and then wait for her to walk away with half (or more) of his fortune a couple of years later. I think she needs to aim a lot older if she wants a rich husband!

It is a minefield, one I'm not too keen to step onto again to be honest. Though I did emphathise with the lady who said she missed the love and companinship of a relationship. We all need someone to hold us from time to time. Plus sex occasionally (or more) would be nice too! Grin

Original poster
singlegirlchallenge · 29/09/2010 14:03

milly- ive tried getting on that thread a few times, but its really hard, everyone knows everyone and posts updates and responds to each other posts ( beacuse they know the whole story)
plus its really fast paced and i just dont have the time to keep up with it.

i didnt see that prog, but i did see the dawn porter one a few months ago.

I think im just exhasberated with the whole dating thing.
I went through a stage of just dating anyone who asked.it was time consuming and boring and a waste of time.
So then i was only going to go on a date with someone i really liked. 6 months down the line... not one person. Not one!!!

I dont tend to come across men in my day to day life, only if i go out. As well you all know, nights out can be few and far between and either im just going to the wrong places, but there is never anyone i like, or any interest shown in me. I dont think ive been actually chatted up in real life since before i was married... which was 12 years ago now.

OP posts:
Original poster
singlegirlchallenge · 29/09/2010 14:04

gilly - what sites were you on?

has anyone found a difference between paid sites and free ones?

i was on a paid site for 3 months once, and didnt even get one date. Not even asked for one.

OP posts:
mummyilubyou · 29/09/2010 14:39

Hi. Sorry, can see the thread being a bit hard to crack - I think the first one was started some years ago! I broke in a few weeks ago and enjoy the characters on there, which is why I have to suggested to a couple of OPs on other new threads to 'come on in, the water is lovely' Smile but IDSWYM. It is possible I spend too much time on MN catching up on threads Hmm

Anyway, good luck with the hunt for RL dates. May I stay on the thread and pick up some tips?

dustycups · 29/09/2010 16:02

i find the online dating thing scary, i find people that look nice and then i never no what to say, so just leave it!

xdp has found love on his 3rd date on plenty of fish!!!

right where can i go hunting for rl dates!

kdk · 29/09/2010 18:59

Hi Singlegirl - I don't find much of a difference between paid and free sites to be honest. I find atm they're alll oing my head in - and like you I've yet to get even a date let alone anything else!

Last time I went on a date was over 6 months ago and while the bloke was nice enough there just wasn't a spark.

Most of the messages I get are from would-bet toyboys/OAPs or guys who are too stupid to be able to spell/cut and paste properly (ie they write a message to a woman and then don't even bother or are too idiotic to change the name - or just get horrible ice-breaker type messages.

Lately I've also had a spate of (I assume) Nigerian scammers pretending to be US servicemen!

Maybe we should all get together and go hunting!!!

talie101 · 29/09/2010 19:12

Dating sites are a total waste of space - liars, cheats etc. Been on and off them for a good few years and they seem to be getting worse, although they do seem to work for some!

You're not the only one SGC who doesn't come across anyone they fancy or get approached by men in RL (apart from drunken or cocky idiots!) It's so hard to meet just a nice genuine person nowadays, who's actually not looking for a blonde, young, waif like model with 'no baggage' - makes me feel sorry for the testosterone led having a crisis males that tend to be everywhere you go!

I'm actually tempted to turn the other way hehe - I have several lovely girlfriends who'd go out with me! Smile or I may even try a toyboy Wink - does that put me in the hormonal having a crisis female bracket though? Grin

lou33 · 29/09/2010 19:20

You should all come join us on the fit and interesting thread in lone parents :)
I think we are on number 25 now!

dustycups · 29/09/2010 20:15

talie- its not easier on the other side, women r right bitches!!!

Niceguy2 · 29/09/2010 20:52

Personally it always makes me laugh when women complain that out of the 1000's of men on a dating site that they still can't find a decent man.

From experience usually its because of one or more of the following reasons:

a) Your sights are set too high
b) Your too paranoid and wont take a risk to meet someone
c) Your batting above your league
d) taking it way too seriously

Let the stoning commence.....Wink

OuchPassVodka · 29/09/2010 21:03

My top tip is to fine somethig you love doing and throw yourself into. Have fun with life and you will collect the admirers. It was how i accidentally ended up setting up a date recently. Lovely guy but not enought life experience too young and tbh i wasnt looking. I am still in that tricky place of needing to sort me out but fed up of doing it on my own. Just make sure its the right hobby else you will be collecting guys who are of interesting character.

elastamum · 29/09/2010 22:15

Ohh Niceguy, you do like to live dangerously Grin

I have had loads of fun on line dating so far. I treat it like a virtual bar and dont pretend I know someone I havent met, or have met once or twice.

My philosophy is be nice, talk to anyone who looks intersting, if you like the sound of them and have something to say to each other get out and meet them. And make it fun, its not a job interview. Have had lots of nice dates, a few have gone on longer. Not met the man of my dreams yet, but its better than sitting at home!

QueenofWhatever · 29/09/2010 22:27

Niceguy, what's the difference between a) and c)?

b) is partly because the logistics are so difficult. If you have to go to the hassle and expense, you want to be reasonably confident you'll have an OK time.

d)? I don't know about that one. Some might say that too many are in it just for a random shag. And that's just the women, ho ho ho.

legostuckinmyhoover · 29/09/2010 22:54

singlegirlchallenge... i have lost count of the number times i have been through the agony of filling out those online dating forms and then deleting myself a few weeks later! in fact i consider myself rather 'expert' in the field of being on and off!

would love to know how to meet someone in another way but the logistics for me are impossible unless i meet mr. dreamy by some miracle in the co-op or tescos after work.

niceguy, your list is funny. i thought that was the list for men! although i think i may be batting too high [agreed] but am unprepared to go lower so maybe my fault. i will never settle for second best!

Niceguy2 · 29/09/2010 23:18

Elastamum...you know me. I speak the truth! Grin Sometimes the truth hurts!

Queen... a) & c) I guess are essentially the same. I meant for one that sometimes women are too quick to right off a man's profile because erm...he's wearing a blue top and she doesn't like blue. And the other is where she rejects a man for being say overweight without perhaps thinking "actually I'm a bit lardy too!". For d) I just think ppl are too serious sometimes and quit online dating because they haven't met Mr Right. Would you quit all pubs/clubs because you'd been to a couple and Mr Right wasn't there?

And lego, I know I'm using women/men references here but the same can equally apply for men too. Only we're way more shallow so chances are we only look at the photo and usually don't bother reading the blurb. And indeed men are far worse for overestimating our position in the league.

jamestkirk · 29/09/2010 23:19

must admit i joined one once tho can't remember which - the first reply was titled something like - are you the 'one'? i deleted my profile without reading it :o

OuchPassVodka · 29/09/2010 23:29

Grin Niceguy - well i guess it is nice to know the truth
"we're way more shallow so chances are we only look at the photo and usually don't bother reading the blurb."

jameskirk - are you sure that wasnt some sort of promotional thing? If not Shock scarey hairy potatoes

OuchPassVodka · 29/09/2010 23:30

Blush damm it knew that would bite in the ass. I blame ds for the potatoes. Its phrase of the week around here Hmm

mummyilubyou · 29/09/2010 23:38

Ouch, rofl at potatoes, am going to use that one Grin

elasta she is wise and right Wink

Is possible I am feeling particularly chipper about the whole thing as have just bagged me a date with a properly nice looking/sounding blokey

allgonebellyup · 30/09/2010 13:31

i am dating a lovely bloke i met online (well, its only been a couple of weeks.)
Check out my "yay- very excited" thread in relationships!

And last year i was seeing a lovely bloke for around 9 months but in the end it couldnt work as he lived too far away - and he wanted kids but i didnt.

There are some nice normal men out there!

shimmerysilverglitter · 30/09/2010 18:33

Hi can I join? The only thing is that I honestly believe it is all over for me, I am 39 have 2 dc, one SN. I don't particularly want to be in a serious relationship but the thought of never being with a man again makes me feel a bit empty and sad.

I am too scared to do the on line dating thing. I don't really have any child care for going out on the dates and it all just feels rather too tiring.

I would love to meet a busy man (or two) who can meet up once a week or fortnight or so for a drink or meal and a nice time, but doesn't want anything more, sadly I don't think such a man exists. I saw someone who I knew from years ago and got back in touch with on FB and he ended up being a total knob so it sort of put me off really.

Blimey, its now how I thought I would end up thats for sure.

shimmerysilverglitter · 30/09/2010 18:33

not not now

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