Help please! Feeling lost in suburbs, unsure whether to move to London with 5 & 3 year olds

[Elizabeth0712]

Hi everyone, this is my 1st time posting here & I’m hoping for some guidance, advice. I’m feeling lost at the moment as to what to do.

I grew up in a suburban outskirt of London, the home counties, then moved to London (zone 1) in my 20s, lived there for 10 years & then did the sensible thing & returned to the suburbs (zone 7) when DD was 6 months old with DH.

We have a grear house which we’ve invested lots in (new kitchen extension, bathroom,etc) we've got a great garden, the house is everything we could want. DD is now 5 & goes to a really sweet local school in walking distance which she walks to with me & the neighbours kids & their parents most days, we now have another DD 3 who goes to a loving local nursery. We have family all close by BUT… every single day for the last 5 years since moving all I’ve thought about is how I want to go back to London.

I just cannot get on with the suburbs & feel like an alien here. I have friends & family all close by, friends are old friends from school, have my sisters & parents within 10 min drive all who I’m close with. But I just can’t shake it. Most weekends I feel so down & depressed living in this area apart from if we get the train into London (approx 1 hour). Can’t drag kids there every weekend. Weekdays aren't so depressing because I’m usually busy.

A big part of me is saying move back into London but feel so guilty up-routing the kids, also schools, family friendly areas, I’d struggle to know where to start. It’s just this constant niggle at me & this horrible feeling like I made the biggest mistake leaving London in the first place. I totally understand this is first world problems & we’re lucky to have a roof over our heads & two healthy children.

I’m just wondering what other people would do, I’m thinking also if we did take the plunge & move it would have to be 100% right because we couldn’t do it to the kids again. DH has said he is happy to move if everything feels right/makes sense…

I just feel so lost! I am a city girl at heart & want my kids to benefit from the city too. I know being on the outskirts sounds close but for anyone living in the home counties you know its totally different, the mentality, everything!

I’ve been following some old threads of people with kids & pre teens in London and mixed reviews but mostly seem quite positive. (Although maybe I’m just picking out the bits I like!).

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

This is my experience. I grew up in NW London. Absolutely hated growing up the suburbs would never ever return but then lived in zone one for a decade for uni and until we bought out first house in our late 20s.

This house (still here) tho was in a tiny semi rural village with its own train station into central London (18 mins for fast train - but v expensive fares). I have loved this experience for my DCs. It’s semi rural with local nursery and primary and excellent secondaries. Most of my neighbours have moved out from London and the kids have had the run of the place. Loads of after school / sports etc and very strong committed stable family community involvement. We always do loads of London cultural stuff.

However my youngest has just gone to uni, the others all live out so we are selling up the 6 bed family home and buying a 2 bed lock up and leave flat in Pimlico. We will work for a few more years but can’t wait to get back to daily cultural life. We are in loads now anyway but counted up that we were in 9 days out of 14 just before Xmas so just want to dump the cars and the cultural commute.

I don’t regret it and we have 5 DCs which I couldn’t afford to house in central London (and I don’t do suburbs) - they’ve had the best of both worlds I think.