December locals chat

[mellow2]

New thread as the other one is not going to last long.

Haven't been on Friends reunited for years but I got a message today from a bloke, but I have no idea who he is! Must've gone to uni with him as he said we had the same lectures He also said that I probably wouldn't remember him, he got that right!

Shall I reply???

Just a quick skim as am so busy at work plus ds decided we needed a lie in and turned off the alarm yesterday so we overslept on the first day back at school with no AuPair. He's only 16 months for goodness sake.

I did Controlled Crying with dd1, cuddle to sleep with dd2 and with ds invented my own one - radio on softly (Heart KC!!) and never went in to him when he cried - only when he was happy. He will now wake up, play round and then call for me or Dadda. He only cries if he's done a poo.

Foxie - have you tried putting ds in his own bed yet?

certianly could Kew, he tells me that there is no upper age limit on UK adoptions now tho apparently.

they were 3yrs into an inter-country adoption then went back into UK but still took another 3 years. 10yrs total incl. fertility treatment!

3yrs at either UK or non-UK sounds about right. There isn't a legal prohibition on anyone adopting (except someone with child offences) no age, sex, marriage, football tam restrictions however you have to convince a placing social worker that you are the best parent available for that child. Some of them are more flexible than others eg acquainitances of mine up in Shropshire were placed with a baby of Singaporean birth mum on the basis that they were approved for a child from Kwazakhstan and had therefore done the racism/multicultural training. Can;t see that happening in London though.

Older parents are ususally placed with older children.

was spelling out words in the bath last night with DS's foam letters which stick to the bath. Had two k's so managed to spell Kazakh - said to DS - "thats you that is - Kazakh"

"Ka-ka"... not saying much but he's having a pretty good stab at the important words!

well I choose the wettest windiest part of the day to take dd to the playground so I ended up at C&C me wet dd hitching to run.

KC&Foxie - might drop respective books through your letterboxes tomorrow if I remember to take them when I leave the house for nursery visit. It is at 9.30 do dh can go.

think dh is faltering on all that 2nd child business now that 'school' looms for dd
I knew this would happen, must think of a rational way of approaching 'that' chat.

kids are great and the things they come up with are priceless, it is great to watch them grow

that would be kind SFX

Oh yes SJ, you must contact Mr Mystery Guy and then tell us all what happens!! I bet he's sectetly fancied you all this time and couldn't believe his luck when he spotted you on FU

SFX - Thanks - if you get a chance please do, if not no worries.

MrsR - no he's still co-sleeping. Do you think it would help if he was in his cot, even if its in the same room? I couldn't bear to put him alone - he's only 10 months.

...have you guessed he is spoilt rotten?

QC - glad to see you are keeping DS in touch with his cultural heritage

DS1 and DD really enjoyed their swimming, it was DD's first ever lesson and I have an irrational fear of her drowining (due to recurring dreams where she drowns which I've had since she was a baby - she's had two related accidents). DD was crying at school today 'cos she missed her friend who has gone to the new school, so hopefully the "new experience" of the swimming lessons will take her sweet little mind off her loss.

lol @ FU!

kew, my colleague and his wife were told there was a huge wait list for UK and by the time there "turn" would come they would have exceeded the age limit. must have been some time ago. however, at one of their interviews they were asked why they went inter-country and when they explained they were told that was wrong and if they went back to UK they would get a child in 6 weeks.

that too turned out to be wrong and it was another 2 years or something ridiculous!

will tell you more next time i see you as don't want to go into great detail here.

social workers do have a bot of a rep for luring intercountry adopters back form thedark side by promising babies very quickly. Only once has that happened in my experience and then because teh placing social worker was prepared to take a UK couple to parent the baby of a different race. Would (as I said) be unheard of in London)

exactly the same approach has failed miserably to work this evening. Perhaps becasue I put DS down marginally more awake then yesterday but I ask you it surely cant be reasonable to expect to cuddle a two year old for more than 30 mins AFTER 30 mins of stories - can it!?

evening all

lol @ fu! Sj, tbh, I'd ignore him, I've had people claiming I'm their friends on FB & I've got no idea who they are. I reckon they're just trying to up their friends numbers!

Have had a bit chat with dh tonight & have decided that, financially-wise, we need me to go back to work . So am starting to job hunt now, problem is I'm a bit picky. It needs to be part-time so I can still do my course, it needs to be local as can't be arsed with commute into London! And it needs to be something I'd like doing - so what do you think my chances are

Oh sorry SJ, also meant to say I'm free tom & thurs pm & all day Weds if any of those suit

kew, is he getting too stimulated? i went thru a phase with dd when i realised stories and bedtime music were just jazzing her up.

generally she goes from bath to bed immediately now.

last night she was out very early but had no nap during the day.

today she went straight into bed from her bath and was off by 7:30pm.

she's talking a great deal more about "timings" thru the day now. beginning to vocalise the difference between daytime naps and bedtime etc. maybe ds is doing the same in himself but he's not able to vocalise it so much?

i'm waffling but guess i'm trying to say if you talk to him about what the score is he may take it on board and it may help settle him?

dd responds pretty well to things like "you've got xyz happening tomorrow so you need to go to sleep now" etc. i don't think she really gets the concept 100% but the words etc seem to register.

lol Paddle - he spends his life too stimulated! Can't put him to bed afetr bath as it livens him up! To be fair he has gone tosleep now with me only going in the once but 9pm FGS. 9PM!

Switched to Radio 2 to tbh I think Heart or Magic would be more soporific...

Reading this I realise how lucky I am, ds is usually out like a light at 7pm after bath, story & bottle!

Can anyone offer advice on CVs? I'm updating mine at the minute and am wondering whether I should or shouldn't include a personal statement? If I do put one it, should it cover what I like to do? I've not had to do a CV in so long, I've no clue as to what's expected any more

Well I just had to growl my older two to get them to go to sleep. When they get to a certain age, threatened withdrawal of privilages generally works

Ros - what do you want to do then, workwise?

tbh foxie, I'm planning on applying for anything. Conditions are that the salary must more than pay for childcare & it needs to be local. I've just seen a job on a website but having problems trying to get my CV working!!

Ros - generally the rule of thumb is to only include personal stuff if it strengthens the CV by showing how smart you are, e.g. voluntary work, being bi-lingual etc. If it demonstrates a transferable skill which will make you look a good candidate, then do include it.

I have included stuff like: Chairing committees, editing magazines, PTA activity, voluntary youth work, charity work - stuff which demonstrates work skills. I would never include "book club" or "swimming" etc as although it shows you are a rounded person, they are more interested in transferable skills relevant to the job.

I would have thought that some of the NCT stuff would be of interest perhaps, if you word it in such a way as its relevant?

Ros - Thurs pm would be good, what do you fancy doing?
The guy was on FU not FB and it is someone who knows me from what he emailed, I just cannot place him, LOL. Chatted to my mate and we may have narrowed the options of who he is...will drop him a line and say hi

There are a few sites offering CV guidance if you google. Good luck with job search

DS also to bed after bath as he too is stimulated by books. For past wk I think he has become scared of the dark and I have to stay in his rm til he falls asleep, but he usually does this quite quickly unlike your DS QC. I'm sure phase will pass but quite annoying atm.

SFX - hope nursery visit goes well

Foxie - glad swim went well despite DD missing her friend, aww

foxie - that first friend going away is hard I remember when my nieces best friend in primary school went back to Iran they were distraught and really grieved despite the internet.

regarding bedtime routines, ours has changed and evolved overtime, although it has always been around bath, story bed. with bf when I did it. she always wants more stories but I only read one or two depending on how tired she is, and by then she will be lying in bed anyway.
what paddle says works for me too, we do a narrative of the day sometime before bed then sort of loosely plan following day.

I thought I might take dd to tumble tots next wednesday and maybe swimming on thusrday.

SJ do keep us posted

ros hope you find a suitable job, I have been thinking about that a lot lately.

Thanks for the tips foxie. I have included some of the hobbie type stuff in an attempt to show how organised I am . Tbh, I think I could spend forever working on it so I've sent it off for the job I saw and hopefully I'll get some feedback and can adjust it as necessary.

Sj, hadn't any thoughts apart from maybe see how the weather is and decide on the day?

Thanks SFX - we rang the friend this evening and she is coming to play in a couple of weeks. DD was in tears at school today apparently.

Ros - good luck. Hope you included some NCT stuff. Voluntary work is always impressive (shows motivation and that you're not lazy LOL)

well, dd was awake by 5:30am yelling her head off.

she's not upset or crying she just yells for me to come and get her. tried to tell her it was the middle of the night and to go back to sleep but she wasn't having a bar of it.

how on earth do i get her to stop this god awful yelling for me!

she (and me) will be so tired now today.

not a happy paddle!

morning chaps..
albeit a bleary-eyed one for most!

kew, not sure if this will make you feel better or worse, but re the 30 minutes to cuddle a 2-year-old to sleep..when ds2 was around 3-4, after always sleeping OK, wopld only go to sleep with em lying beside him whiuch took up to an hour. i'd either lie tghere seething i was missing out on 'my" time or, more often, just fall asleep myself! eventually sorted itself - no doubt after i got my act together.

when's your mum's window getting fixed, btw? what a pain for her.

foxie, poor dd. ds1 still sighs about his friend (ex CM's son) who left in the summer and ds2's friend has left now, too. but he's been for a few visits so hopefully that'll cheer your dd up. yes, have also got a copy of the no-cry sleep solution. shout if needed.

re the mini-beast. i went through muc h the same with dd and the only thing that worked was - be brave - moving her into ger own room. even being in a cot in the same room had her sniffing me out. once in her own room - dh got up to her during the night - and things settled down pretty quickly. it is such a wrench, though, isn't it?

paddle - shame you couldn't join us for cawfee at the tate modern (dahling). it's fab , isn't it? and i love the cafe.

well, the boys, especially ds1, were really into it and dd lasted for a while before going into meltdown. at one point she was just lying like a starfish on the floor wailing;'goo hoooooome now" as people gingerly stepped around her.

reckon i could have passed her off as anart installation: "A study in the tyranny of toddlerhood" perhaps...

so, foxie, yes i do try and get out en famille, but not sure it works that well most of the time, tbh!
suffice to say i've promised to take ds1 back by himself soon!

ros - good luck with the job-hunting. excellent advice from foxie. would say try to keep it to one page if possible, 2 at the most. And big yourself up - as most people are too modest about themselves. imagining that you're writing about a friend usually helps.
pretty tied up for a few weeks, but happy to give your CV a tweak if you want

phew, that was all a bit loooooooong, wasn't it?
can you tell i should be back to work "properly" today?
toodlepip