Living in America... visitors welcome

[SuperBunny]

East Coast
MaNanny - Boston
Twinmommytobe - Boston
MuminCT - CT
Greatgooglymoogly - NY State
Yesthereare4ofthem - NY State
Brooklynmom - NYC
alarkaspree - NYC
MKG - New Jersey
Mummimamma - PA
Poetmum - PA
Twirl - MD

South
Earlybird - TN
jabberwocky - AR
Sunchowder - Florida
Marls001 - Bentonville, AR
Tinpot - NC
MadameDeathStare- AL

Midwest
SuperBunny- Chicago
Dodgykeeper - Dayton, OH
Chocchipcookie - Ohio
MonkeyLover
KickAssAngel - Ann Arbor, MI
MumofFivemeanschaos

Rockies
Alipiggie - Boulder, CO
Ribena

Northwest
AnnieLaurie - Seattle, WA
Dooneygirl - Oregon City, OR

California
SittingBull - nr San Francisco
Califrau - Milpitas
loopsngeorge - Brentwood, LA
Syd - Manhattan Beach, LA
SofiaAmes - LA
LATyke - Redondo Beach
CarmenSanDiego - San Diego

Texas
Texan - Dallas
Tiggyhop - Houston
Vixie78 - Houston
BananaPudding - Austin
Cosmicdust - East Texas

Canada
Hellish - Ottawa
Shouldlistenedtomymum - Hamilton
Nooka - BC
Jacksmama - Langley

Exotic Islands
Anorak - Bermuda
cp - Trinidad
Barefeete - BVI

Brazil
Albert

Oh mananny, thank goodness your sister is ok.

Hooray for your big boobies heart. I am sure she is right.

Seemoreglass and redflipflops, can I recommend British Expats for lots of (rather oust) advice? I found it very useful for my moves to both the US and Canada

britishexpats.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=57

Although their Wiki seems to have gone a bit odd. Still if you use search you can usually find someone in a similar situation.

You really do need to know about the visas well in advance, because immigration to the States is very tricky, and very job/employer specific. Make sure that if they agree to sponsor you for anything more permanent you get it written into the contract (including when), plus costs for relocation back to the UK should things not work out. You should be able to tell how well they are likely to treat you on the size of your reloction package (I think it is supposed to cost something like $30k to emigrate - not that they are likely to spen that much, but do negotiate all you can).

When dh lost his job (L1B intracompany transfer visa) he was given six weeks pay (after a big fight) and no further support. I couldn't work as my EAD had only just arrived (took four months and can't be applied for in advance) and we had to leave the country. We actually moved on to Canada, but if we'd had to go back to the UK, then all the shipping costs etc would have been aid for by us. Job security is a big issue n the States (as in, in general there is none). Oh, and obviously health insurance is a big issue too - make sure that any salary includes both an estimate of taxes and insurance costs (can be a big chunk between them).

Having said all that we really enjoyed our stay in the USA (NYC). People were very friendly and (depending on the place) mums are a lot more involved in schools, volunteering etc (in fact we suspected that not having a parent at home would have been quite difficult).

It is not as nice as British Columbia though

If you are coming for a post at a University, you may well not get ANY help with shipping & relocation costs.

yes, forgot to say, very few jobs in the states have any kind of contract, so there's no job security for most people, onlye top executive types.

legally, there's also a max amount of relocation costs that can be covered before you get hist with tax on them. the rules are different each side of the atlantic so not quite sure what they are. it cost us 7k (pounds) just to ship our belongings over, so get some ball park figures for things before you make a decision.

i was exactly in this postition a year ago, so feel free to ask any Qs.

Thanks for advice and link to expat site.

Job is internal transfer/promotion within same company & they are v keen he accepts - the HR guy has said relocation/visa etc... will be sorted for us.

I guess I'm in shock as job offer came completely out of the blue (3rd DC only 10 days old... am full of hormones!). We've lived here 5 yrs and I have lots of friends and support etc... am worried about how easy it'll be in US to make new ones.

Also this will be the first time we've moved since having children - makes it more scary as we want to do the right thing for them.

Also cost of living/rent in California seems v high. what will be other costs? do they have local tax/council tax?

Generally, you pay tax on your income (State AND Federal tax), property and sales tax(it's over 10% here).

I live in the city and have to buy a sticker for my car (for the privilege of getting stuck in pot holes because they don't fix the roads)- that's $75 and is a bit like road tax but you may well not have that.

Food is expensive imo and it takes a while to find stuff that seems familiar e.g. decent bread not full of high fructose corn syrup.

Car insurance is extortionate and, at some point, you will have to do a driving test - rules vary according to state.

Also, factor in cost of petrol, health/ dental insurance and co-pays, medicines. Those will be your biggest outlays after rent and food, I should think.

On the plus side intracompany transfers are the best visas, especially if he is a manager and can get an L1a, it has the quickest route to a Green Card, and you would get permission to work (although it does take a few months before you get the certificate to prove that). Ask them to write into the contract for a Green Card, with a date of application, as it gives you a lot more security (ie you would not have leave the States pretty much immediately should for whatever reason the job not work out). You would also be wise to get a guarantee of relocation back to the UK in the same circumstances (expect for gross misconduct obviously).

It is worthwhile having a lawyer of your own go over the contract before signing up to anything IMO.

sb, has the big meeting happend yet? how did it go?

been travelling a bit & not around much, though in the same place for the next few days & will be here, i'm sure.

any exciting news anyone? i've just been to a pub for the eve. sttod at the bar like a ocmplete idiot, coudn't remember what i like to drink! got the hang of it after a while though.

How's life in the UK, Kickass?

Had a big meeting a week ago and have the final one next week

I had a funny story. But the talk was serious and about Visas, and I didn't want to interrupt with a frivolous train of thought. So by now I forgot my story.

Not surprisingly I have a food story I remember. I got 2 flats of day-old strawberries for $6. In less than 6 hours, I had jellied and syruped and baked my way to only 3 pints remaining. And then DH came home with about 10 pounds of rhubarb out of someone at work's garden that they didn't know what to do with, and were told to send it home with Mr. Dooney, because Mrs. Dooney would know what to do with it. I should have been excited, but I almost started crying. And now all of my strawberries in my garden that have spread out everywhere are ready, and I don't want to deal with them, either.

Ahh, poor you Still strawberries and rhubarb are a good combination, and rhubarb also freezes very well.

I made a strawberry and rhubarb pie, because the person who gave it to me requested some of it back in pie form, and I froze the rest as I've been gone for major parts of the day for the past few days. Colin's happy, because is second favorite food is rhubarb, according to him.

Dooney, your stories are always welcome, food related or otherwise. I was just thinking that I miss you. Next time you have a funny story, you must come here and post it immediately.

Sorry about your 'problem'. It sounds like quite a nice one to have but I know there have been times when it would have pushed me over the edge. We had 2 strawberries in our plot last week and Dinner nabbed them before I could try one. He has taken to eating them straight off the plant, with his teeth - no picking them carefully with his fingers. I had no idea what he was doing til I suggested he pick it first - he looked appalled and showed me his sandy little hands from playing in the sandbox. I wouldn't want to spoil a strawberry with sandy paws, either.

I wonder how Ali is getting on in England. Hasn't someone else gone, too?

I have a Colin story for you then, Bunny. Colin's class picnic was Wednesday. It rained, and we went to McDonalds (hairball hacking sounds). We got there, and one of the girls from his T-ball team was there. He ended up totally ditching his classmates and following her around. They put their arms around each other, and would walk around like that.

The next day was Caitlin's. We made it to the park, thank goodness. One of the girls in her class had an older sister. They all were playing, and the older sister told Colin not to chase her. Colin told her he wasn't, and started to run away, and she yelled for him to chase her. So they spent the whole rest of the time playing. The girl came up to her mother and I, and told her mom that she really liked Colin. The mom told me that her DD got crushes on boys all the time, and she was happy that it was Colin this time, because he was such a sweet boy and if her DD had to like someone, she would want it to be a boy like Colin. That made me feel really good. I also was quite worried, because it has become apparent that Colin has a thing for older women, as the girls were 7 and 8.

I love Colin!

What does Caitlin make of all this?

How's the rhubarb situation?

Caitlin's the oblivious 3rd wheel. So far that has been fine. Bet it won't be that way 10 or less years down the road.

We had Colin's last games today, and the dad of the girl he was following at McDonald's was saying it was all fun and innocent now, but if it continues in the future, he might have to have a talk with Colin. He's a really nice guy, and was totally joking about it. Colin's coach and the assistants came up to us after the game, and very nicely told us and Colin how they wished they could give him an award for most improved. He was by far the worst on the team when we started (can't remember how the coach put it, but it was much nicer than that) but they said now he's the best hitter on the team and one of the best fielders, too. His coach didn't realize that he's the youngest on the team by about 2 years, and was really surprised at how good he was doing, then.

The rhubarb is cut in chunks and all in the freezer. It was a bit older and slightly tougher than what I'm used to so I think putting it in the freezer for it to get a bit mushy is ideal, anyway. I have a coffee cake recipe that I make that we all just love that uses rhubarb, and found a ton of new recipes I'm looking forward to trying, so now everything's over with, I'm properly excited to have it.

Oh, my, I'm so behind on this thread the doctor I work with has been in Kenya all week and I've been running the office and putting out fires and just dropped the ball on MN

dooney, dh and I had a pie once in upstate NY that had rhubard and like 3 or 4 other kinds of berries in it. YUMMMMM!!!

mananny,your new job sounds fab. you have to tell us sometime why you have a law degree but don't do law

Oh Jabber, work sounds busy.

I thought of you this week - you know that DS has been going to a playgroup for ASD children. He was the peer model. Only now they have told me they think he is 'very sensitive' and perhaps when I go back to the UK, he should have a social worker or something. When the previous peer model left, they made him do some OT too. I can't decide if they are just very aware of children's sensitivities or if DS has problems. He IS sensitive - he bites his nails, sucks his thumb and sometimes needs to be moving a lot to soothe himself. But I think he's ok. I worry so much about how this move will affect him and now they've made me fret more. My poor baby is about to have his world collapse and I don't know how to make it easier for him.

I'm nosy curious too mananny. How are you? What're you doing with your last few weeks?

SB we all worry, all the time. dd found our move hard, but having a consistent parent is the most important thing in his life, so he will be ok after a while. my sister has also moved coutnry with young ones & they were fine.

england is sunny atm. i have escaped the in laws for now & only have the day trip to belfast on tues, which will be tiring, but ok. dh's gran & aunt are far more normal & relaxed than his mum.

am drinking g&t, and had pimms with sunday lunch (a roast, of course). mmmmm.

kickass, sounds like a lovely trip

SB, I agree that when you work with kids who have sensory issues it can be easy to see that in other kids too who may or may not actually be having a problem. Of course, imo, sensory problems are at an epidemic level and we are just seeing it more and more. It wouldn't hurt to just be really aware of this with the upcoming move and try to notice what his triggers may be and if he seems to become more anxious than would be considered normal or average. It's a tough call sometimes. There are lots of us on the Special Needs board to query about this as well. Have you read the Highly Sensitive Child? There are many kids who are just a little more sensitive (I was one!) but aren't on a particular spectrum. They just take a little more TLC than the average kid iykwim.

HTH

Thanks Jabber - I will try to read that before we leave. I have not googled because I know it will make me worry more!

He really seems ok but is perhaps a bit jumpy at times - one of his playgroup leaders walked round a corner and, even though he knew she was there, he jumped a mile. He wasn't actually scared but his body seemed surprised. Similarly when a newly walking baby walked up to him and went 'YAAAAAH' in his face, he jumped. Actually, that might have made me startle a bit too but his body's reaction seemed a bit OTT. His response? To yell, "NO! I DON'T like that!" in the baby's face and then walked away

I want pimms.

I have planned my first day back:

Nice cuppa tea with a biscuit

Fish and chips (I won't eat the fish but I want the soggy batter from underneath )

Beefy Hula Hoops

Pimms

I'm still jumpier than the typical person

Sounds like a really nice plan to celebrate being back home

What are Pimms????

Pimms is a summer drink, based on gin. You mix it with sprite type stuff and add slices of orange, cucumber and mint. It looks like this

Only sophisticated people drink it