Der Herbst ist da - wir wollen aber kein Regenwetter: Life in Germany cont/d

[finknottle]

Too lazy to scroll through the other long one.

Here for Obst und Blaetter - guess what d came home from school singing yesterday?

All welcome, Austria & Switzerland & any German-speaking Leute too

God, is everyone having a bad day? I've just been called into Kindergarten for a meeting about DS1. Thankfully DH was here for once. Because he can't speak German, he ignores all rules, doesn't do anything he's asked, and is basically a flipping nightmare for them. They are searching for a teacher to teach german to him.

I admit most of the problem is that we are both English, hence we speak that at home. I sprinkle in whatever German I can to DS1 but it's not enough. I've contacted my teacher to start our lessons again.

I feel hopeless, alone, angry, stressed and about to scream my bloody head off. DS1 is so happy at KG, probably because they single him out for special treatment.

Half-term starts Friday - or s'pose at 12 pm on Thursday.
2 wks bliss.
Will get garden cleared.
Will sort out photos from summer.
Will lie in front of fire drinking red wine.

Admylin, how's your h enjoying his new job?
Have you heard from Sandy - I'll email her today I think.

TQO - x-post.
KG should be able to cope with him not speaking any German, tbh.
Can you and they go over the main rules & vocab with him, like a game?
Aufraeumen/ wir raeumen jetzt auf/darf ich/darfst du nicht/magst du?... etc.

Is he being selectively deaf? S2 had a phase of doing that when he didn't want to do st at kg he's pretend he hadn't understood it But your s has only been there such a short time, hasn't he?

He's been at that KG since Easter (but in the Mucki-Gruppe for smaller kids). He's only in his third week in the 3-6yo proper class. The teacher said "You've been here, what, a year? We have Spanish and Israeli children here, and they are all speaking German by now. Finlay doesn't try to understand."

I've seen him with the teachers. They speak German ti him, and he responds. He doesn't like being in a large group, so when they sit for talks, he gets up, dances, walks off. Apparently he is so disruptive to their quiet talks that quite often he is removed.

I'm a bit pissed off that they've waited three weeks before discussions. Every day I've been collecting him, and asking how it's been. "Alles klar" is the response from them. Now, suddenly it's a big issue.

I think their main concern is not so much the language, but the fact that because he doesn't understand, he chooses to ignore, because he has that excuse. He is a disciplined boy at home, so it's very frustrating to hear it go to pot when he's away from us.

I'm online now trying to find some dual language books. He loves to listen to us read German books to him, and he copies the words. Maybe that would help.

I agree they should be able to cope with your ds at Kindergarten. My ds started when he was 4 and didn't speak a word and the teacher/Erzieherin had very basic school English so she couldn't translate.

Finknottle, apart from the shock with the pay being less than Berlin (which he is hopefully sorting out today - what a plonker honestly) he's getting on slowly but enjoying it. Great lab, has his own secretary and assistant which he didn't have in Berlin. I'm sure he'll get the money thing sorted too - it must be a mistake otherwise he'd be the only person in east Germany who ever earned more in a similar job to a west German. They still have the different Tarif system and he was in Charite in the east of Berlin and colleagues who were employed on the west German sites in berlin earned more and Hannover is definately west so it MUST be sorted.

Quietone, it doesn't sound as if it's a language problem. He probably does understand but he's just not behaving the way they want him to. My dd went to KiGa also when she was 4 and she didn't speak for a whole year - not a word, she just watched and listened. I know that's different to what your ds is doing but they all react differently. Could he be bored? I hate those mixed groups anyway, what can you do with a group of 3 to 6 year olds? There 's always going to be a few who are fed up - it'd be much easier to do activities with a group of same age dc.

Oh Ernst - its a bummer when the day starts off bad. Puts me in a stinker all day. No, YANBU to expect stupid American woman to say hello. Some people are just plain anti-soc out here!

So, am afraid to say would love to meet, but am absolutely chocka this week - not sure when I could make it. Kinda depends what do you class as out West and where do you suggest meeting?

TQO - Sorry your evening got ruined. Do you still get a lunch-nap/free time to make up for it? Blackberry to "hightech" for my DH - sits on the work laptop and winges about our bad wireless connection instead!Did you manage to get any weetabix in the end?

Better go - DS trying to eat baby jigsaw pieces, sat on floor, which of course is now covered in dog hair.

I agree, it's his behaviour that's causing the problem, and as they can't get him to respond to their German, they think he needs lessons to pick up the language. He does get bored easily, and my concern is that even if he does have the lessons, I''m not sure if he'll apply it anyway.

They like quiet children. Mine are not. God, I'm going to find myself considering if he has deeper issues if I don't watch myself...

You know the trouble is they do like quiet children - my sister has 2 dd's - perfectly normal girls for England but if I'd put them in ds's KIGa they'd have had problems and been labeled as naughty. They don't seem to do 'mental stimulation' like in UK, I remember going back home with ds and being amazed at how much everyone interacted with him and what my sister was doing with her dd's (similar age) and it made me realize that he'd been missing out on alot by living in Germany. Both my dc wer ebored stiff in German KiGa and I only sent them so they would be able to cope at Grundschule otherwise it was a waste of time.

'I'm going to find myself considering if he has deeper issues if I don't watch myself... '

I felt the same with ds in his last year of KiGA, the Erzieherin was always coming out to tell me she was dissapointed or he hadn't joined in this or that - she really disliked ds in the end but now he's top of his class, liked by all the pupils and teachers alike. He was just too bored and fed up with singing ina circle with 3 year olds and not even being allowed to play pirates with his same age friend in 'free play' because it might scare the little ones

at kg - don't go beating yourself up!
He sounds perfectly normal to me.
Wtf is the "quiet talk" stuff? I know the children are encouraged to be able to sit still in a group and & concentrate for a short time on e.g. Fingerspiele etc. but if he doesn't like that it's hardly a big flipping deal & they should flipping deal with it.

Think the comment about how long you've been there is out of order, blimey my 3 are bilingual , born here & all had problems with German when they started.

Plus he's only been in the 3-6 grp for a short time. Sounds to me like you have the type of Erzieherin who want/can only be bothered with biddable children. Tough. You know what your son's like & they're being unreasonable imo.

Audio books? Bob der Baumeister or similar? I've found they really help my d's German, she puts on a cd/cassette & plays for ages.

I Agree, somehow if my 2 have a cassette on in the background they sit for ages listening and playing at the same time. We only had English ones so we started getting them at the local library and they discovered Pumuckl and the German versions of the fairy tales etc. They've even been known to sit listening to 'The old testament for children' cd's in German.

tqo, sorry you're having such problems at KG. Mine went to kg with no german aged 5 & were quite withdrawn for the 1st year, but then the 2nd year were totally transformed. maybe your ds will blossom before your eyes soon. Feel for you tho.

Now, warning, I need to rant, major major rant. I've just had the worst shopping experience imaginable & am still shaking & stunned & my whole day id now messed up. GGGGRRRRRRRR

Went into Müller to print off some photos. Machine ran out of paper. Asked for help. Woman A turns up. Really abrupt. Take your memory stick out, move out of the way etc etc. I politely ask her if she'll show me how to use it. She does & gives me envelope containing prints, which I take to till along with other things.

Woman B zaps my stuff, then gets to prints, asks for Zettel. I explain I've got no Zettel, woman A just gave me envelope, no Zettel. Much todo. Wthout any explaination to me, my transaction is cancelled. I'm told to give her back the stuff & she puts it all on 1 side. I'm pissed off cos woman A so rude, woman B cancels without explaining to me. Baby crying. I say I haven't got time for this now as have to feed baby.

Go to seat just outside shop, start BF. Woman 1 then comes up to me and has a go at me for running off, says I have to pay. I say I tried to pay & explain. Sh'es shouting at me in front of everyone in the shopping centre for running away without paying - I didn't have anything from the shop, I wasn't shoplifting or anything. I tell her she's rude and annoying me and I'll come back when I've finished bf my baby.

2 minutes later she comes back, with woman B in tow to to a lawyer cross examination of exactly who said what. I tell them I cannot believe both of them are harassing me while I'm bf my baby on a chair right outside the effing shop. Millions of people staring.

I go in to pay. Woman b back on till says excitedly to another assistant "she's gone she's gone - the woman with the baby - I saw her stand up and walk off" I drily say, actually, I'm right here. and ask to see the manager.

Luckily manager a v. nice to me but scary looking middle aged woman, she listened to me very carefully, was clearly angered about what had happened, agreed with me how out of order it was & said (in a very scary voice) that she would deal with the 2 women. And she apologised! No one in Switzerland apologises.

God sorry for the blow by blow account, but it was so bloody embarrassing and surreal. I mean, I tried to pay, I didn't leave with anything I shouldn't, it was just awful. Honestly, I'm still flushed and hot in the face now.

And now my afternoon is knackered, cos spent so long in mad shop, didn't have time to whizz round the supermarket, so can't put tonight's dinner on, got no breakfast for tomorrow.

Bah.

Oh no Ernest that sounds awful but so familiar, happened to me so many times, nasty people honestly. The worst part was the horrid feeling of wanting to go and smash someones face in - it just always made me feel so helpless but also aggressive. Have you calmed down now?

Did you ever try Kaiser supermarket delivery thing? I know they deliver shopping and you can order online in Berlin and Munich area only. Don't think the choice is what you would get from a UK online shop but still OK for Notfälle!

By the way well done for asking for the manager - I always forget to do that - or I think of it when it's too late.

phew! Fine thanks Felt better as soon as I'd written it all down. Ta for ears And my boys are back and we've all said sorry and had a kiss and cuddle, so all is right in the world. And we're all doing pictures with the stuff I got in evil shop, so I suppose it was worth it.

If manager hadn't been so good I'd still be feeling terrible, but she was great and assured me she'd deal with it, plus she waited in queue with me, and even told thepay lady off for something, and she wasn't even one of the evil pair, so I felt pretty sure they'd be chewed up and spat out quick sharpish

at nasty shop assistants, Ernest. You're not having a good day are you? I think you dealt with it admirably. I wouldn't have thought of getting the manager either until much later and would have got all flustered and angry. I'm glad I haven't had any really bad experiences since we moved here. I think people are a lot friendlier here than in other parts of the country. Maybe it's cos we're near the Pfalz where people are quite laid back and generally helpful or perhaps the French influence. Years ago when I spent time in Frankfurt and also in the east this sort of thing happened frequently so I know how you feel!

Thequietone, sorry you're having such a horrible time with KG. I think he sounds perfectly normal too. We had similar problems with ds when we moved here. He was 4 and at the first KG he went to he never really settled at all - wouldn't speak or sit still when asked and the staff would tell me all this without being able to say what they thought the problem was. When we moved he went to a much better, more professionally run KG where the Leiterin did make more effort to help him but I would say he never really settled there. At the time I thought there was really something wrong but looking back now I would say a lot of it was just due to him being very unsettled by the move and having to communicate in a different language. He was also in a mixed age group so that was perhaps also a factor - he was often bored - and also a boy thing. KG was run by women (as they usually are) and the boys were always being told off for being too boisterous.

Oh Mi God what a pants day everyone is having!

Ernst - feel you had such a horrible experience but you got the manager and they sorted out the evil hags shop assistants. Well done you! My German always fails me when I get all emotional.

Which Mullers was it? Do you want me to send the boys round?

Am now reading about everyon's day feeling very worried about the day DS starts KG.

Oh well, there is a reason why Germans say "customer service" in English.

PS have used "Kaiser" delivery service, i.e. Tengleman online and IME it was kak - milk with one day on the date, fruit half rotten and things missing.

Blimey Ernest, what witches, glad the manager was so assertive - and you, I'd have been a hormonal mess with a wee baby.
I use the village shops a lot & one advantage is that are all v friendly. Think Taipo's right about the Pfalz, when we moved here it was shockingly different in a good way.

TheGabster, my 3 have all been through kg and loved it. Only criticism in big scheme of things is that S2 needed more encouragement to bring him out of his shell & if he's been in s1 & d's group, I know he would have got that but the boys overlapped age-wise so that wasn't on.

When d started I asked for her to go to the grp s1 had been in & despite all her protestations that she couldn't promise...we can't pick... the manager did put her in there. I think she liked me because I was smiley & friendly & never complained, lol, but then I had nothing to complain about.

Minor things can get so blown up & mums were forever being ueber critical but as long as my children were happy I wasn't going to get in a spin about how often the group had a Gemeinsamesfruehstueck or how muddy their boots were after a hike I had no time for all that huddled in corners hissing about how Florian hadn't done any basteln that week and why wouldn't the manager allow English 'lessons'. She did eventually but I could have told the hissers that there wasn't much point at kg as Florian will leave primary school aged 10 knowing about 20 words of English mostly related to "Was ist in meinem Ranzen?"

Remember being surprised having a meeting about s1 & the teachers being spot on about his strengths & weaknesses and how they worked with him to nurture the former and deal with the latter.

Then when d started there and was so shy and spoke rubbish German they were brilliant with her.
So (3 children) multiplied by (3 years each) equals 9 years trouble-free kg.

Only major gripe - but this only affected d in her last year so ignored it - is that they've started taking 2 yr olds, which would be fine if they were in their own group and join the 3-6 when aged 3. As it is, d's group had 7 2yr-olds and for all they tried and they had an extra teacher, I don't think the teachers could devote as much time to the older ones. But, shrug, we're finished now.

good morning, blimey it really is Herbst now, innit - got loads of conkers on the way back from kg. day started better. hope everyone elses is better too x

(told dh about shop incident, who told his colleagues. One of them asked if I wanted them to 'pop round'!

There were quite a few of those ueber mums at our KG. Do you find though, that once their dc start school those mums that were really critical suddenly become very accepting of the system and don't dare speak out? This is straying into s* related territory so I think I'll revive that thread later.

20 words of English (in dd's case French) sounds about right at end of primary school

Yes, never clicked that before, taipo but they do crumble in the face of Lehrerin authority! I don't but as you say, we have the other thread for that...
Am less than thrilled by the 12 C here. Ignoring list of outdoor things which I've been saving for half-term instead of doing them 2 weeks ago when it was 20C and sunny.

Hi everyone. Wow, it's absoloutly pouring down here and has been for the last 2 days non-stop. The pavements all the way to school are half flooded and the road h has to go down to get to his office is also covered in knee deep puddles! He's just phoned to say his trousers were so wet he's locked his office door and has taken them off to dry them on the heating! I told him to get them back on and go and get a pair from the other building where they change to go in the operating room!

I have quite a nice collection of shoes of all different styles but I don't own a pair that are 100% waterproof. Thinking I need a pair of wellies but there has to be a more stylish way to go out and about in this weather!

Yes. lets revive that 's' thread I have big worries at the moment too.

Thanks for the words about KG Finknottle - I suppose time will tell.

Yup, its horrible grey and damp here too - the woods are ever so pretty now the leaves and down though - I suppose it won't be long 'till the snow then.

LOL at mental picture of man in office with no strides on!

OK, what is an "S" thread?

By the way, can recommend not getting dog - stupid animal just gone barky mad at something and woken DS1 20m into morning nap. Mega pissed as DS has been awake since 5am on and off with teeth and needless to say dog is in basket sulking as gave him good telling off.

Hmph