Der Herbst ist da - wir wollen aber kein Regenwetter: Life in Germany cont/d

[finknottle]

Too lazy to scroll through the other long one.

Here for Obst und Blaetter - guess what d came home from school singing yesterday?

All welcome, Austria & Switzerland & any German-speaking Leute too

Ok, so appart from the other random acts of telling you off I get from total strangers in the street/supermarket (please tell me I am not alone here) and everbody's first two questions on seeing my gorgeous DS in his pram dressed from head to toe in blue (i.e. "what is it" and "hows the BFing going" - I had to stop at 5 weeks) I'm fuming from baby group this morning (although have calmed down a bit now) - why do Germans always think they know what is best for your child and you could not possibly understand what is required?! Why do Germans not understand how to mind their own business!!

Don't get me wrong, the other mums in the group are really nice, its the stupid $%&§ing "group leader". Get a few quals in nursery teaching and apparently its your job to rid the world of un-educated mums!!! Grrrrrrr. Ladies, please tell me I do not have years of this still yet to come (kiGa etc)?????

Ok, I feel much better for that, thank you !

Right, now have to go and see if I can fit into my dirndl (yeh, right ) as we are going to risk going to Oktoberfest tomorrow morning (DH, DS und mich) - wish us luck!

Ernest, my friend in south Germany has a dd who is expected to grow to no more than 144cm. Even with that document from the doctor they refused to pay for the growth treatment and she's got the headache of trying to find alot of money quickly becaus ethe longer they wait the less chance there is of it helping as her dd is already 11 years old. They did tell her (teh insurance people) that it was refused because she left it too late and the chances of success are much higher the younger the dc. So you might be lucky and get the funding. It's worth trying by applying with all the documents and proof of your ds's grwoth rate and how tall he would be expected to be without treatment. She also told me it's worth appealing if they turn it down too but with more documents and doctors letter, even at the moment she's getting a psycologist to assess her dd and write to the insurance about the psycological effects of being so small.

My friend is having sleepless nights because if she just leaves it her dd will have massive problems as an adult but would be just a few cm too tall to be classed as needing help officially.

I'm not new here thegabster but I'm very bad at the integration game and find it takes up too much of my energy trying to join in and be German - it's difficult because I can not imagine growing old here so I live for the day h gets a job offer in UK - or I would probably cope with the US too. I lived in France before Germany and never felt homesick as I loved it and would quite willingly have become a French national but I can't ever fit in here.

I know exactly what you mean thegabster!

feel like a voyeur but i've been lurking on your thread - we've made no more plans for our move to northern bavaria but i like to read all your rants about living in germany!
can i pick your brains about schools and kiga? dd is 7, ds1 is 4 and ds2 is 2 - is there any advice you'd give us about what to look for in a school for dd? and do you have to pay for kiga for ds1 or is there somehting like a pre school set up like you have in the UK where he can go for a few hours each morning? think the two little ones would need to go to some kind of kiga to pick up some more german - if there home with me all day its never going to improve!!

Hi Canella - Not xlear - are you in UK and planning to move at some point? I've only been here 5 mins, so clueless, but depending on how 'old' the 2 yr old is, your youngest 2 could both go to the Kiga. You do have to pay, it's about 100 euros a month. As for dd, well, if you're putting her in the local school, then that's about the decision making process complete - it's not like in UK where you choose from x amount of schools, not here anyway - there's 1 school and that's the one you go to.

ad, thanks for info on your friend. Our endocrinologist seems to be a head honcho - doubt we'd get much better. She reckons KK def say No. Anyway, doesn't make sense refsuing cos of her age - if they said yes to our ds cos he's only 4, then they're lumbered with 12 to 14 years of payments, instead of a mere 4 ish for her. basically it's any excuse not to pay.

I've started n iron rich diet and drops & pray it helps.

Going to Oktoberfest today, but apparently not allowed to call it that, as it's only tourists who call it that.

Hey Ernst - I know I am joing in late and unknowledgeable and all that, but have personally found several times told KK will not pay for something by specialist, only to ring them and find another avenue which they will pay for e.g. specialist for my back and physio during preg. Realise your specialist is top honcho and don't mean to bring false hope, but you could trying ringing the KK themselves and talk to them direct. You never know. And I've always found them really helpful, even with my v. poor German.

And yes, us locals are supposed to call the fest the "Wiesn" but don't ask if its der, die or das!!

We went yesterday morning and had great time. Got there just before the tents opened (10am) so nice table, loads of room, DS had his first tast of Wiesn pretzel (although have to say not first taste of beer) and left as it was getting busy at 12. Perfect!!

X

thanks ernst for the schools advice - we're in the UK but my husband starts a job in Franken in January (he's german) and we're going to join him once he's found a place for us to live - seems the easier way to do it rather than flying back and forward over the next few months with 3 kids trying to find somewhere to live! i feel totally unprepared for the move even though its what we both want - really need to improve my german - think thats why i want the little ones to go to kiga so i can take some language lessons while there out and then we'll all get better at it!
Enjoy Wiesn - have a beer for me!

Hi canella, prepare yourself by reading our German school thread and ask away on here too www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2423/478579 - those of us with dc at school have mostly been through Kindergarten too. Your 7 year old would go into either year 1 or year 2 depending how old he is when you arrive so he'll probably be ahead of the German dc his age which might be good to give him more time to catch up on his German. The younger ones will learn it 'nebenbei' anyway at Kindergarten, atleast that's what my 2 did. Or do your dc already speak German?

Ernest I'll let you know if my friend gets any where with her appeals to the KK - if she gets them to agree I'll let you know exactly what she gave them to prove her case as I know she is doing quite alot. I know the specialist treating her dd was also the head of research and klinik and quite well known and he said the only other possibility is to try and get on a reasearch/trial programme.

Thanks admylin! will have a look on that thread once i've got the monkeys to bed! dd1 (7) is pretty good at speaking deutsch - she goes every summer to oma & opa and speaks nothing else! ds1 (4) is a bit hit and miss - think his understanding is quite good but once he's there i'm sure he'll be great!

Ooooh - Ernst - are you there? When I first joined the thread you asked if we had met before and I must admit you sounded familiar. Can I ask - do you study with the OU?

Morning everyone! I'm sitting in waiting for a delivery. Isn't it typical, we've got people staying but I've sent them off to explore because if I'm out when it comes they'll leave it at the post office and it's a bike in a box so I'll never be able to carry it home. Think h's idea about buying a car atlast would be a good idea even though Hannover is paradise for cyclists so we don't really need one -although in winter it would be nice!

Have also just sat and sent emails out to all the places we haven't yet told about our new address. We told h's bank and they changed teh address for his account but they didn't bother for the mastercard which comes as a seperate bill but all from same bank so I've had to sit and figure out which things still need to know.

Our visitors are from Scotland and they were telling us that we have it good here as everything is cheaper as compared to Glasgow where they live. They also rent but half the size of our place for same price, food is extremely expensive and things like council tax (140 pounds a month) on top of rent, water gas and electric all add up. They run a car which is also really expensive but there is no public transport at the times they need it. Maybe we shouldn't moan so much and get on with enjoying the good things about Germany. They even got to comparing health care and I must admit, I'm quite glad I had my 2 dc in German hospital.

Hey Admylin - has it come yet?

No, don't get a car. The bike is better! That's the excuse I keep giving anyway. Is Hannover good for bikes too then? I suspect its the whole of Germany. Fab.

Yes, you are right, should be focusing on pluses of living here - like

low crime rate,
safe to go walking at night,
cheap public transport, that works and is even on time!
gorgeous Swiss chocolate everywhere,
clean streets,

What else?

We don't have a car either. Nearly everywhere in our town is within walking/cycling distance so I really wouldn't need to use a car very often. It would be nice to have one though for weekend trips into the Black Forest or to pop over to France and also for when it's raining or really cold (am a bit of wimp when it comes to cycling in all weathers). I'm thinking of doing car sharing maybe. Does anyone have any experience of this?

We went by train yesterday to go and visit mil for the day. It was a beautiful sunny day and the journey was spectacular, firstly along all the yellowing vineyards and then through the Pfaelzer Wald which I always love but it's especially attractive at this time of year.

It sort of made up for the rest of the day which was basically a family gathering from hell.....

Got to wake the boys up, but just need to let it out as again DH is away...I'm having one of those "I don't want to be here" days today. I'm not sure why, as both boys are fine. I did see all my family on Skype yesterday morning and maybe that's affected me. I don't want to return to the UK but today I'm just SO tired of trying to fit in(TQO tries to insert wobbly bottom lip emoticon here).

Sympathy from me, we can have a wobbly lip together, put the kettle on.

H has just come home to tell me he's been given 700 Euro less than his old job in Berlin. I can't believe it. I've sent him back out with his old pay slips to get it sorted - it must be a mistake. Anyway he just rang that he's given it all to his supervisor and told them to give him atleast 1000 more and she said she'd try. I was all for going to get a job at the till in Lidl if they didn't give him it, as if - I'd have to leave my dc alone too often to even earn 400 Euro (stress, stress)

OOOoh - oodles of positive vibes coming your way TQO & Admylin as I have loads to spare today (although not sure why as DS has been on strike for sleep since yesterday lunch-time).

Run a lovely warm bubbly bath, ignore the scum around the top and the toys at the end, and REEEEELLLLLLAAAAAAAXXXX.

Feck, I should be happy, but I got to 7pm and just about to put DS1 to bed when DH came home.

He's supposed to be on a plane.

Business plans have changed, and he's home for the night. "Now, what luck eh, wifey, you're cooking my favourite lentil dhal for dinner." That's not his words, but I know what he was thinking. I was going to settle in for an early night, chilling out, looking minging but comfortable. He is now sitting in the kitchen/hub of the house, invading the personal space I REALLY needed tonight to possible shed a tear over, workign furiously on his laptop and the 3rd person in our lives (his Blackberry).

I'm grumping down in the basement...

TQO - much sympathies. Sorry you're feeling down. Everyone has times when being 'away' feels extra hard. Last night just watching adverts eg Sainsbury's, I asked dh if he thought we'd ever move back. We've been gone so long now.

Dh has also got a blackberry & it pisses me off when he comes in from work sill tippy tappying into it. 'Just sending an email', without even looking up - no 'hello darling'

Oh, and I can so relate to looking forward to the time on your own, then dh comes back early, and your plans for relaxing out of the window, & you have to look pleased about it too !

Were you convincing? Did you make the dahl? Have you got a good recipe?

So I suggested a Munich meet and the only people interested apparently are the ones that camn't come. ho hum

One last ditch attempt - tqo - sometime this week I'm coming to West, and think I'll be just a hop skip and a jump from you, if you wanna meet for a cuppa? There, final word on the matter. I'm thinking of starting to do some scrapbooking, and here's a shop over your way.

I love being able to go everywhere by bike as well even though we're in an old Winzerdorf where the pavements are narrow and there are no bike lanes. I happily let d cycle ahead of me on the road and we only have to be extra careful on our road, officially 30 km but there are idiots who race out of the Pfaelzer Wald at mad speeds.

Visiting family this summer I realised that I wouldn't cycle there as much or let the children do so unaccompanied - the traffic is v bad here but at least there are more cycle lanes in larger towns/cities & much more awareness.
In particular, am delighted not to have a school run, I like the way my 3 go off in the morning, esp after 8 yrs of the kiga run. Gives me a couple of extra hours to myself for coffee & MN & the paper.

Taipo, your ILs aren't that far from us, am I right? It is particularly lovely here in autumn.

Thequietone, I know the feeling, v disheartening. It helps sometimes to just accept there is no "standard fit" and it's important to do things for yourself, just because you want to.

Ernest, blimey you're up early. What exactly is scrapbooking?

Admylin, am expecting a parcel from my mum & she always sticks in bits of the last couple of Sat & Sunday papers, great for reading in the bath. I treated myself to 3 papers last week when out in the metropolis - don't know what I'd do without the internet but nothing beats a real paper in your hands.

morning omg we have had a shit morning here. all 3 boys in really grumpy moods, arguing, fighting refusing to eat breakfast blah blah blah.

And I've just got back from taking ds3 to KG & discovered the woman who is at the locker opposite, who I see EVERY morning is American! I heard her talking english in the street, how effing unfriendly is that - not to even say hello? aibu to be absurdly annoyed. Christ it's so fucking hard having to totally uproot & start all over again, not knowing a soul and she can't even manage a bloody hello. I guess having such a bad mrning with boys made it worse but I am really seriously pissed off about it.

FN scrapbooking is aparently, posh photo albums Well, I guess it's more than that really, I'll get told off by proper scrapbookers I went to a scrapbooking tupperware party yesterday, and the full-on stuff is too much for me- I'm lazy and not very creative, but it's basically an über photo album, so maybe a theme, like a baby album, or holiday, or 1 child's year etc & not just pics, but little momentos, eg certificates or concert tockets relating to the photos & tarting up the pages with decorations, stickers & what not.

I just fancy doing it as I have millions of photos on the comp that never get looked at, and a couple of years ago our comp died & we didn't have external herd drive & we lost loads all our boys baby pics

keep me off the streets too

hope everyone has a good day. My throat os sore after yelling at my boys this am

Awful, Ernest, isn't it?
I amaze myself and not in a good way by how I can rage at my 3 in the mornings My fuse is v short despite my best intentions. We had a run of harmony at the start of term and were probably due a blow-out...yesterday, one grumpy d (6) sniping at annoying s1 (11 going on 4) and s2 (angelic at 9) getting caught in the crossfire.
Am fairly even of temperament and fairly OK usually as a morning bod but on school mornings I transmogrify into scary mad mother who can go up like kindling at bathroom arguments.

And help me, please, arguments with s1 about wearing his cycling helmet. "You don't wear one" sez he.
S2: "Yes, but mum's a grown-up she does lots of things you can't. She drinks gin."
D: "And stays up really late."
S2: "Xactly"

Tried "I ride an old granny-bike like an old granny and I do not ride hands-free on a racing bike like you do ..."
Only got him to wear it by drawing a mental picture of him in hospital with giant scar down his face or with broken teeth, appealing to his vanity and Thinking Of Girls.

Solutions that don't include my wearing a helmet?

Oh and you're not unreasonable re the American. Odd indeed, expats usually have a radar for people speaking English.
Sending soothing thoughts your way.

Morning, you lot are early birds aren't you! My dd was in a foul mood today too - hope she snapped out of it once she got into school. I asked her if everything was OK and she just said well if you lot wouldn't talk so loud I would have got to sleep last night - oops, we've got guests staying but we didn't talk that loud and there were 2 doors closed between her and us.

I've just sent them off (teh guests) in the rain to visit Celle. No idea what it's like there but it's in all the Hanover tourist books so must be something there!

YANBU ernest about the American woman. I had that in Berlin once, we went to swimming lessons, well I took the dc for lessons and we always chatted away or I was telling them off or they were fighting in English in the changing rooms so everyone knew we were English speaking and one woman in a corner was always very quiet so I didn't realise 'til nearly the end of the course that she was infact British. When I heard her speaking to her dd my first thought was to go up and start talking but then I thought well she doesn't want to speak or she would have done so by now - no way she couldn't have heard my 2 fighting in English and me shouting at them bad mum - maybe that's what she thought, who knows.

Finknottle, I love getting the local town paper from my dad, he always saves a couple of months worth and brings them when he visits. Not to be read when feeling too homesick but otherwise very enjoyable!