Possible relocation to SF.

[MyBeautifulRaven]

Any advice from US base MNetters, particularly West Coast.

I've had an approach from a tech company - $380k base with a very attractive equity package. It would mean a relocation to the Bay area, which is what gives me pause. I'm very happy with my life here, our children are in the process of fledging so it feels like an odd time to relocate. On the other hand, it feels like an incredible opportunity, especially at my age. DH works for a US company already, albeit in a remote role, but it means his hours would align nicely so no problem there.

Ugh, any thoughts?

Oh please do go for it . Tech is part of modern life and it's great that your skills have been noted and they seem willing to pay well and ease your path . I think your kids are actually a great age . Uni life for them with the option of regularly getting to the US . I would be so proud of my mother and you husband seems pleased for you too. Hope you are content with whatever decision you make .

@MyBeautifulRaven Energy sector?

AFAIK California typically uses 'at-will' employment rather than traditional fixed contracts.
Have you confirmed what your offer says about a severance package and equity acceleration, just in case?

I feel very fucking validated by the offer, no not the energy sector - frontier models. I can't really say much more - the offer is very NDAd

@soontobe60 Was it a permanent move? I can totally see why that would affect your relationship, but a temporary move might be different IYSWIM.

You should do it!!!!! Even if it’s just for 2 years.

You can pay flights for the kids to visit in their uni holidays.

When I was at uni between the ages of 18-22 it was all me, me, me. I didn’t really think twice what my parents were up to. It’s a totally self-absorbed and busy age. Bonkers to turn down such an opportunity and stay in UK on the offchance they will need you.

They’ll love the free holidays to SF, and they’ll love having keys and free roam of your empty house in the UK too.

What an incredible opportunity.

I think the timing is off for your children. But even then I couldn’t go, for the current leader and the earthquake risk.

I can't concern myself about current leadership. It would be remiss to care.

I disagree with posters saying kids need you too much . So many of us older people were out on our own at that age . And nowadays communications are vastly easier . You must know that if DCs were offered internship, scholarship , exchange programs abroad they might want to go . Imagine if you didn't do it and they moved away ! 😁

Quite!

It feels very much my time. Very much.

I always made my decisions based on the needs of others, I don't want to do it any more

BUT I also made my decisions from a very strong ethics base.

Have you spoken to them? Are they generally stable and independent with no mental health problems?

My children?

Yes.

OK, so part of my appeal is that I have sat on ethics boards and said no, your ethical framework doesn't work. So any decision I make has to be clean. I cannot not consider all angles.

@MyBeautifulRaven I hear you!

Do it! Just don’t sell your home so that you can return to it.

SFO to LHR is a nothing flight - I’ve done it so many times straight from work, there next morning. Family emergency trips are horrible, but a fact of life when you live far away. With aging parents I would laterally come back 4 times a year, and so as long as work is ok with you going remote when needed, it is fine.

SF is still marvelous, so much to do and see, and not having a car is fine in the city. Public transport, ride shares and rental when you need it.

Politically, the Bay Area is a safe haven. We are all madder than hell, but it is a liberal enclave (hopefully that matches your sentiment, otherwise this may not be the place for you)

This is a great opportunity, as long as you are prepared for it not being forever.
You will need to budget a significant amount for your DC to visit, last minute trips are expensive - and at their ages there is always a reason to need a hug from their DM. They will come as often as you pay for tickets, in my experience.

That feel like validation.

Politically, the Bay Area is a safe haven. We are all madder than hell, but it is a liberal enclave (hopefully that matches your sentiment, otherwise this may not be the place for you)

I like this!!

So, paying US tax at $300K for the husband and $380k for me will still leave us with substantial monthly income. Plus my equity. That's ok isn't it?

I know that;

A) sounds like a dick question.

B) Also sounds like a dick question.

I don't understand the ethics issue. Is there something unethical about the job or company?

Erm, it's a no harm first environment. And I'm very strong about no harm first principles.