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Original poster

Should I relocate to Monaco with 16 year old twin boys

119 replies

Enna0105 · 26/02/2025 09:11

My partner and I have been together for eight years. He recently moved to Monaco for tax purposes. We have a five-year-old daughter, and I also have 15-year-old twin sons from a previous relationship. We're currently managing a long-distance relationship with regular visits to Monaco. My primary reason for staying in the UK is to allow my twins to complete their GCSEs next year. However, I'm considering relocating the entire family to Monaco afterwards. My twins are resistant to the idea, but I'm increasingly concerned about safety and the overall quality of life in the UK. I believe Monaco, with its better climate and international schools, would offer them a more secure and enriching environment for their college years. Would it be selfish of me to prioritize this move despite my sons' reluctance?"

OP posts:
sunbum · 26/02/2025 12:48

why wouldn't you wait until theyre 18 and finished schooling and off to uni or whatever? i think getting used to a whole new school, system (IB not A level?), wealthy international kids etc is a bit much to expect from them and wont be conducive to them doing well in their A levels. And might make uni applications here in the UK difficult (and certainly very expensive as they will be classed as international students) if that is what they're interetsed in?

if hes there for tax purposes just get him to pay for flights every half term and holiday surely? or he can fly back at weekends.

notatinydancer · 26/02/2025 12:56

Is he not bothered about leaving his daughter ?

Cormoran · 28/02/2025 08:52

I opened this thread thinking I could contribute about life in Monaco as a 16 years old, albeit quite a few years ago, but it turns out, this isn't really about Monaco but more about relationships. So off I go to share with my friends still living there that " Monaco is as dull as dishwater. " according to MN.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 28/02/2025 08:57

Cormoran · 28/02/2025 08:52

I opened this thread thinking I could contribute about life in Monaco as a 16 years old, albeit quite a few years ago, but it turns out, this isn't really about Monaco but more about relationships. So off I go to share with my friends still living there that " Monaco is as dull as dishwater. " according to MN.

What is like living in Monaco? I'm curious.

Squiillionaire · 01/03/2025 22:51

No. You need to look at higher education once they have finished school in Monaco if you go.either in France or UK. They would have to get into the international school in Monaco which might not be easy. . It will be a nightmare for them if they get in or not.. At their age you will ruin their education. . Your partner is only thinking of himself.

I lived in the south of France for years. I wouldn't live in Monaco if you paid me.

Quietnowplease · 01/03/2025 23:01

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 28/02/2025 08:57

What is like living in Monaco? I'm curious.

Show quote history

Me too.

Imbusytodaysorry · 01/03/2025 23:30

PinkChaires · 26/02/2025 09:16

I would give it time op, my dd in year 10 would've said absolutely not, but in year 11 she would've said yes please. Kids change very quickly. Have you sat them down and given them the reasons why?

The reasons why are tax avoidance. .
Surely this would have all been discussed with a 5 yr old and a 8 yr relationship.
I wouldn’t be following this man anywhere. Doesn’t sound too serious about the relationship.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/03/2025 23:32

I would take the boys out to look at schools there.
Assuming their dad isn't still around ? They might choose to live with him in the uk?

Astronautstar · 01/03/2025 23:32

Your partner moved away from you and his daughter to pay less tax?

I don't know where to start. I certainly wouldn't prioritise him over any child's needs.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/03/2025 23:34

Ps I would want to be married first before moving myself and the kids there - otherwise you're in a vulnerable position. If you move yourself and daughter there (can you even get a visa without being married?!) and you break up, he can kick you out but not give consent for daughter to leave Monaco. So you'll have to somehow pay for an expensive home in Monaco by yourself with no job there and be stuck there

Middlechild3 · 02/03/2025 00:04

Partner or Husband? You aren't really partners if he unilaterally decided, and moved to another country. Move countries for a spouse but not a boyfriend especially when it would uproot your children.

RogueFemale · 02/03/2025 00:11

@Enna0105 First of all, get married to your partner.

Then, by all means, move to Monaco with the twins. They may be reluctant, but they are only 15, haven't a clue about the wider world, and they'll love it in the end.

CautiousLurker01 · 02/03/2025 00:13

Enna0105 · 26/02/2025 09:21

The boys don't like change unfortunately so it's unlikely they will change their minds.

If they move to Monaco, they will no longer be eligible for home fees at university when they are 18. They will have to pay the overseas fees (currently around £27k per annum). They also won’t, I believe, be able to apply for student finance for either the tuition or maintenance so you have to find the money for the lot. Is your DP saving enough to cover the £150k each that you would need to find for their fees and accommodation costs for 3 years when they return?

If not (after all they are not his kids, so he probably doesn’t feel he has to pay for your kids uni fees) then you’d be ruining their lives by removing them from the UK… unless you happen to be independently wealthy and have a spare £300k knocking about ?

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/03/2025 04:02

At least you’re putting what your kids needs first. It would be a no for me and my dh is French so dd has a working knowledge of the language.

Ponderingwindow · 02/03/2025 04:11

Would your sons be able to stay once they become adults? What would their citizenship prospects look like? What kind of economic future would they be facing?

you are considering uprooting your older sons for a man who was willing to move away from his daughter. “Tax purposes” doesn’t justify living away from his child. It’s not like he is a doctor saving lives in a natural disaster or a solider defending innocent people. He needs to be there every day being a hands on parent. Why would you still consider this man your partner after he abandoned his child?

Bingbopboomboomboombopbam · 02/03/2025 04:34

If you choose to stay in the UK give them a deadline - “by so and so year I plan on relocating to x”. The reason I’m saying this is because my DD knows I want to move and keeps changing her plans, I ended up having to tell her I’ll be looking at moving within the next couple years and that’s it. She’s 20 now though, so very different situation.

IMO you’re not wrong about the decrease of safety and quality of life in the UK but to each their own.

daisypetula · 02/03/2025 04:41

So, let me get this straight:

  1. Money is more important to him than his own child
  2. Money is more important to him then love
  3. He doesn't care about you enough to stay in this country for two more years
  4. He'd have you move abroad when you twins are at the most important stage of their education
  5. He doesn't care that they'd not have their mother there as they move out of the family home and go to university, where would they go in the holidays ?

Why are you even considering this ? No man is worth more than your children

DiggieToe · 02/03/2025 04:49

A lot of envy in these replies OP - ignore them.

I do think you should stay in the UK at least until your twins are 18 and at university or have started work. You can always fly to and from Monaco.

daisypetula · 02/03/2025 05:03

No envy here. I'd not swap my house and garden for high rise living in a cramped apartment in a tourist trap stuck in the corner of another country.

And yes, I have been to Monaco. Lovely to visit but I wouldn't live there.

MooFroo · 02/03/2025 05:47

Tax avoidance and tax efficiency are different things! An increasing number of high earners are leaving the UK due to the tax changes - I’m not a high earner but can understand why so many are moving to countries who offer them a better quality of life and let them keep more of the money they earn.

NattyTurtle59 · 02/03/2025 06:16

OP I have no advice, other than that you should do what you think is best.

MN is very hot on children being put above everyone else in life, and parents shouldn't be allowed to have a life of their own until the kids have grown up (often not until 25 in MNland!). In the real world things are very different.

BlondiePortz · 02/03/2025 06:18

NattyTurtle59 · 02/03/2025 06:16

OP I have no advice, other than that you should do what you think is best.

MN is very hot on children being put above everyone else in life, and parents shouldn't be allowed to have a life of their own until the kids have grown up (often not until 25 in MNland!). In the real world things are very different.

Yeah it is perfectly reasonable to just uproot kids and move them to another country sounds totally fair on the children

TheaBrandt1 · 02/03/2025 06:18

Odd age to move away. Can’t you wait two years?

TheaBrandt1 · 02/03/2025 06:21

Natty you sound like a melodramatic teen yourself. No one is saying the op shouldn’t “have a life of her own” but most teenagers would absolutely hate this. Mine would. They are on the cusp of leaving home. And it would
cock up their university funding position.

Pastpresentt · 02/03/2025 06:27

Your partner values money (tax evasion) over family. If you do move to Monaco, wait until your sons are at university (if they want to go). If you do move, can they stay with their dad during the holidays?