When should we move to the US?

[Homeymum2]

Cross posted on education

Option A:

DD1 finish her year 9- start American 4 year high school on the normal US timetable (1 school change)
DD2 does year 7 here - 2 years of American middle school followed by 4 years of American high school?

Disadvantage falls to DD2 with 3 school changes as she is currently y6.

Option B:
DD1 continues at her current high school thru year 11 and joins American HS instead of 6th form

Disadvantages mostly to DD1 socially kids have been together 2 years she's a late joiner
She will have completed GCSEs for no reason? (Or will these still be excellent points for uni applications? Likely a US university but we would support her application to UK universities if she wanted to come back here)

DD2 joins American HS at start of 4 year program only has to change school 2 times instead of 3.

@Clymene strong opinions. Plenty do move for a whole variety of factors which are individual to the family. Who knows there maybe other factors behind the move not mentioned.

Like I mentioned upthread. It’s not necessarily academic suicide. Yes it’s certainly been trickier for the one I moved post GCSEs but he also has SEN. He’s switched back to online A levels and hoping to study physics at Uni. Not ideal but not damaging either. There so also a lot to be gained by moving. Each has grown or been challenged in different ways.

8th grader may actually do much better in this system as it turns out.

Like also said another family I know moved ot the US at same time with same age kids and their kids - although small bumps on the road- are also doing fine.

It’s not black and white. It can and does work. But it just may not be plain sailing either. But since the OP is American she’ll have a better grip on the system already.

It's not an opinion @acapulco - it's a fact.

But of course I wish the OP and her family well and recognise that sometimes these things are not within our control.

I'm also American and I think Option A is absolutely better if you think DD will want to go to university in the US

I am British but went to a US University. I did GCSEs in UK and got accepted into uni with just those. I did do an American high school diploma to fill my time between 16-18, but I'd already been accepted into uni, I just thought I was too young to go at 16. This was the 80's though, so may have changed.

I don't normally post on this board but this thread caught my eye on "Active". I'm responding not as a parent but as a former "serial expat" child who bounced around countries every 1-3 years growing up. For reference, I have UK and US and one other citizenship.

I agree with the "best not to move teens" comments; in my and my family's experience the WORST time to move is ages 12-16. Sometimes, though, it happens. I moved to the USA from the UK at 15 and in Massachusetts, simply graduating from a high school in the state let me qualify for in-state rates for university. A friend (UK citizen only) moved from the UK just in time to start her senior year of high school in the USA and she graduated, and was able to get local fees and a student visa to study at the University of Massachusetts. This is NOT the case in all states, so check!

US citizenship will make it easier for your children to go to university (college) in the USA. Be aware that IN the UK, even if your children had UK citizenship, they would be considered "foreign" for university applications and fees if they did not live in the UK for the full three years immediately prior to matriculation. If money is not an issue and you think one or both would want to go back and you would pay foreign student rates, it becomes trickier: you're best off in the US with a high school that offers an International Baccalaureate (IB) programme, which the UK will recognise. UK unis may also, in some cases, recognise "Advance Placement" (AP) credits from a standard US public school, but that's on a case by case basis and usually applies once the individual has been accepted, not as part of the admissions decision.

I understand you're concerned about your younger daughter and that's not wrong (although I don't understand how she'd be switching schools 3x - it seems like only twice and perhaps only once if you move somewhere in the USA with an integrated Junior/Senior High School) but the clock is ticking on the older daughter's opportunities and choices. Please look closely are carefully at the options for her ASAP and definitely before you decide.

Option A. Moving during high school is really difficult, especially with the curriculum change. And socially 9th grade is an easier time to break in as there will be students from other middle schools, new friend groups forming, new clubs and activities. If she starts in 11th, she'll really only have that year to get into extracurriculars for her applications.

Switching from middle school to high school in the same place isn't nearly as big a deal because unless you're in a city with lots of choice programs, their friends from middle school will be going on to high school with them. So even though new groups will form, there will be a big element of familiarity that's not at all like moving to a new place.

Option A, move the sooner the better. If the older one struggles to settle there is some time for adjustment, if she only has the last two years theres not much wriggle room.

For context I've just moved countries with a 13 and 16 year old. We are 'serial expats' so as a family we know the drill but teenagers are significantly harder. One has flown, honestly it's really been the making of him in terms of new environment. For the other it's been the hardest time of our family's life, she has struggling socially and educationally in the first half term, slightly picking up academically now but still very challenged socially. We didn't decide on the move lightly (there were many factors involved) and even with all the preparations it's so tough.

So IMO if you can stay, stay - especially if you already have concerns about one child or they are reluctant to move. If for a multitude of reasons you need to move before the youngest finishes school, then go as soon as you can to let everyone time to settle before exams/Uni applications. And if you do go I suggest looking for help or thinking about how to best position and prepare your kids for it.

I would absolutely go with scenario 1.

Everyone is new in high school, and second DC will make friends in middle school.

It would be difficult for DC1 to hit the ground running in an American high school with only one or two years remaining of the cycle. This is because many schools offer specific maths, science and humanities tracks over the four year cycle, and unless GCSE subjects and levels dovetailed seamlessly with 11th or 12th courses in high school there would be a risk of needing catch up classes.

Encourage your children to play a sport or two, and to take part in performing arts opportunities - musicals, plays, choirs, glee club, instrumental performance. American middle schools and high schools usually have excellent facilities (especially in prosperous suburbs of major cities) across all areas of interest for extra curriculars. It's a great way to make friends and integrate.

On the topic of the 4 year cycle, American schools teach sciences sequentially, one year at a time, unlike the GCSE combined science course. It is a beast to mesh those. I don't believe maths is taught in quite the same sequence either, though I would need to check topic lists to be sure. It would really be best to come in earlier.

Yes, most high schools have a sequence to mathematics topics, but with scope for switching down and also making up ground in summer school.

There is a move toward a more integrated math curriculum in my local HS, following local trends in other leading high schools, but the material and standards won't be ready for another couple of years.

We are in the US; of my three kids one is currently in 9th grade and one in 6th. We actually moved house 18 months ago and transferred the kids into a new school district. So I have some experience with moving schools!

I would recommend your first option; ensuring that your older child starts high school in grade 9. I think starting a new school in her junior year could be tricky, particularly when it comes to building on previous classes (and college admissions and figuring out class equivalency).

Our 9th grader is very socially introverted and our big debate was whether to transfer her into a new 6-8 middle school in 8th grade, knowing that she would be the new kids among a population that had already been together for two. As it happens, COVID actually negated that concern as the kids had been home for so long that the existing social ties had been weakened. So when she started high school a few months ago she knew a few people and it was a true "fresh start".

Our son had an even bigger hurdle in that he was joining a class in 5th grade who'd been together for five years (less COVID time) but even that wasn't an issue. Being the new kid actually gave him a fair amount of "social cache" and the kids in his year were incredibly eager to be his friend. He started middle school this year with that cushion of having a year in district before the big move to middle school.

To add to that...for most of their schooling my kids had been in catholic school. We made the decision for the 2020/2021 school year to put them into our local public school. So all of my kids changed. Of course, COVID hit and then George Floyd was murdered about 2 miles from our house. COVID really highlighted the massive (and up to then, unforeseen) limitations of our public schools, and the civil unrest in our city made us feel unsafe. So we left the city and headed to the suburbs. Long story short - my oldest went to 2 different schools in 3 years. My middle and youngest went to 3 different schools in 3 years (city catholic - city public - suburban public). I was consumed with anxiety about what we were doing to our kids and how damaging the upheaval was, particularly as we were moving away from something as opposed to towards something, if that makes sense. But they have all adapted beautifully and each has said to me, independently, how pleased they are to have ended up where they are.

Sorry, that was an essay! But I spent many a sleepless night figuring out all the permutations of moving/open enrolling, etc. Happy to answer any questions you might have!

TL: DR Move sooner rather than later and don't lose sleep over multiple changes for your youngest!

Option A, go asap and get both used to the US school system. I have lived in both countries (am British) for many years.

I'm a Brit living in the US and I'm a teacher. I would go with Option A. If you think you're going to move it will be hanging over you. Once you've decided to go, just rip the band aid off. Your older DD will be able to do AP classes from her sophomore year if she wants. Every school district I've encountered mixed all the classes up for each grade in middle school, so your younger DD will be with a group of kids who are new to each other.

For a UK college, you'll have to pay foreign student fees btw, so brace yourselves for that!

In general I would say if you are definitely moving both kids back, the sooner you go the better off they will be. Maintaining friendships from before adulthood across continents happens sometimes, but it’s pretty rare. The more time they have to develop friendships in the US, the better off they are likely to be (obviously there are always exceptions, but unless there are some exceptional circumstances it’s impossible to know if you fall into the exceptions and you increase your chances of a better outcome by playing the regular odds.

One thing I wondered about your question, though, is with option B, would DD1 be able to graduate at whatever high school she would attend in the US?

My understanding is that graduating high school in the US requires passing a certain number of classes in different subjects over the course of the 4 years. If DD 1 is entering in the Junior year, her GCSEs from the UK probably won’t translate well to the classes she needs under her belt from her freshman and sophomore high school years in order to graduate. Are there ways around that?

Second this. Another serial expat child here. Relocation is tough for a teenager. I know quite a few people in my industry work aboard while leaving their family behind.
If you really have to move, option A is better. If possible, can you stay behind with the kids?