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Living overseas

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Original poster

talk to me about having your baby back in the UK

123 replies

PrincessSnowLife · 01/12/2007 07:56

How many of you have gone home to the UK to have your babies? And if so, how do you go about that?

I just know I would feel so much more relaxed and safe to be having another baby back at home rather than here. For so many reasons. I don't know any expats here to run this by, or to find out any birth stories. Obviously, women have babies all the time and I haven't heard of anything going wrong for anyone in the time I've been here. But something in me says that I would much rather be at home for another birth.

Paying for a private birth in the UK is not an option. So I'm guessing that I would have to move back for a while to be registered with the NHS again? Anyone know how these thing work? Any experiences?

I'm not pregnant btw. Just that we would actually love another LO now but it feels like there is too much stacked against us for it to be that realistic. So I'm thinking that if I at least know whether or not I can go back to the UK for a birth, then we can take it from there.

I rambled, didn't I?

OP posts:
chocchipchristmascake · 01/12/2007 20:51

Where are you living?

moondog · 01/12/2007 20:54

Princess,another Welsh MNer cmae home to have her baby. Turned up about 1 month before the birth. No problem at all.
(Bizarrely,I realised that her sister lives in my village and we are great mates!)

morocco · 01/12/2007 20:56

and who do you work for? do you have medical insurance already that might cover you for the uk?
quite honestly I don't know anyone that was asked to pay when they came back to the uk. one person i know flew back for all her antenatal appointments and never even told them she actually lived abroad!! another came back for the last few months but she had a complicated pregnancy so she had to. you've also (of course) got to think about how long you would be apart from your partner and when he would fly back - to be at the birth? but it's entirely feasible.
I had mine abroad tho!

Original poster
PrincessSnowLife · 01/12/2007 21:11

really, moondog? that's interesting... that simple? [hopeful]

We work for ourselves, morocco, and in fact the system here is so underdeveloped (for legal and social positioning of foreign residents) and consequently expensive (long story ) that for the most part we exist outside of it, using our 90 day visa repeatedly like most other foreigners here. So the reality is that we have no real status and pay-as-we-go (so to speak) for medical care. Having said that, an awful lot of people born here do the same regardless, because they can't afford the national insurance contributions (which gets you little health-wise) or they are working 'black' and their employers don't pay those contributions.

I'm very aware that I am sounding very negative but it is only the reality, not a complaint.

OP posts:
Original poster
PrincessSnowLife · 01/12/2007 21:12

those are good points, morocco, and ones we have thought about a lot

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pukkapatch · 01/12/2007 21:14

my sister refused to have a baby in the uk. much safer having a baby in pakistan.

morocco · 01/12/2007 21:17

not statistically tho surely pukkapatch, sorry to nit pick

moondog · 01/12/2007 21:21

Yes Princess.
I got the whole story.She just slotted back in at that stage and went back home when she felt strong enough.
I've lived in loads of different places too (Turkey,France,Russia amongst others) and have known lots of women do the same.

I did it myself really as I left Turkey at 7 mths pregnant, had the baby and went back.(I was coming and going a lot in pregnancy thoguh.) Bear in mind most airlines wont let yuo fly after 32 weeks.

morocco · 01/12/2007 21:21

dying to know where you are - any clues?

i'm fairly sure you would be able to join the nhs system easily and for free. mind you, it took me over a month to get a referral to a midwife when i came back for a holiday and started with pre eclampsia but i think the gp forgot to refer me . you might have to fly in disguise, some airlines won't let you fly later on in pregnancy, if you do want to come back to the uk later on. baggy jumpers do the trick

pukkapatch · 01/12/2007 21:24

no, not statistically of course.
but, mrsa infested nhs hospital versus clean private hospital?
doctors appointments when you want them, versus nhs ones. etc etc etc

moondog · 01/12/2007 21:25

She is in Bosnia (dont think it's a secret-has been mentioned on MN beofre)

expatinscotland · 01/12/2007 21:33

i think i'd pay for private care in France before i came back to the UK, tbh.

but then again, it depends on where in the UK she's headed.

if it's some place with dire maternity services, then i'd definitely go elsewhere where the private care is cheaper than the UK.

some trusts get arsey if you tell them you've been abroad a while.

so i'd just use someone's address and say you just moved from there if they ask.

nuru · 01/12/2007 21:35

Sorry to put a downer on this, but I found myself in a potentially nightmare situation when I had dd1 in 2003.
we lived in India and I planned to come back to UK at 28 weeks to have baby and then go back to India when baby about 3 months old. I was back in UK for an unplanned visit at around 12 weeks pregnant and decided I might as well get myself booked in etc. I foolishly (in retrospect) told the midwife my plans, never imagining that there would be any problem - I assumed that as I am British, paid a bit of NI,etc etc I was entitled to NHS care. But that's not the case and they sent me a letter which arrived the day I was due to go back to India, congratulating me on my pregnancy but warning me that I would have to pay for the privelige of the delivery etc. here!!! Cue hormonal panicking pregnant woman in tears on the phone to the 'Overseas Visitor Liaison Officer'. Being British, previously working for the NHS and so on had no bearing on the situation - it is current and intended residency that counts. So, to cut a long story short, I came back to UK at 28 weeks and blatantly lied to everyone I came across that we were planning to settle here permanently (even though we weren't planning to at that time). Managed to scrape through unnoticed, but did cause quite a bit of unexpected stress.
I think local health trusts are becoming hotter on this (they have posters up about it all over our trust premises now), and it may be worth thinking through carefully what and how much you tell the health professionals you deal with

expatinscotland · 01/12/2007 21:37

snap, nuru!

i wouldn't let on that i'd been abroad and tell them i moved from another area - like i said, use a relative's address - if they ask.

Original poster
PrincessSnowLife · 01/12/2007 21:45

Moondog's right. Bosnia. Sorry, forgot to answer CCCC's question.

good advice nuru
and thanks for sharing
the 'move' back during pregnancy sounds like a good way to get around it, if it is ok to say that

I had complications during my first birth and ended up ECS and I guess that is what is making me extra cautious and worried. And it has made us put if off again and again since moving here.

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pukkapatch · 01/12/2007 21:49

o yes, dsis had to shell out 150 pounds for a visit with midwife whilst she was here on holiday. this had nothing to do with her decision not to have the baby in the uk, but was the final seal over which i could not argue. (i wanted her to have baby here!)
they will know you are living abroad if your dh is living abroad as he is your next of kin.

nuru · 01/12/2007 21:52

I was staying with my parents, so just put dh down as living there too - he actually came over 3 weeks before the due date.

Original poster
PrincessSnowLife · 01/12/2007 21:58

that should give me plenty of time to arrange a dog and chicken sitter then

seriously though, this is something that will have to be given lots of thought, planning and research if we do decide to go for it... unlike DS who was utterly unplanned

pukkapatch, was your sister visiting the uk or pakistan?

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morocco · 01/12/2007 22:12

how about approaching things as my friend did and flying back for the antenatal appts using a friend/family address? that way you are never 'outside' the system so to speak. were you hoping for vbac or el cs?

Original poster
PrincessSnowLife · 01/12/2007 22:52

vbac, definitely

but I have to say that it does scare me to be trying to 'beat the system'. If we are shown in the UK as having moved abroad (i.e. with tax office, child benefit, nhs etc etc) wouldn't it eventually come to light that things are not as they seem?

Having lived here 18+ months, the UK system seems so much more sophisticated than it did when I lived there!!

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nuru · 01/12/2007 23:05

it doesn't matter so much that you have been living abroad - you can come with the intention of settling in UK and you would then be entitled to NHS care. I think they ask where you plan to be for the next 12 months, or something like that. So we said we were planning to settle here, even though we weren't intending to (ended up having to anyway due to dd's health needs, but that's another story!!)

Original poster
PrincessSnowLife · 01/12/2007 23:07

I see. Did you have school age kids when you made that move, nuru?

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jetson · 01/12/2007 23:11

I was in West Indies when I got pregnant but I came back at about five months and registered at my Mum's local doctors giving my Mums address. Don't mention you aren't a permenant resident in the UK or they may boot you off the NHS. Quite a few ex pats I know in Caribbean would pop back to UK for medical treatment.

SantaClausFrau · 01/12/2007 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PrincessSnowLife · 01/12/2007 23:16

lol califrau
hope he had his change ready for the bucket just in case!

(Thing is, I birthed my first in England!!!! Ssssshhhhhhh, don't tell!!!!!!!!)

Maybe I feel a need to make up for that

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