talk to me about having your baby back in the UK

[PrincessSnowLife]

How many of you have gone home to the UK to have your babies? And if so, how do you go about that?

I just know I would feel so much more relaxed and safe to be having another baby back at home rather than here. For so many reasons. I don't know any expats here to run this by, or to find out any birth stories. Obviously, women have babies all the time and I haven't heard of anything going wrong for anyone in the time I've been here. But something in me says that I would much rather be at home for another birth.

Paying for a private birth in the UK is not an option. So I'm guessing that I would have to move back for a while to be registered with the NHS again? Anyone know how these thing work? Any experiences?

I'm not pregnant btw. Just that we would actually love another LO now but it feels like there is too much stacked against us for it to be that realistic. So I'm thinking that if I at least know whether or not I can go back to the UK for a birth, then we can take it from there.

I rambled, didn't I?

do you flit for longer than 90 days, moondog?
Only answer if you want to obviously! This is public after all. I'm just trying to see if our situations are comparable, and if I can replicate your way of doing things. As far as we can tell now, both the UK and BiH systems seem to have finally understood who/what/where we are (after 18 months and a lot of frustrating phonecalls/letters on our part!!).

Was I away longer than 90 days or in Wales longer than 90 days?
Both actually.

Os wyt ti eisiau mwy o wybodaeth ac efallai cyfle i siarad efo Cymraes eraill a wnaeth wneud hyn o Ffrainc, e bostio fi. [email protected]

PSL, sorry, I didn't get to ask any probing Q's yesterday. I had a filthy headache and everyone was annoying me muchly so I came home and went to bed.

that's ok suedonim. sorry to hear about your headache. Sounds like you did the right tthing though!

moondog - diolch yn fawr, fe wna i dy ebostio di yn y dyddiau nesaf

I've emailed you moondog. Kind of vague questions but if anything else comes to mind, can I ask again? Would be interesting to hear what your friend did.

We remembered the other day that we got talking with an american in sarajevo a couple of years ago and she had gone to austria (or somewhere similar in western Europe) to have her baby privately. Sadly out of the question for us, cost wise, but at least we have one example of how foreigners go about it here.

Another logical step will be for me to have a chat with some of the mothers I know here about the facilities available. Also some doctors that I have started to teach may be able to offer me some tips on using the system here. Trouble is - the gossip machine! Within a few days everyone will be asking me if I am pregnant!!! Ah well, it's the price to pay for some genuine information.

so far I have found out that fathers are very rarely allowed to be with the mothers during any stage of delivery (a hygiene thing) and that if a CS is required people have to go to another town (an hour away, and more in winter). I'm not encouraged.

I came back to have the baby - I'd only been away a few years and still paying NI so was still registered with the NHS. But I have stayed on in England since having the baby so the admin situation was different.

Come back EARLY - it takes forever to get into the midwife system - I never managed it and ended up begging a consultant at his office to give me an ultrasound at 37 weeks. He did - said the baby had stopped moving, and induced me that day! I shudder to think what would have happened if I'd waited to get seen my a midwife.

blimey oranges, that is scary!! Very glad it worked out ok for you.

But many thanks for your post. It's exactly the type of thing I was looking for - just to know other people's experiences. I didn't actually know that you could choose to continue making NI contributions whilst living and/or working abroad. We've informed NI and everyone else over there that we have moved so they should have taken us out of the system by now .

When you say early, how early is that?

Before 24 weeks if you can - it takes about 6 weeks to get you into the system, and you really want someone to check you regularly after 30 weeks.

Hi PrincessSnowlife!!!

I was surfing the net, joined thsi forum and looking for the very information you are looking for!!

Guess what? I am also in Bosnia!!!
I need to act fast. I am with child. LOL

are you kidding me???????????????
gdje si ti????????

Not kidding you at all. No can't speak Bosniac yet - have not started classes yet! I know - I need to get on with it though!!
soon.
Still struggle at the market - but I get by! I am very early in pregnancy though but know I need to act quickly to get me a midwife. Which is why I have been so busy researching this very matter!!

I am still registered with a doctor their though - so I am hoping I can tell a white lie ans slip back on.

I'm finding this very difficult to get my head around!! The coincidence of it... and then you finding this particular thread. Oh, my head hurts!!!
So where are you (gdje si ti?)? How long have you been here? How do you like it? Is this your first dc?

Yep - Very first child. Live in Sarajevo, almost center actually. Been here since August.

Where are you?

The coincidence indeed!! But I guess i was searching. I want to go to UK and my DH wants that too but also suggested I look up on giving birth in Sarajevo - which I absolutely dread the thought of!!!! Esp. with language barrier!!

And I found the thread! LOL

It's okay.....I guess. But oh so boring - what is there really to do? The food sucks methinks apart from a few nice ones.

Congratulations! A very exciting time!

We're out in the sticks, hence the shock of someone else in a similar position. No other foreigners around here! Are you and/or your DH working in Sarajevo then? If so, might be worth seeing what you are entitled to through work?

If you think Sarajevo is boring, you'd hate it here!! The most exciting thing that happened this week was that one of our neighbours sold his calf . Ah, but we love it really, it's the lifestyle we wanted, so we don't complain.

Ah, the food. Oily, isn't it! And meaty! But if you find a good burek house, you will be hooked, trust me!

Haven't ventured out much yet - we did take a walk recently a little out but thats about it. Will maybe go out into Dubrovnik etc or nearby for Xmas.

DH works, can't find me a job yet. And he is not British. I've not quite adopted to the snow yet maybe. Actually I may have like it better in the sticks - maybe lovely neighbours makes it worth it.

Have found a little food joint that I adore - I'll stick to it - for now. ;) Had a few bureks - not sure -I've found the "right" one yet though.....!

Sounds like you've not been here long then. How long are you planning to stay?

Dubrovnik is pretty, nicer climate too for this time of year. We've got lots of relatives coming over for Christmas, so it'll be busy enough. DS will get spolit rotten of course.

You have snow over there now??

oh, and you'll have to tell me if I am asking too many questions! I think I am becoming very bosnian!!

No no - not too many at all!! Been here since August this year.

No snow here in Sarajevo now...

Late October and about 2 weeks ago was horrid snow! We'll be here a while - posting is about 4 years on paper - there is the opt out early option after 2 years if we can't hack it here though....

I see. Yes, we got that snow too but it's gone freakily spring-like now, hasn't it! It was looking like a hard winter up until then. Winter is definitely not my time of year, and I really hate driving in the snow. It's the bosnian summers that I love. Sigh.

Are there many brits over there? Have you been able to meet other foreigners? Maybe someone who could recommend a good doctor? It may also be worth exploring your entitlements through your DH's job. I'll keep posting anything I find out on here for you. Do you still have somewhere back in the UK you can go to if you do decide to have the baby at home?

Have you got many books on pregnancy, or have you found any websites? I remember I read anything I could find when I was pregnant with DS!

Well, I'm off to bed now. It has been a very pleasant surprise 'bumping' in to you! DH won't believe this when I tell him!

Here's a very important bosnian word for you: BUJRUM! (Pronounced booyroom). If someone tells you that you have bujrum, it means that you have an open welcome to always be a guest at their house. And because we are in Bosnia, I am offering you bujrum . Come and enjoy the view any time!

Thank You!! I might just take you up on that!!

If you ever venture into my neck of the city, BUJRUM!!

have not quite figure out this forum yet and how it works for contact, but I guess I can check the thread - LOL

Hello again!

Many thanks for the bujrum. I don't go to Sarajevo much but next time I do, it'd be really nice to meet you and go for coffee. Then I can see with my own eyes that there really is another MNetter in Bosnia!! We live near Bugojno, btw. About 50 mins from Travnik.

Hi everyone a crucial point that hasn't been mentioned yet is how long you have been living outside the UK for - if it's less than 5 years, you're fine and can just re-register once you get back.
DH and I have lived in Zambia (we're both British) since 2004. DS was born in London (NHS) in June 2006, I am now pregnant again and will be having this one in Worcs/Gloucs in May 08. Please CAT me or email to eltrlzambia at yahoo dot co dot uk for more info!
PS The rules about citizenship do not require baby to be born in the UK as long as at least one parent is a British citizen, you can register the baby's birth at the Embassy/High Commission and they will also do a British passport.

Oh Princess - I've been hearing about Travnki that it is nice! We intend to give it a visit!

@ ZamMummy - sending you a mail now

ZamMummy - your information on British Citizenship are not quite correct. If a child is born abroad, to be British, one of its parents has to be British other than by descent - ie by birth, naturalisation or registration. If you are British youself by descent (ie born overseas) then your child may not be British.

This happened to a couple of friends of mine, who were very surprised to discover that their child was of a different nationality to the two of them!

Am I the only one who thinks it is a bit to emigrate but to come back to the UK and use the NHS to give birth when you have given up paying NI contributions in UK? I did come back from Romania to give birth to mine, but was paying full class one contributions at the time and my employer had to write an official letter to my GP stating that this was the case before they would take me on.