Is living abroad living up to ur expectations ???

[michymama]

Hi, I've always wanted to live in Italy since I was a kid. We've been in sicily now for 6 years and I'm some what disillusioned. I'm tired of hearing about all the coruption and having to live with it too !!! I still love living here and want to stay but sometimes feel so fed up with having to "know" people to get anything !!
Does anybody else every feel like this ?? Is the UK such a great place as I sometimes imagine, or see when I visit ?? Any Italians who have moved to UK how do u view Italy ??

I think any place has its drawbacks michymama. You're lucky if the place you live in has negative aspects that don't bother you personally TOO much IYSWIM.

I think to a certain extent the grass is always greener - because lots of places have their attractions and it's very easy from a distance to see those attractions and not see (or perceive) the downside.

There are wonderful places to live in in England (I don't know about Wales or Scotland) and there are also really grim, horrible places.

What is universal is that money buys comfort, wherever you are (though the relative cost of living varies) and "knowing people" always makes life easier.

I agree with Anna, the UK CAN be a great place to live, given the right circumstances.

Think you're out of the honeymoon stage now and the negative sides to life in Sicily, the aspects that clash most with your own nature are becoming more and more obvious too.

People may not believe this but I did actually like Berlin when I first came here too!

the UK is certainly a great place to visit. But as for standard of living, where I live in Belgium is pleasant enough. Good schools without having to pay; good hospitals and doctors; nice food(gets boring after a while. Everyone cycles; teenagers belong to the scouts and enjoy it; it's ideal for bringing up children.

But at some point living abroad does become 'normal life' and there are irritations.

SSSandy2 - and you may love it again one day .

I fell completely out of love with Paris after having been here for years and absolutely hated it and had to go away for a while (ended up being two years...) and I was really worried about coming back.

But I'm getting quite reconciled to it again and beginning to see all the great sides, and that's also because I'm managing it better, making more considered choices and not letting other people's opinions ever get in the way of my own.

strugggling with austria

and the attitudes and the black and white of everything

We've had two stints in the US, totalling six years. Although we enjoyed it, there were times when it was hard going (and this is without major language barriers). We are so much more comfortable in the UK, warts and all.

The key thing as an expat is to strive for the best of both worlds. Adopt what is better about your new country and keep what is good about the UK.

what sort of attitudes cupcake?

Non Anna! I don't think so! I'm even back to crossing at red lights again, you know, I have retired so completely back into my ex-pat bubble these days and notice as little as possible that I am where I am IYSWIM. I think Berlin and I are due for a divorce

I thought I'd divorced Paris . I didn't set foot in the place for 18 months...

find people are blinkered

and the this is how we do it attitude cuts

So I suppose it turned out to be a trial separation . I did have a bit of counselling, though, to get through and out the other side

I thik I'm just fed up with the level of corruption. EG where we live we are not connected to the water mains supply. We have a tank in our garden that a lorry fills up. Now we pay our taxes to the local town and they have a lorry which is supposed to supply the main town and our little village. To fill up the tank with the council costs 10 euro to do it priavtely costs 40 euro. We have been trying to get the council to deliver us water since August !!!!! I can't afford 40 euro at the mo but do they care ????
This has always been a problem but along with verything else (ie whats happening in italian government at the mo) I just think What ?????? where am I living ???

Ah but Anna, Paris can handle you having the odd fling. I'm not sure that Berlin is so forgiving.

yes michymama the corruption would bug me too - enormously after a time. I can imagine it must be hell when you try building a house or setting up a business too. Don't think I could face it. Is your dh Italian?

michymama - yes, that sounds grim .

I complain about the services here in Paris (some things are positively antiquated, like having a vaccination or a smear test... the shopping is positively medieval...) but we have basic services like water without any problems.

I hear you Michy..Spain is similar on the corruption front.It drives me MAD sometimes but overall I'm happy with things here.
I think you have to weigh up the advantages/disadvantages of both places and see what's higher on your priority list. For example weather is really important to me, I have a tendency to get low in miserable weather (hence moving from UK).
SO many people I know go back to the UK and then are unhappy again there too...sometimes I just think it's the memories you had of old times, which are always better when they are memories IFKWIM!

SSSandy 2 - yes my dh is italian but lived in uk for 7 years. He forgot about the down side of things here but he too is getting fed up. He's quite political and is getting frustrated about the current political situation here. He's also started a blog ( we live in a very underdeveloped area that is actually one of the biggest archeological parks in europe)and has now learned that blogs may become controlled in Italy.
Lokka - agree with you on the weather, although its bloody cold here today !!
I think I'm just having winter blues !!

cold here too..at least the skies are blue and the sun's shining though!

It's easy to see only the good sides of life in the UK on short visits. The warts only show when you're there living, working, buying property, educating your children etc etc.

A friend asked me the other day if I'd go back to the UK if I found myself alone. My first instinct was to say a definite YES, but thinking about it, moving back wouldn't be without regrets. There are things that drive me round the bend about France, but just as many (totally different) things rattle me when I'm in the UK.

I did not really have great expectations when I moved to Germany as I only intended staying for a year as an aupair.

There are some things that irritate me, but on the whole I am happy here. Sometimes I think about living in UK (DH thought about applying for a job in England but it did not happen). I think I would go mad with the NHS for one, we moan here about the health care but it is fab compared to UK.

I get annoyed at the attitude to working mums here, very difficult to work as childcare is impossible to find. And as a selfemployed English teacher, I pay so much tax, health insurance etc that I might as well not work at all. It is all very complicated sometimes.

Thankfully there is no corruption here, well not that affects us in daily life. I can imagine that puts a strain on you. I read about the blog thing, completely crazy.

Don't know about you Belgo but I find living in Belgium almost too easy sometimes. It's so civilised once you have children: had to see my paediatrician yesterday and got an appointment within 30 minutes of ringing, it's a 3 minute drive away and I waited for 4.5 minutes!! Not sure I would want to be here unless I'd settled down though as it can sometimes be a bit too white, a bit too middle class and I work with a youngish bloke who think it's adventurous to live in Antwerp and work in Brussels! I love the emphasis on family and traditional simple pleasures though and the fact that Christmas (and life in general) is not as commercial as in the UK.

I've also wanted to live in Italy Michymama ... but we have many Italian friends who have moved to Belgium because of the unemployment situation - they just can't find a job back home. So would be v. interested to hear what others say about it ...

yes that's true countinghtegreyhairs. If you are white and middle class Belgium is a very easy country to live in.

Countingthegreyhairs, you obviously don't live in the same part of Belgium as I do if you find it too white and middle-class! There is (unfortunately) a lot of poverty in central Brussels and even the relatively well-off road where I live has a wide mix of incomes. As for race, there are probably more people of African origin than Europeans in my commune; and the next-door commune has more Arabs... Of course, if you live in rural Flanders or Wallonia, I can see where you're coming from!
Totally agree with you and belgo re health care, "old fashioned" family values etc.

3rd time lucky with this posting. Already tried twice and since MN went all funny it got lost somewhere in cyberspace!

Can I ask a related question?

Those of you living overseas, who is integrated in the local community, and who is more involved in the expat community?

Do you feel this has any bearing on how happy / settled you feel?

Hope this works this time!