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Living overseas

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Original poster

Fuckity bye then Singapore

118 replies

fbsg · 10/07/2018 07:59

We are going home, woohoo!

I want to do a facebook post to tell everyone we’re on our way back, but whenever I start composing one, instead of the super gushy ones I’ve seen others do, ‘what a wonderful adventure, I’m going to miss our SG family sooooo much’ etc., I just want to say, ‘fuckity bye Singapore!’

And that would probably be a bit offensive to the people I have on FB from my time here, so I’m just going to have stick to saying it here instead...

OP posts:
AsAProfessionalFekko · 10/07/2018 08:04

Howong have you got to go? Have to a checklist of things to do before you leave? I'm guessing its not 'visit our favourite restaurant one last time' but marching into to the local bakery and say 'you've always been a miserable cow when I shop here and your bread sucks!'

Hillstreamloach · 10/07/2018 08:04

Grin what did you hate about Singapore?

French2019 · 10/07/2018 08:06

How long have you been away? Just be prepared for the fact that coming home can be difficult too - reverse culture shock is a real thing!

AsAProfessionalFekko · 10/07/2018 08:06

Mum didn't like it much but dad did. I believe she didnt like the heat and lack of decent knicker department in the m&s.

Original poster
fbsg · 10/07/2018 08:08

The local bakery was actually lovely, and when we told them we were leaving they gave my dc cookies and a lovely goodbye note Blush

I have just been lonely and bored and miserable. I haven’t done well with the expat culture. The dc have had lots of lovely goodbyes from friends amd DH had a great send off from work, but precisely zero people give a shit that I am leaving.

OP posts:
Original poster
fbsg · 10/07/2018 08:09

Only been here two years. Hoping the return culture shock won’t be too bad.

OP posts:
BreadTalk · 10/07/2018 08:14

Did you do the whole maid thing? I was there for two years too and couldn't wait to leave. Loathed other expats, mostly. Wasn't interested in socialising with them. Apart from the older places like China Town, Emerald Hill and Haji Lane, I found it intensely dull as well.
Welcome back to the UK! The heatwave should help the transition!

Original poster
fbsg · 10/07/2018 08:15

I really did try not to be lonely and bored and miserable, in case anyone thinks that last post was a bit pathetic. I staved off sitting on the sofa and crying all day by doing all the hobbies. But hobbies can only do so much.

OP posts:
Original poster
fbsg · 10/07/2018 08:15

No, no helper. That was one part of the culture I was never comfortable with.

OP posts:
Hillstreamloach · 10/07/2018 08:17

Dont feel bad you didnt like it, look at it this way you will be really happy to be back.

Hideandgo · 10/07/2018 08:17

Wow breadtalk, you really didn’t make the most of that opportunity. And that’s an awful attitude about other expats. What did you think, that you were the only nice one there?

BreadTalk · 10/07/2018 08:19

We didn't either. But it was awful watching expats go from saying they'd never have one, to then having a cleaner, to then having a live in helper because "that's just what you do here"!

BreadTalk · 10/07/2018 08:20

Course not Hideandgo. I just found the majority were not on my wavelength at all. I made some nice friends though.

ReturnofSaturn · 10/07/2018 08:22

Hi OP. Im heading back to the UK for good in 2 weeks. Not been back for four years. Can't wait. I've also been desperately lonely and depressed this last year.
I will be saying fuckity bye Australia!

missyB1 · 10/07/2018 08:30

Oooh I remember the excitement of saying fuckity bye to New Zealand! I had no problem settling back into UK.
On the subject of maids in Singapore, we have friends who live there and annoyed me intensely when they told us how they get their maid to prepare all their packed lunches every day for work/ school. Now they would have a hard time coming back to UK, imagine having to make their own sandwich!

FermatsTheorem · 10/07/2018 08:32

You might be surprised about what the "I loved Singapore" posters on Fakebook really think, OP. A couple of work friends of mine worked out there for a couple of years, and in public they are indeed "Yay, Singapore, what a fascinating adventure..." but in private, they admit there were many aspects of it they didn't like (the maid system, the authoritarian politics, the hot-house educational system and the effect that had on their children).

Original poster
fbsg · 10/07/2018 08:38

Four years without a trip back Saturn? That's hard. Best of luck with the return transition. Will you be going back to a recognisable pre-Australia life, same town/friends etc.?

OP posts:
BrexitWife · 10/07/2018 08:39

Well the only thing that has come to my mind is
How would you feel if an immigrant in the U.K. was saying that about the uk?
I can tell you they would be slaughtered. (As per a recent thread)

So yes I get that you are happy to leave Singapore. I get you kissed the uk. You weren’t cut out to actually be an immigrant.
I would have expected a bit more respect for the country that welcomed you (because they did, see the reaction at the bakery).

Original poster
fbsg · 10/07/2018 08:42

Yeah, I know Fermat, facebook is facebook after all. You tended to get the same thing in real life too, like if you had any complaints you got looked at strangely, and always got the same response, oh but Singapore is so safe, and it's a wonderful opportunity for the children...

OP posts:
BrexitWife · 10/07/2018 08:43

Actually the whole thread is fascinating...

It seems that it’s ok for Brits to be harsh innte country that welcomed then as immigrants.
But immigrants in the uk aren’t allowed to say anything bad about the U.K. (or face comments along the lines of ‘well just fuck back home then’).

When you are back home, could you please share a thought for all the immigrants in the uk who are far away from home, are missing home and family and just find it hard and wants to say ‘Fickity bye Britain’?

missyB1 · 10/07/2018 08:43

The OP didn’t slag off Singapore though and didn’t make any racist comments about its inhabitants either, unlike on the recent thread which you are referring to BrexitWife

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/07/2018 08:44

I really miss my expat days. But I always did stuff to immerse myself in the culture - learnt the language, studied things I had always wanted to do, taught English. We lived in a few different countries but only in western europe. It was so much easier though because I was childless at the time so I didn’t have to get home at x time. I saw some of the partners with children really struggling so I totally understand where you’re coming from.

LaContessaDiPlump · 10/07/2018 08:44

Am finding this thread interesting because I never considered that expats might get upset by maid culture - I grew up in the ME and everyone had a maid! Our last one before I left for uni lived with us and was lovely. I missed her more than my parents Grin

op, I think you're being very restrained and are actually showing respect to Singaporean people by not openly saying 'Fuck this was awful'. You're allowed to feel that way!

BrexitWife · 10/07/2018 08:45

fbsg isn’t that people tell immigrants anyway? That they are so lucky to be in the uk and should be grateful the uk opened the doors to Them? Because if all the opportunities etc...
Why shouldn't it be different for you living in Singapore?

Devilishpyjamas · 10/07/2018 08:45

My aunt & family lived in sorts of countries as all hated Singapore. I think it was all the rules.