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Living overseas

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Original poster

Fuckity bye then Singapore

118 replies

fbsg · 10/07/2018 07:59

We are going home, woohoo!

I want to do a facebook post to tell everyone we’re on our way back, but whenever I start composing one, instead of the super gushy ones I’ve seen others do, ‘what a wonderful adventure, I’m going to miss our SG family sooooo much’ etc., I just want to say, ‘fuckity bye Singapore!’

And that would probably be a bit offensive to the people I have on FB from my time here, so I’m just going to have stick to saying it here instead...

OP posts:
Original poster
fbsg · 10/07/2018 08:46

I would say I have a new insight into the difficulties of being in a strange country, and particularly the need for communities of people from your home country.

And I say that knowing that being a white expat in Singapore is a hundred times easier than being an immigrant to the UK, or any of the rest of the immigrant workforce that Singapore depends on.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 10/07/2018 08:47

You weren’t cut out to be an immigrant
Ummm. Do you have any idea what the expat lifestyle is like? Not quite the same as being a immigrant. Dh and I lived in massive houses, had money on tap etc.

blueshoes · 10/07/2018 08:49

OP, so it is not really Singapore or Singaporean people that you don't like but the shallow expat culture that is in Singapore (compounded by the widespread availability of cheap domestic help) and the expat lifestyle? Did your dcs go to the local schools or an international school?

Original poster
fbsg · 10/07/2018 08:49

I'm not quite sure what I've done to offend you BrexitWife. You seem attributing all sorts of other opinions to me that I haven't expressed at all.

OP posts:
BrexitWife · 10/07/2018 08:51

I’m an immigrant myself mummy and have lived both as an ‘expat’ and as an immigrant fully integrated in the country.
So yes I have a very clear idea of what it means to be an immigrant.

Which is also why I’m annoyed at people coming to support the OP because it’s oh so hard to be an immigrant (an expat is just an economic immigrant btw). And then have to face the constant comments about how immigrants are awful in the U.K.

Very clearly one answer for Brits abroad and one answer to anyone else is ok.

fbsg thank you. I appreciate your comment

BrexitWife · 10/07/2018 08:52

Xpost.
Actually you haven’t offended me.
But the general tone of the thread has. See my post above

blueshoes · 10/07/2018 08:52

I would say I have a new insight into the difficulties of being in a strange country, and particularly the need for communities of people from your home country.

There are tons of Brits in Singapore! Just not ones that you get on with.

Original poster
fbsg · 10/07/2018 08:55

I find the politics of Singapore baffling. But given the state of UK politics at the moment I don't feel I can comment too much on that.

My dc went to a British school because we knew it was going to be a short term placement so wanted them to fit back in with the curriculum etc when we returned.

I met some lovely Singaporeans, and learnt as much about the culture as I could while I was there. But it was a different culture, and there are always going to be difficulties and frustrations with that.

OP posts:
BrexitWife · 10/07/2018 08:55

You do have to notice you, yourself said ‘fuckity bye’ wouod be offensive though....

And thats because it is.
And no one would accept it from an immigrant about the U.K.

I’m not sure why it is ok for you to say that on MN. It’s not less offensive because it’s MN or no one knows who you are etc....

And it’s very different to say that you found it hard and are impatient to be back home. Which most people would find ok and understandable.

Choosingusernamesishard · 10/07/2018 08:56

I spent half my childhood in Singapore and absolutely loved it, I imagine it’s a very different experience as an adult though. Yes, we did have a live in amah and my Mother struggled when we got back to the U.K.

I have to admit that I was very relieved to leave New Zealand after 18 months. Expat life can be really hard.

BreadTalk · 10/07/2018 08:57

The OP came on to say she was glad to be leaving, and suddenly it's offending immigrants? Immigrants are free to slag off the UK or wherever they are too, I don't care. Sometimes you find yourself in that position not through pure choice, or if it is, when you get there you either find out that you love it or hate it. It's then up to you to either leave or make the most of it. I knew Sg was never for me and while I'm very grateful for the experience, I wouldn't live there again.

Crazy8 · 10/07/2018 08:59

What’s the difference between an Expat and an Economic Migrant?

I’d genuinely like to know how the two terms are differentiated.

Devilishpyjamas · 10/07/2018 09:01

People living in the U.K. can say what they like about it. I have lived & worked abroad & know the U.K. isn’t some sort of wonderland (& knew that before it took the nasty turn of the last few years).

blueshoes · 10/07/2018 09:02

I am an immigrant from Singapore to the UK. I have been in the UK for 20 years now, so have a good idea of both cultures. I can understand it is very different, especially the politics and schooling in Singapore.

As a trailing spouse (I assume you are), I don't think you emotionally commit in the same way. As you say, you always knew it was a short stint. The expat community can be shallow with a high churn. It is not your cup of tea.

The use of maids and helpers is even more endemic amongst my friends who are locals (professionals) in Singapore. Their children are brought up in a completely different way to mine in the UK.

Original poster
fbsg · 10/07/2018 09:03

There are tons of Brits in Singapore! Just not ones that you get on with.

Of course, I know that, my comment was more about how important that community was to me, I would have been totally lost without the expat community. And I did 'get on' with individual people. It wasn't me who said they loathed all the other expats. I made one good friend who has left at the same time as me.

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/07/2018 09:04

You sound very happy OP! Welcome back.

Lolimax · 10/07/2018 09:05

I was born and brought up in Singapore- originally as an Army brat but my parents decided to stay on. It’s interesting to hear how you describe it now and I’m not completely surprised. I haven’t been back. One day...

Original poster
fbsg · 10/07/2018 09:06

As a trailing spouse (I assume you are), I don't think you emotionally commit in the same way. As you say, you always knew it was a short stint. The expat community can be shallow with a high churn. It is not your cup of tea.

Yes, this.

OP posts:
NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 10/07/2018 09:10

brexit i know the thread, and the tone of this op is diffent to that. That was im unhappy britan is vile its britans fault that im unhappy, when people suggested moving to other areas cos not all briatan was london blah they just got back more vile britians vile , this is im unhappy, its my own unhappiness if id settled i would have been op even saud it i really really tried i did the hobbies i did the expat life, just not for me. So yay im going home fuckity bye to the experence. Not fuck 9f singapore and your shit country, just fuck thank fuck i dont have to be lonely and depressed any more.

One is slagging of a whole country and blaming whole country for being utterly 'crap' the other is just a i had a crap experince and i cant wait for it to be over. Do you see the diffence?

Op say fuckity bye to the experince, its mot been good for you.

Daydreamer7 · 10/07/2018 09:10

No doubt your excited! I’m very excited to be saying fuckity bye to England and going back to Australia! Once you make your mind up to go back, the wait is sooo hard. Good luck with your move!

blueshoes · 10/07/2018 09:12

I am afraid I agree with BrexitWife on the title of your thread "Fuckity bye then Singapore".

I clicked on it to see what is so wrong with Singapore. Then it turns out you have a beef with things which are understandable but very common to the expat lifestyle in almost every country. And it is a different culture - no shit. The politics is different - who would have guessed.

You have unwittingly tarred all of Singapore with a brush. You could a little more insight into yourself instead and your ability or willingness to adapt to a different culture and environment. I am not saying your concerns are not valid, but you should be aware of the way you have expressed it in a sweeping way in relation to the country that hosted you and your family for 2 years when it is actually a combination of factors some of which are independent of Singapore.

And there are many many Brits who live the local and expat lifestyle in Singapore so it is not as if you were marooned there.

EscapeTheCastle · 10/07/2018 09:15

Is there anything you buy there that you can't get here?
Can you go on a massive shopping spree before going home?

Or is that the last thing to do because of packing and shipping limits?

Original poster
fbsg · 10/07/2018 09:17

I'm sorry about my thread title. I guess for me 'Singapore' symbolises the struggle I have had with the disruption to my life and the sadness that has come with it. I really didn't mean to suggest it was the country's fault.

OP posts:
blueshoes · 10/07/2018 09:19

Thanks, OP. That is big of you.

Tartyflette · 10/07/2018 09:20

actually, I have seen the 'fuckity-bye' attitude here in the UK from expats here (not immigrants) who are leaving after their two-three- whatever year posting . They are mainly returning to the US and are very pleased to be doing so.
So they didn't like it much here, or preferred it at home in the US. Meh.
I certainly wouldn't criticise them for that, or the OP.