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Living overseas

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Original poster

When did/do you feel homesick, if ever?

55 replies

TrucksAndDinosaurs · 04/03/2013 00:32

I live in the Caribbean.
For once, it's cold, grey, windy.
I love the weather like this; just for one day I can walk in fresh cool air, without bugs, humidity,sun lotion, sun glasses, red blotchy cheeks, sweat pooling in my bra.I can leave the house and feel like I can breathe.
I can sit in the porch in a hoody.
I miss the seasons, my home city of London, my friends, my family so so much.
I have been here two years. I moved when my son was 12 weeks old.
I wonder if I will ever feel like I like it here.
I get on with it but on days like today it's all I can do not to weep with homesickness.
Do you get homesick?
Did it pass? Does it get better/come in waves/get triggered by certain things?

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 04/03/2013 01:08

I am most homesick when I see people doing ordinary things. Like a mother and daughter discussing whether a top is nice or not, or two sisters arranging to go to ikea together or someone saying they are going to their grandparents for Easter.

Mummysaysno · 04/03/2013 01:15

When I forget I'm not in the UK...particularly if watching iplayer and there's a supermarket or something on a programme.
And when I really need to buy something and realise I have no clue where to get it from.

laptopwieldingharpy · 04/03/2013 01:59

Same as SavoyCabbage, exactly.

MechanicalTheatre · 04/03/2013 02:12

I live in the UK now but lived abroad for years.

The thing that made me most homesick was not getting the Sunday papers. And once when I lived somewhere without potable water and I couldn't buy any bottled and it was 50C...that made me really homesick.

I'd say it comes in waves, but it does take a while to get used to it.

westcoastnortherner · 04/03/2013 02:38

I'm a bit homesick at the mo Hmm

AdoraBell · 04/03/2013 02:48

Last year, I grew up in London and wanted to hop on a plane to see the Olympics never mind the fact I had no tickets and having seen the Queen's Sliver Jubilee as a child I was very disappointed not to see the Golden Jubilee celebrations.

Other than that I'm quite happy here and don't really miss anything about UK other than a friend. My other friends are scattered across the globe.

MechanicalTheatre · 04/03/2013 02:57

Golden Jubilee was a washout anyway. We tried to see the boats but it was too packed. You missed nothing.

Olympics was fab though, even without a ticket.

AdoraBell · 04/03/2013 03:03

Thanks Mechanical, but I still wish I'd been there.

Longdistance · 04/03/2013 03:06

I'm homesick every day. We moved here to Oz about 16 months ago. It's all very well going to the beach, but it's too bloody hot for my dd's as the Uv rays are nearly always high.
I really miss the support from my parents, and my bf. my parents can't travel because of their ill health and not bing able to get insurance, or it being something ridiculous. I went back in August last year, I wish I hadn't come back :(

Labootin · 04/03/2013 03:48

I'm in Dubai so the shopping is good but...
I will admit to very occasionally going onto the sainsburys to you website and filling up my imaginary trolley

God that's really sad Grin

I'm lucky in that I fly back to England pretty much every 3 months so I see family and friends (plus the endless stream of them coming out to visit once it's cooled down)

It properly rained here for two days last month and although it was a novelty (the dcs were running around in it) I very quickly got bored of it.

I hate Skype I think that makes any trace of homesickness a lot worse.non visual email and telephone are much better.

sleepywombat · 04/03/2013 04:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sibble · 04/03/2013 05:14

In NZ for 10 years. I have been homesick when:

none of my family were here to see ds2 born, the first time they saw him was when I took him (and ds1) home for 3 weeks when he was 6 months old.

my Dad had a heart attack at Christmas and I wasn't there

I missed the birth of my niece and 2 nephews and the first years of their lives

I missed the funerals and saying goodbye to my Grandmother and Grandfather

I will (unless we move back) miss the last years of my Nan's life (she's 89)

Grandparents day at school when my boys don't have anybody to take Sad

when I see families doing family things and think are we missing out

Lavenderhoney · 04/03/2013 05:25

I miss the UK a lot at the moment as its going to be springtime and I want to show the dc the start of it, experience the seasons, wear seasonal clothes and have a sense of identity. My friends and family are scattered all over, and I wasn't close to my family anyway, I just miss it.

I have friends here but the expat life means they could go overnight almost, so I worry the dc won't learn how to make friends that are with you through school and beyond. In Dubai at the moment.

I've missed the daily life of friends and life experiences. So no matter how much you try, you are not a best friend anymore- someone living near your ex bf is going to be closer. Yes it's still someone to tell stuff too, but they are so far removed. And it takes a while to make friends as an expat you tell things to. It can be lonely- I mean lonely for troubled times, not for coffee and meeting on the beach !

MrsLion · 04/03/2013 06:05

I've been in Nz for 8 years, and minus the heart attacks and funerals I was going to write every single one of your points sibble
It is often the things that were somewhat mundane that cause the worst feelings of homesickness tinged with nostalgia. Sometimes i torture myself by going on m&s online or tesco!

I have bad bouts of homesickness and tbh I really want to go back to the uk. :(

Shanghaidiva · 04/03/2013 06:58

Rarely feel homesick as have been away for a long time (18 years) and my children were born outside the UK and have always had a long distance relationship with their grandparents.
I do miss the following though:
Sunday papers
theatre
decent bookshops
UK supermarkets
pubs
being able to buy everyhting I need for a good food magazine recipe
My brother has lived overseas for over 20 years so my mum is used to us being away. I imagine the situation will become more difficult as my mum gest older and if she becomes ill (DF died 13 years ago). PILs are not such an issue as sil lives 30 minutes away from them.

BlingLoving · 04/03/2013 07:10

I think the 6 month - 2 year period IS the hardest op so hopefully things will start getting better soon. In that period the novelty has worn off but you do t have a new established life yet.

I get homesick at family occasions - birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries etc. and I hate being so far away when my parents are sick. Also, when I'm Feeli g just a bit down I really miss my old friends. I have great friends but its not quite the same as the women I've known since I was a child.

butterfliesinmytummy · 04/03/2013 07:51

Like shanghaidiva, I've been out of my home country for 18 years so don't miss it as such. At the moment we live near the equator so i miss dark winter evenings when you close the curtains and put on the fire (I do light candles and open the patio doors when the sky turns black during a tropical storm though!). I also miss sitting in a pub garden with a pint of cider watching a game of cricket on a weekend afternoon. We are lucky to live in a country that has most of the material things you can get in the uk though (we even have m&s...) so this is an easy posting.

I've moved so much that I miss things from other countries that aren't home too.....

laptopwieldingharpy · 04/03/2013 09:21

butterflies
"I've moved so much that I miss things from other countries that aren't home too?.." Agree Smile

admylin · 04/03/2013 09:26

TrucksAndDinosaurs I can imagine how you feel about the fresh cool air. Dh keeps applying for jobs in parts of the US where it's so humid and hot, I am dreading it if he gets one of them.

I mostly only get homesick whern we run out of branston or marmite but I can order it (at a high price) and clothes/shoe shopping in general is just plain frustrating where we live so I miss that too.

dickiedoodah · 04/03/2013 16:16

I've been in the US for about eight months and in no particular order I miss:

Decent ready meals
Normal weather (by this I mean seasons)
Shopping with my mum
My family
Had my first baby a few months ago and I swear the fact that I've done this away from family has made me more homesick
Walking through a village
Opening a window and feeling fresh, cold clean air
Opening my mouth to talk and not feeling like I'm going to get twenty questions about where I'm from and what I'm doing here
British TV dramas
The NHS
Being able to get somewhere great in less than two hours for a weekend break
I'm going back to the UK in a few weeks and I'm dreading having to come back to a hot humid summer

I'm sure it will get better with time and I knew I would miss things but being away has made me realise that I don't really want to live anywhere else. Also I want my child to have the upbringing I had and I know this is not going to be possible.

fussychica · 04/03/2013 16:42

Lived abroad for 8 years and didn't suffer homesickness often but water cuts so no showers when it's 40+ degrees can make you homesick very quickly!

Now I'm back I really appreciate lovely supermarkets and reliable TV reception.

ripsishere · 05/03/2013 00:51

We've been out of the UK for 12 years apart from one year in the NW.
i can honestly say I haven't been homesick ever. The only time I had a slight twinge was when DD was born, and my mum and sister flew out a week after so it was OK.
I do miss a lot of 'things', the newspapers, the supermarkets, the weather, friends, family and pubs.

INeverSaidThat · 05/03/2013 01:10

We lived overseas for years and years, (DC,s born in various countries etc). I always visited the UK every summer so I never felt too homesick and my Mum visited once or twice a year too. (Along with others)
I missed a few things but less and less as time went on.

I am delighted to be settled in the UK now and I think I appriciate all the fantastic things the UK has to offer. However, I now find myself being homesick for some of the other countries I lived in.
I think the first couple of years were the hardest as I also had a little baby at that time. As the baby got older I started making friends with other Mums and never looked back.

Living overseas was a ver positive and enjoyable (most the time) experience for our family.

papooshka · 05/03/2013 05:56

Been away for 11 years and generally only get homesick when there's a big event on, so I missed my parents 50th wedding anniversary as I was 8 months pg, missed my sisters 50th birthday etc etc. Also get emotional if there's an event like the queens jubilee, loved watching the concert and felt very patriotic! But also if I'm having a bad day and want to talk to someone from home who really knows me and its the wrong time to call, that pisses me off!!

Salbertina · 05/03/2013 07:54

Burst into tears watching Olympic opening ceremony, bursting with pride also!
Comes in waves like that still after a couple of years. Christmas etc can be hard also. As can looking at any typically british landscapes- gentle greens, crispy air, old villages...all can set me off!