WHERE'S BEST TO LIVE IN NZ AND WHAT DO WE NEED TO KNOW:PART 3!!!!(HOLY SHIT!)

[AngryBeaver]

Can you believe we've finished finished off another thread? Jeez we can talk!!
Just an update..we've found a nice double glazed,4 bed house,with nice garden. So that's one stress off the last.
Hilongwhitecloud

AB I know it's easy for me to say but try not to use energy up thinking about your in-laws or your mum...just concentrate on looking after yourself. All that matters is that you, your dh and your dcs are all OK. I think your mum is trying to help as she doesn't want to see you go through any more pain but she's going about it the wrong way.

Let it all out on here whenever you need to, we're listening :)

You're right.I am wearing myself down to the point where I might give up for a while. I can't let that happen.Have to keep going.
Shall I tell you mine and dh's anthem?
"aint nothing gonna break my stride,nobody can hold me down.Oh no,I got to keep on moving"
Now you can think of me everytime you see that ad. I hum it when I feel things are getting tough

Keep going AB. One day at a time now. Your mum's comments sound like my mums but she's probably well intentioned - just coming out wrong. She will be really distressed for you. Park the in laws for later.

Oh AB I'm so very very sorry you are going through this hell and I'm furious that you've had such unprofessional, borderline heartless care from the NZ medical system. I'm gutted that all the love you have for your baby girl just isnt enough to help her, I just cant imagine what that feels like but I believe, someway somehow, that she feels that love and will take it with her.

Kia Kaha xx (be strong, my thoughts are with you)

No but I was a bit disturbed by my midwife telling me that on Mon she not only has to find a bed,but make sure there is staff on that aare "willing to look after someone like you"....how to make me feel even shitter than I do already.

Quite,I have said the same myself.
I have only read about people beinglovely to mothers in my situation (on the other thread) now I am worrying they will be horrid to me. That would be too much to bear

AB I hope your mw is exaggerating a bit. I know someone who had a termination at this stage and she had no issues with staff attitudes.

Hope so,but this is the second time she's said something alomg those lines. I ahve also read thatas this is a very small,mainly Catholic country, you may encounter attitudes that are different from the majority of the UK.
I don't know,I just want this all over

I think rural NZ is very different to Auckland AB. Most of the nurses I've encountered at Auckland hospital weren't kiwi either- lots from the UK etc. So I hope they will treat you with respect.

I don't think it's a mainly Catholic country. But anyway, bit of a digression. Hopefully whoever works in medical departments that deal with these situations treat their patients with professionalism and respect.

I don't know. Most at dh's work are Catholics. And apparantly the West coast is all Catholic,so on the whole more Catholics than not...but thats just what I heard. Am past caring,tbh.
If they want to be mean to me,Fuck Them.
Yes,most were English in Aukland,they were very caring. Especially one lady. I feel bad now because I wouldn't listen to her and just needed to get out. Then it was her who broke the news over the phone and I more or less put the phone down on her.She asked if she could ring back later and I said no!
She probably thinks I'm a total mentalist.
Anyway,I won't be going to Aukland now I don't think. Have been doing lots of research about it,and have decided that the only safe option (for any future pregnancies) is to deliver the baby.
This is my worst nightmare,but it has to be done

Sorry you're having to go through this AB.

I'd not identify NZ as a Catholic country at all. There's an awful lot of people who identify themselves as "Christian" but without denomination. But there's an awful lot who don't have religion at all.

I was suprised to hear that it was predominantly Catholic,tbh. That's what I was told, but I wasn't sure either. Spain,yes...NZ..hmm,really?
Anyway,take it up with the poster on the other thread,I have too much else to think about!! I am not religious,dh is Catholic,non practising. We don't jugde anyone and hope that no one will judge us.
My doctor came round before with a fruit basket and ice creams for the kids. She said she would talk to the hospital first thing monday and try to sort this whole mess out. Gave me a big cuddle and told me I was doing the right thing.

It's great you have your drs support - I honestly don't think any if my drs in the UK would have taken that approach and in that way I do think kiwi folk are great. I had to take dcs in for hep b jabs a few weeks ago and I had a migraine brewing. The receptionists got me water and after the kids were jabbed they sent me for a lie down in the nurses room, gave the baby his bottle and looked after the kids. My drs in Scotland were awful. The receptionists would glare at the kids and only one dr really gave a shit as she had boys same age as me.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I've been thinking about you lots. Just keep going. Hospital woman also won't think you're rude or mental given the news. I'm sure she'll be full of empathy.

How lovely of your dr. Mine brought me a big batch of home-made chocolate brownies once! Probably not recommended in the healthy eating guidelines but lovely nevertheless.

They do seem to be a lot more caring here. Although my bf in Uk is a GP in Liverpool. I know she would love to do things like that for people but would never have the time. I have seen her cry over cancer patients and terminally ill children.
I think GP's here do have more time. There is hardly ever anyone waiting when I go,and the phone is never engaged

In the Uk I think they have 7 mins per person where as here it is 15. I've never seen the same GP more than once in the UK either.

I hope things go okay tomorrow AB. How long is your mum due to stay?

I hope I get to go in tomorrow,it's not definite . I'll have to go on my own,dh will have to go to work. Mum is here for 2 weeks,.We both cried today and she asked me to come home. I so want to at the moment

Can't DH call in sick? Surely they will understand.

Don't think about going/staying yet. You need to grieve now. Decisions later. Stay strong AB. We are all thinking of you.

I think his work have been pretty understanding so far. They sent a huge gift basket the other day. And then he booked thurs and fri off as we thought we were going to Aukland to the other clinic. But then I changed my mind and am now going in on mon(hopefully) for the first appointment. Then possibly wed,for who knows how long. So he cant really ask them for anymore time.
And althoughI want to go home.I won't . I feel enough of a failure without going back with my tail between my legs