WHERE'S BEST TO LIVE IN NZ AND WHAT DO WE NEED TO KNOW:PART 3!!!!(HOLY SHIT!)

[AngryBeaver]

Can you believe we've finished finished off another thread? Jeez we can talk!!
Just an update..we've found a nice double glazed,4 bed house,with nice garden. So that's one stress off the last.
Hilongwhitecloud

AB my friend's amnio was within a week of her getting her test results so hopefully it's soon for you (yes, I know a week would feel like an eternity). Hope you got some sleep.

Just spoke/blubbed to the mdwf...won't get a date for the amnio til next week. The weeken will feel like an eternity

That sucks AB. I think blubbing is pretty normal in these circumstances. If you can, try to take one step at a time and don't torture yourself with what if's. I will be thinking of you.

I'm just back from Starship- DD had an ultrasound to check her operation was successful. All good so far. I think she has another in a few months.

Blubbing ok - hang in there. Remember 80% chance it's all good. Can't give you any advice how to get through the weekend with the worry. Know u must be feeling sick to your stomach. So sorry you're going through this. Just sending you love.

Just sending you lots of love AB xx

And on a practical note, because my practical side always kicks in... I understand completely that you won't want to meet anyone for the first time when you come up to Auckland, but is there someone you feel comfortable enough to stay with afterwards (or maybe the budget stretch to an overnight nearby?). We do the drive to Cambridge fairly regularly to see MIL, & it's a long enough haul. If you need to rest afterwards, you might find it mentally easier if you don't have to face that journey?

Just a thought.

Keeping you in my thoughts this weekend xx

littlest glad your dd is doing well x
Thank you all for your well wishes,advice and kind words. The mdwf said she would try her best to get my a date today,but obviously she hasn't been able to. I don't know about staying in a hotel,w are skint!But also,it might be a bit much for my mum with all the kids. She can cope with 2,but the littlest is a real tinker and he cries if I go into the loo! I don't think she'll be able to get him down for his sleeps. (he likes to suck my bottom lip like a dummy for comfort )
I have made a rod for my own back with that one. Anyway,point is,I think I'll have to go back.
I have resigned myself to hearing bad news after the amnio,so anything else will be a wonderful suprise.

Can't believe you have to go all the way to Auckland for it AB. they just don't consider all these things when they make all these cuts. really hope next week comes and goes quickly for you x

I know,it just makes a bad situation worse. It has to be done though x

Stay strong, AB xx

Am trying my best ...I'd really like a tripple double vodka and coke,with no ice and a slice of lime

Oh goodness AB the agony of waiting...

Just so you know - the full results of the amnio do take a week as they test for a number of genetic conditions not just Down Syndrome. However they can do a "fish test" which should take less than 48 hours and this will give the results for DS only. You should ask for this.

The reason for bedrest is that there is a very small chance of miscarriage following an amnio - I'm sure you are aware of this already? The chance is lower when done in a facility that do amnios routinely, so from that perspective you may be lower risk in Auckland.

I don't know what else you have heard or want to know but I had about 20 weeks of investigating matters relating to DS so found out quite a lot of stuff. You have probably had a look on the internet and talked to your MW etc but do feel free to ask me any questions too.

In my case I was convinced (despite the 1:20 nuchal test result, and signs of a blocked kidney at the 19 week scan - which has some correlation to DS) that my baby was NOT DS, and in any case had made a decision to keep her regardless (personal choice) so I fought like mad not to have the amnio as I didn't see the point.

The ob/gyn tried her absolute utmost to force it upon me the same day I first met her (which was actually at the 19-20 week scan). Ironic how different situations pan out isn't it. I resisted and resisted (until 32 weeks actually) until my Mum finally convinced me it would be good to know "for sure" plus I had a huge build up of amniotic fluid which really needed to be released.
The ob/gyn was so sure that DD2 did have DS that when the results of the amnio came back clear she wanted me to have a second amnio on the basis that my blood must have contaminated the sample somehow. She also "claimed" to see signs of a heart defect, told me that the 32 week ultrasound showed DD was a boy (even though I'd had 6 prior ultrasounds where I'd been told she was a girl)... I could go on.
Its all a long time ago now but I must admit I still have some residual anger over the way she treated me.

I absolutely agree that having decided to go ahead and have the amnio the days of waiting were absolutely the worst. Take care of yourself.

Wow,buzzybee...she sounds wonderful
I'm so glad things worked out for you.
I must admit,the wait over the weekend is killing me.If only I had a date for next week,I could focus on that day.But to have nothing...no timeframe for my next step. It's horrid bobbing about in limbo.
Anyway,went for a nice meal at The Red Cherry (had a fat knacker's burger!)and then on to Hamilton zoo today with dh,the kids and mum. We had a nice time,although I'm shattered now.

Oh don't think of me when you drive through Hamilton,think of me when you drive through Cambridge...it's much naicer
I'm doing not so bad thanks...coping.
Although did get very upset earlier,when I was looking at the scan photo on the fridge I said something like "it looks so perfect doesn't it,dh?doesn't it?There can't be anything wrong can there,dh?It's perfect isn't it?...dh?...dh?" and he said "I think it's head looks deformed,I'm really sorry to say that but I've been thinking it for ages." I was really annoyed and upset and went and found my Mum,and told her and she said "Actually love,I thought the same thing,I just didn't want to say anything"....so I threw myself on the sofa and wailed for a while. I just hope it's because of the scan photo

Jeez, not very tactful of them!

If all babies came out looking like their scan photos there would be a hell of a lot of freaky people walking around!

Mum yold me to get the other scan photos out and compare them,but I don't know how helpful that would be.Plus loadsa stuff still in boxes,wouldn't know where to start.
Yes,I must admit it's now another thing to stress over. I don't know if the sonographer would have said anything,she told me and dh everything was fine...he even asked her again when she sent me to the toilet.She said "no,everything looks great!" The midwife told me she was "suprised" that the sonographer hadn't said anything.

With DS1 the sonographer pointed out what a huge nose he had which freaked me out a bit. We called him Gonzo whilst still in utero until MIL cracked down on us. For what it's worth DS1 has a totally proportioned nose.

I'm sorry but feeling a bit angry with your mum and DH for saying that =- totally unhelpful especially considering the circumstances. Take it was the 12-14 week scan? Did they not measure the skull anyway to date you from a couple of angles? Surely if they had thought something was wrong then they would have said. Also I don't think having an odd shaped head is an indicator of downs is it?

I reckon scans are pretty inaccurate. I was told DD would be over 8lb with a big head. I'm quite little so this was a worry. (My BIL kindly told me DH had a HUGE head as a baby which is not what any pregnant woman wants to hear. DH does have quite a large head btw but is genetically normal.) DD was 7lb 3oz. A pal was told her baby was huge and sent for a Glucose test a week before the birth. Her DD was about 7lb.

I'm quite annoyed with your DH and DM too.

Hi all,

Just catching up on the thread (we are in NZ!).

AB so sorry that this process is taking so long. I imagine you just want the results now, and to be in a foreign country with a different medical system must be really hard. Lots of hugs for you and your family. Make sure you keep offloading on here, hopefully it will help a bit and I think you just do whatever you have to do to get through this difficult period.

xxx

To be air dh kind of blurted it out..I think he had been worrying over it for a while. I agree the scans are often innacurate and have heard similar stories re big/small babies. I don't know if the sonographer would have said anything,because she told us all was fine when she clearly knew it was not. I think maybe I freaked her out as I was so tense when I went in (due to last bad experience) and then blubbed like mad when I saw the heartbeat. Maybe she knew I was On The Edge,emotionally and didn't want me to make a scene!

Longwhitecloud...hello! Where abouts are you? Hideous weather today,hopefully will brighten up. xx
ps if I did what I needed to do to get through this,I would not have been sober since last week

Good plan! Brightening up now though. I'm getting really annoyed now.Mdwf said Aukland were supposed to ring me on Fri with an apt day.She said she struggled to get through to a "real person" and hoped they had rung me. She is trying again now,but she wonb't give me the number so I can try too. It's getting ridiculous,I am so stressed out

OK,having cvs tomorrow.Unfortunately my placenta is posterior (they need to take a sample) so they may not be able to get at it.If this is the case I'll have to trek back again next week for an amnio. I am not looking forward to the prospect of them digging around in my stomach trying to get to the placenta RIGHT AT THE BLOODY BACK!