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Life-limiting illness

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Stage IV cancer? Incurable? Roll up, roll up, this thread is for you!

998 replies

mowly77 · 05/08/2023 17:46

I’m expecting tumbleweed. But I’ve jumped over from the lovely supportive threads I’ve been on for general cancer - latest one here-

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4863468-cancer-support-thread-89-the-best-thread-that-no-one-wants-to-be-on?reply=128175880

to see if there’s any interest in a separate thread. I often feel like such a derailing buzzkill on the general cancer threads as there are so many shapes, sizes, flavours of cancer & so many different issues when you’re being treated to be cured as opposed to being treated palliatively.

And those of us unlucky enough to be incurable, and let’s face it, dead, sooner rather than later from this insidious disease, have our own concerns and darknesses. And admin. And hopefully some good days. Please, please let there be more good days.

Help, advice, dark humour and support are the aims. There are wonderful people on the cancer support threads & I often feel guilty for trauma-dumpling my tales of woe on it, to those dealing with their own, but different, bullshit.

Anyway —- come on in, the door is open. All I have to offer today are tales of woe about NHS incompetence & updates on the state of my bowels.

Here’s ‘my story’ - my bullshit story I wish wasn’t true but here we are. Please share yours if you would like.

estrogen+ BC diagnosed age 36, v aggressive, 3 tumours, 2 very large. Right mastectomy. No lymph node involvement. 5 miserable months of old school FEC poison. Then diagnosed BRCA2+. Left risk reducing mastectomy. Then crickets from the NHS. No one told me NED but indeed I had none. So for 11 years I love my life.

I give birth in 2018 to my DD, conceived via IVF, as my reproductive capabilities did not survive the FEC. Had my ovaries removed shortly after as per advice for BRCA2 patients . THEY DIDN’T BOTHER TO FURNISH ME WITH ANY ADVICE ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH SUDDEN SURGICAL MENOPAUSE WITH NO HRT THOUGH. And a baby in the mix! I’m still v cross about that.

Right when I wasn’t expecting it, when I thought I had ‘beaten’ the ten year survival rates (hahhhha, that fucker came back. After much faffing from utterly shitballs hospital trust finally diagnosed metastatic, stage 4, incurable, spread in my lungs, pleura and sternum. This was March 2022 when my daughter was 3.5

I’ve since had 15 rounds of Paclitaxel (first 3 months some shrinkage; last 3 months total failure, back where started) & then managed to get moved to Royal Marsden in London with great effort as my oncologist was so bad, so rude & she made my life a misery. I started on the ‘gentler’ regime of Palbociclib & Letrozole and whilst I was battling horrible side effects from those I had a 6 month run of clear scans and I was finally getting to grips with the treatment. Then the other shoe dropped and the bastard cancer is growing again. I’m still on Palbo & Letrozole while they test my blood for an enzyme that will determine if I can move on to Capecitabine. Which I’m terrified of! Better the devil you know.

In the meantime I’m in America with my family (who all live here) trying and failing to communicate with the NHS over email to see if I can fly home earlier than scheduled so they can see me quicker and get me on Cape asap because I’m really not doing well.

I can have a ‘good’ day if I’m dosed up to the eyeballs on Oramorph but it’s all quite exhausting & I’ve had to temporarily come off it to relieve my insane constipation and stomach issues. So now I’ve been on bed for two days. BUT it’s not all bad. I’ve been to see the Barbie since I’ve been here & been to the local pool with DD a few times & enjoyed sitting on the porch listening to the cicadas. It’s boiling hot too so am getting a break from the rain.

I’d love to hear your stories, tales of woes, worries, advice. Anything at all you want to say in this safe supportive space. There’s just so much in the mix for this stage of bastard cancer.

Page 3 | Cancer Support Thread 89 - the best thread that no one wants to be on. | Mumsnet

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45
lucysmam · 27/02/2024 20:55

Wow.

I actually don't know what to say!

How very fucking dare she!? What a knob indeed!

I don't think I'd want to be in a room with her, alone, just in case she does claim you "went psycho" even if you didn't!

Do you absolutely have to be in Friday's meeting? I'd be inclined to show them the middle finger & focus on surgery/recovery.

Why do they need letters? Most of my appointments are either text message to confirm, or just agreed verbally on my way out the door. What a ballache getting a letter every time would be!

ShalommJackie · 27/02/2024 21:48

I know! It's ridiculous!!

I now need an independent witness to every single meeting with my manager. Well what if we have a chat about a new policy?

No I don't think I need to go or be present at the meeting. Mainly because it's all accessible on the government website and I can attend a catch up class.

Ridiculous

RedRosesPinkLilies · 28/02/2024 08:22

@ShalommJackie - coming out of lurking in the shadows…

How did the manager know what meds you’re on?
What’s the dose of anti psychotic - the same drugs are used to treat different things - but then often in a lower dose.

This is utter bullying- but I’m sure you know that.
Is no one standing up for you?

TwigTheWonderKid · 28/02/2024 19:38

Tilllly · 27/02/2024 19:40

Not fussy then @TwigTheWonderKid?

George Clooney keeps begging me for introductions
I'll send him over

I've waited in all bloody day for him@Tilllly. Did you send him by DPD or Royal Mail?

TwigTheWonderKid · 28/02/2024 19:40

@ShalommJackie how are you feeling about tomorrow? And have you told your manager where to go?

WrenNatsworthy · 28/02/2024 21:43

@Tilllly I have spent far too much time trying to decide which boys I want sent over. 🤣

@ShalommJackie more power to your elbow tomorrow

Today I have had one paramedic attached to GP surgery, 2 hospice nurses and one hospice family support worker visit. Paramedic did my obs, will sort blood test.

I can't do too much yet, pretty weak still, I can occasionally walk up and down the stairs and around my bedroom. I asked hospice nurse if I could try and do some exercise and it was a flat no! She's Irish, warm and funny. She said I was doing enough, so that's fine by me!

Tilllly · 28/02/2024 21:52

Thread nearly full

TwigTheWonderKid · 28/02/2024 21:55

Yes it is but mowly77 set this one up 😢

Tilllly · 29/02/2024 02:47

I sent him by Evri @TwigTheWonderKid
I even supplied his duster and polish, and kitchen cleaning stuff

I bet he's still at @WrenNatsworthy's with the others
She's greedy

Tilllly · 29/02/2024 02:48

TwigTheWonderKid · 28/02/2024 21:55

Yes it is but mowly77 set this one up 😢

I'm sorry 😞 x

TwigTheWonderKid · 29/02/2024 07:25

Tilllly · 29/02/2024 02:47

I sent him by Evri @TwigTheWonderKid
I even supplied his duster and polish, and kitchen cleaning stuff

I bet he's still at @WrenNatsworthy's with the others
She's greedy

Oh FFS @Tilllly . What were you thinking?

TwigTheWonderKid · 29/02/2024 07:27

Tilllly · 29/02/2024 02:48

I'm sorry 😞 x

But yes, you are right. We need a new thread. @Tilllly would you like to do the honours?

Tilllly · 29/02/2024 08:48

Okay, I have started a new thread in the same forum life, limiting illness. I've tagged a handful of you, if you could tag some others because I can't bloody see how to put the new thread link in here, because I'm a bloody luddite

Tilllly · 29/02/2024 09:10

HOW! How did you do that?!

TwigTheWonderKid · 29/02/2024 10:31

@Tilllly I'll tell you when I take delivery of George 😉

Tilllly · 29/02/2024 18:32

TwigTheWonderKid · 29/02/2024 10:31

@Tilllly I'll tell you when I take delivery of George 😉

🤣🤣🤣🤣
Tart!

Pinchaperfect · 01/03/2024 09:37

@TwigTheWonderKid Not yet, but its been a bit of a while wind this week, they did leave a message wednesday but I haven't rung them back.

Saw the oncologist Wednesday. My cancer has now spread again. On my skin, which I knew because I can see and feel it, one of my liver spots has got much bigger, and it has gone to my sacrum, which explains alot. I thought I'd injured myself running, and have been trying to do stretches and things like that to help, and also have a deep annoying ache, right there too, but, no, it's the cancer.

They started me on a new chemo yesterday, epirubicin, I can only have 24 weeks of this for some reason. Got to have some injections to protect my bones, one dose of raidiotherapy for pain. Also having a scan to see if its spread to anymore bones.

Not the news I wanted to hear, fed up. And when I asked them if there was any special numbing creams or patches I could put on my skin to help the pain they said no, only morphine, wich is why I have to call the palliative care team back, because I'm sure theres something out there I could have.

RedRosesPinkLilies · 01/03/2024 10:12

@Pinchaperfect sorry to hear all ths
would EMLA cream be worth a try? The local anaesthetic that the use on kids skin before taking blood? Might depend what the actual cause of the pain is.

Pinchaperfect · 01/03/2024 13:05

@RedRosesPinkLilies i was just looking at that actually, I was wondering if it might sting if there are any open bits on my skin, I may go and speak to the pharmacist tomorrow and see what they say.

Pinchaperfect · 10/03/2024 12:11

Hiya
Hope youre all having a good Sunday. Any plans for mothers day?

Bit of a update from me. Finally got to see gp last Monday. Got the prescription Wednesday. Have started Pregablin for the pain on Wednesday. And have some lidocane patches that numb as well.

Been working good I think until today. I think I may have to call the emergency oncology number later. Got an area of swelling under my arm pit thats been there three 3 weeks, so its not the new chemo, but I'm sure the pain in it has got worse and think some of my skin has split. barrel of laughs here it is.

Tilllly · 10/03/2024 15:44

Don't wait @Pinchaperfect

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