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Stage IV cancer? Incurable? Roll up, roll up, this thread is for you!

998 replies

mowly77 · 05/08/2023 17:46

I’m expecting tumbleweed. But I’ve jumped over from the lovely supportive threads I’ve been on for general cancer - latest one here-

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4863468-cancer-support-thread-89-the-best-thread-that-no-one-wants-to-be-on?reply=128175880

to see if there’s any interest in a separate thread. I often feel like such a derailing buzzkill on the general cancer threads as there are so many shapes, sizes, flavours of cancer & so many different issues when you’re being treated to be cured as opposed to being treated palliatively.

And those of us unlucky enough to be incurable, and let’s face it, dead, sooner rather than later from this insidious disease, have our own concerns and darknesses. And admin. And hopefully some good days. Please, please let there be more good days.

Help, advice, dark humour and support are the aims. There are wonderful people on the cancer support threads & I often feel guilty for trauma-dumpling my tales of woe on it, to those dealing with their own, but different, bullshit.

Anyway —- come on in, the door is open. All I have to offer today are tales of woe about NHS incompetence & updates on the state of my bowels.

Here’s ‘my story’ - my bullshit story I wish wasn’t true but here we are. Please share yours if you would like.

estrogen+ BC diagnosed age 36, v aggressive, 3 tumours, 2 very large. Right mastectomy. No lymph node involvement. 5 miserable months of old school FEC poison. Then diagnosed BRCA2+. Left risk reducing mastectomy. Then crickets from the NHS. No one told me NED but indeed I had none. So for 11 years I love my life.

I give birth in 2018 to my DD, conceived via IVF, as my reproductive capabilities did not survive the FEC. Had my ovaries removed shortly after as per advice for BRCA2 patients . THEY DIDN’T BOTHER TO FURNISH ME WITH ANY ADVICE ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH SUDDEN SURGICAL MENOPAUSE WITH NO HRT THOUGH. And a baby in the mix! I’m still v cross about that.

Right when I wasn’t expecting it, when I thought I had ‘beaten’ the ten year survival rates (hahhhha, that fucker came back. After much faffing from utterly shitballs hospital trust finally diagnosed metastatic, stage 4, incurable, spread in my lungs, pleura and sternum. This was March 2022 when my daughter was 3.5

I’ve since had 15 rounds of Paclitaxel (first 3 months some shrinkage; last 3 months total failure, back where started) & then managed to get moved to Royal Marsden in London with great effort as my oncologist was so bad, so rude & she made my life a misery. I started on the ‘gentler’ regime of Palbociclib & Letrozole and whilst I was battling horrible side effects from those I had a 6 month run of clear scans and I was finally getting to grips with the treatment. Then the other shoe dropped and the bastard cancer is growing again. I’m still on Palbo & Letrozole while they test my blood for an enzyme that will determine if I can move on to Capecitabine. Which I’m terrified of! Better the devil you know.

In the meantime I’m in America with my family (who all live here) trying and failing to communicate with the NHS over email to see if I can fly home earlier than scheduled so they can see me quicker and get me on Cape asap because I’m really not doing well.

I can have a ‘good’ day if I’m dosed up to the eyeballs on Oramorph but it’s all quite exhausting & I’ve had to temporarily come off it to relieve my insane constipation and stomach issues. So now I’ve been on bed for two days. BUT it’s not all bad. I’ve been to see the Barbie since I’ve been here & been to the local pool with DD a few times & enjoyed sitting on the porch listening to the cicadas. It’s boiling hot too so am getting a break from the rain.

I’d love to hear your stories, tales of woes, worries, advice. Anything at all you want to say in this safe supportive space. There’s just so much in the mix for this stage of bastard cancer.

Page 3 | Cancer Support Thread 89 - the best thread that no one wants to be on. | Mumsnet

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45
TwigTheWonderKid · 23/02/2024 14:36

Where's Smudge?

Tilllly · 23/02/2024 15:18

@TwigTheWonderKid
I don't know, but I am pretty sure if you go near that lump in the middle, somebody will pounce

TwigTheWonderKid · 23/02/2024 22:02

Too right @Tilllly. He claims he was helping me make the bed but that's just bollocks; when I asked him to do up some of the buttons om the duvet cover he just got up and went to sleep in a box.

Tilllly · 24/02/2024 02:29

TwigTheWonderKid · 23/02/2024 22:02

Too right @Tilllly. He claims he was helping me make the bed but that's just bollocks; when I asked him to do up some of the buttons om the duvet cover he just got up and went to sleep in a box.

Freeloader!

Yumyum does that, nothing excites her so much as a bed being made.

And she dive bombs the pile of dirty bedding then pounces on your ankles

WrenNatsworthy · 25/02/2024 18:36

Hello honies I'm home!

Hello @Iaspo and @Pinchaperfect

I'm mainly in bed at the mo. Sent home with iron tablets, GPs to do blood tests.

My level went up to 67 from 40 after 4 bags of blood, so just over halfway back to normal. Hope it continues to climb.

Loving all the pet pics. Daisy is just too beautiful @Tilllly

SewingBees · 25/02/2024 19:29

Well done for getting home @WrenNatsworthy , how are you feeling? Hope you continue to improve.

Tilllly · 25/02/2024 19:45

Yay @WrenNatsworthy

Now you're resting, yes?

TwigTheWonderKid · 25/02/2024 19:52

Welcome home @WrenNatsworthy! Hope you are safely tucked up in your own bed with no old ladies disturbing you or anyone waking you up to do your obs.

WrenNatsworthy · 25/02/2024 23:16

I am resting, i can't do much anyway. You lovely women.

Tilllly · 26/02/2024 00:18

WrenNatsworthy · 25/02/2024 23:16

I am resting, i can't do much anyway. You lovely women.

Good

Don't want to have to send the boys round

GoldenDog1 · 26/02/2024 06:07

Glad you are home @WrenNatsworthy.

I love all the pet pics.
The lump in the bed has given me a giggle.

I am so thankful for my own two little dogs as they make me smile even my darkest moments.

SewingBees · 26/02/2024 08:24

I've just come downstairs to two dogs lying in their beds tail a-thumping to see me. It's given me a lift today, they were really good company while the rest of the family was away skiing. The youngest is a menace - would counter surf given half the chance - but also adorable with hair curly enough to match mine.

Pinchaperfect · 26/02/2024 12:39

@WrenNatsworthy Hello :-) Glad to read you are back home.

I too am also enjoying the cute pet pics. I haven't got any pets so they're cheering me up no end.

I've rung the palliative care team for help with pain, waiting for a call back.
Was manageable over the weekend, but the pain this morning has been off the chart, had to take two doses of morphine before it eased off.

ShalommJackie · 27/02/2024 09:58

Hey all :) my oncologist has approved me for surgery on Thursday to have a wide local excision and lymph node dissection. This is part of the trial I'm on. My lymph node I can feel has gone from a walnut size to a pea size so immunotherapy has done something.

I have another thread about my appalling work issue. Hope you're all ok

SewingBees · 27/02/2024 15:12

Just had the welcome news that my blue badge application has been approved. Really relieved, it's going to make a lot of things a whole lot easier, and open up some places that are currently too difficult for me to get into.

WrenNatsworthy · 27/02/2024 16:10

I am so pleased for you @SewingBees .

I'm still in bed @Tilllly but you can send some boys round anyway if you like. 🤣

@Pinchaperfect hope you're feeling in less pain lovely

I'll check out your thread
@ShalommJackie

Tilllly · 27/02/2024 16:31

ShalommJackie · 27/02/2024 09:58

Hey all :) my oncologist has approved me for surgery on Thursday to have a wide local excision and lymph node dissection. This is part of the trial I'm on. My lymph node I can feel has gone from a walnut size to a pea size so immunotherapy has done something.

I have another thread about my appalling work issue. Hope you're all ok

That is absolutely great news, your appalling work issue it's not great news, and I'm still angry

Tilllly · 27/02/2024 16:31

SewingBees · 27/02/2024 15:12

Just had the welcome news that my blue badge application has been approved. Really relieved, it's going to make a lot of things a whole lot easier, and open up some places that are currently too difficult for me to get into.

Fantastic, that is really good. I don't see how they could've refused it, but you just never know

Tilllly · 27/02/2024 16:31

Any preference @WrenNatsworthy?🤣🤣🤣

TwigTheWonderKid · 27/02/2024 17:56

Afternoon everyone.

@WrenNatsworthy glad to hear you are behaving yourself.

@Tilllly if you have any spare boys who'd like to coax me into bed I can send you my address...

@Pinchaperfect did you get any joy from the palliative care team?

@ShalommJackie great news about the surgery (though again remember the days when "great news" meant something better than having a cancerous bit of you hacked off/dug out?...) I'm sorry about your work situation. I'm feeling quite assertive at the moment so if you want me to call and shout at anyone I'm your woman.

Congrats on the Blue Badge @SewingBees; the world is now your oyster!

Tilllly · 27/02/2024 19:40

Not fussy then @TwigTheWonderKid?

George Clooney keeps begging me for introductions
I'll send him over

lucysmam · 27/02/2024 20:36

@ShalommJackie I missed your work issue but hope it's sorted now. Mine is doing my head in.

@WrenNatsworthy glad to see you're taking it easy.

@TwigTheWonderKid if you'd like someone to shout at, I can give you a loooooong ass list...and then fill the other side too!

ShalommJackie · 27/02/2024 20:47

lucysmam · 27/02/2024 20:36

@ShalommJackie I missed your work issue but hope it's sorted now. Mine is doing my head in.

@WrenNatsworthy glad to see you're taking it easy.

@TwigTheWonderKid if you'd like someone to shout at, I can give you a loooooong ass list...and then fill the other side too!

I'm off work because I put a complaint in against a senior member of the nhs, she googled my medication (one of which is anti psychotic) then asked me if she was safe to be in a room with the door with me, was I safe to work at all, am I going to go 'psycho'

Now my manager won't be in the same room as me alone and we need an independent witness because of my 'unfounded complaint'.

I'm having a big cancer surgery this Thursday and Friday there is a meeting that discusses policy changes in the government that impacts my work.

So my manager wants me to attend via zoom but it needs to be recorded in case 'you make another complaint'

I wouldn't have made a complaint if she hadn't been such a knob

ShalommJackie · 27/02/2024 20:48

Oh and they know about my cancer but emails and reminders of appointments are not good enough they want my letters to say exactly what they're for 🤦‍♀️

Tilllly · 27/02/2024 20:51

ShalommJackie · 27/02/2024 20:48

Oh and they know about my cancer but emails and reminders of appointments are not good enough they want my letters to say exactly what they're for 🤦‍♀️

So very different from my experience. I work for the public sector and they couldn't have done more for me.