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Stage IV cancer? Incurable? Roll up, roll up, this thread is for you!

998 replies

mowly77 · 05/08/2023 17:46

I’m expecting tumbleweed. But I’ve jumped over from the lovely supportive threads I’ve been on for general cancer - latest one here-

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4863468-cancer-support-thread-89-the-best-thread-that-no-one-wants-to-be-on?reply=128175880

to see if there’s any interest in a separate thread. I often feel like such a derailing buzzkill on the general cancer threads as there are so many shapes, sizes, flavours of cancer & so many different issues when you’re being treated to be cured as opposed to being treated palliatively.

And those of us unlucky enough to be incurable, and let’s face it, dead, sooner rather than later from this insidious disease, have our own concerns and darknesses. And admin. And hopefully some good days. Please, please let there be more good days.

Help, advice, dark humour and support are the aims. There are wonderful people on the cancer support threads & I often feel guilty for trauma-dumpling my tales of woe on it, to those dealing with their own, but different, bullshit.

Anyway —- come on in, the door is open. All I have to offer today are tales of woe about NHS incompetence & updates on the state of my bowels.

Here’s ‘my story’ - my bullshit story I wish wasn’t true but here we are. Please share yours if you would like.

estrogen+ BC diagnosed age 36, v aggressive, 3 tumours, 2 very large. Right mastectomy. No lymph node involvement. 5 miserable months of old school FEC poison. Then diagnosed BRCA2+. Left risk reducing mastectomy. Then crickets from the NHS. No one told me NED but indeed I had none. So for 11 years I love my life.

I give birth in 2018 to my DD, conceived via IVF, as my reproductive capabilities did not survive the FEC. Had my ovaries removed shortly after as per advice for BRCA2 patients . THEY DIDN’T BOTHER TO FURNISH ME WITH ANY ADVICE ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH SUDDEN SURGICAL MENOPAUSE WITH NO HRT THOUGH. And a baby in the mix! I’m still v cross about that.

Right when I wasn’t expecting it, when I thought I had ‘beaten’ the ten year survival rates (hahhhha, that fucker came back. After much faffing from utterly shitballs hospital trust finally diagnosed metastatic, stage 4, incurable, spread in my lungs, pleura and sternum. This was March 2022 when my daughter was 3.5

I’ve since had 15 rounds of Paclitaxel (first 3 months some shrinkage; last 3 months total failure, back where started) & then managed to get moved to Royal Marsden in London with great effort as my oncologist was so bad, so rude & she made my life a misery. I started on the ‘gentler’ regime of Palbociclib & Letrozole and whilst I was battling horrible side effects from those I had a 6 month run of clear scans and I was finally getting to grips with the treatment. Then the other shoe dropped and the bastard cancer is growing again. I’m still on Palbo & Letrozole while they test my blood for an enzyme that will determine if I can move on to Capecitabine. Which I’m terrified of! Better the devil you know.

In the meantime I’m in America with my family (who all live here) trying and failing to communicate with the NHS over email to see if I can fly home earlier than scheduled so they can see me quicker and get me on Cape asap because I’m really not doing well.

I can have a ‘good’ day if I’m dosed up to the eyeballs on Oramorph but it’s all quite exhausting & I’ve had to temporarily come off it to relieve my insane constipation and stomach issues. So now I’ve been on bed for two days. BUT it’s not all bad. I’ve been to see the Barbie since I’ve been here & been to the local pool with DD a few times & enjoyed sitting on the porch listening to the cicadas. It’s boiling hot too so am getting a break from the rain.

I’d love to hear your stories, tales of woes, worries, advice. Anything at all you want to say in this safe supportive space. There’s just so much in the mix for this stage of bastard cancer.

Page 3 | Cancer Support Thread 89 - the best thread that no one wants to be on. | Mumsnet

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45
goingcommando · 22/01/2024 22:24

@Tilllly omg!! Have you got a name??

Tilllly · 22/01/2024 22:33

Daisy 🌼

LuciaPillson · 22/01/2024 23:17

It's going to be a requirement of this thread going forward that more pictures of Daisy be posted.

Tilllly · 23/01/2024 01:14

LuciaPillson · 22/01/2024 23:17

It's going to be a requirement of this thread going forward that more pictures of Daisy be posted.

If you insist

goingcommando · 23/01/2024 01:17

@Tilllly we do!!

TwigTheWonderKid · 23/01/2024 01:33

Are we all awake then?

Tilllly · 23/01/2024 01:44

I am

Think I might treat myself to some paracetamol

Tilllly · 23/01/2024 01:45

Someone is keeping me company

Stage IV cancer? Incurable? Roll up, roll up, this thread is for you!
TwigTheWonderKid · 23/01/2024 02:05

I've just taken some too.

Smudge is snuggling.

Stage IV cancer? Incurable? Roll up, roll up, this thread is for you!
Tilllly · 23/01/2024 02:58

Awww Smudge 😻

Watching Sarah millican FB videos

TwigTheWonderKid · 23/01/2024 08:01

Did you manage to get some sleep @Tilllly ?

Tilllly · 23/01/2024 08:05

4.5 hours according to my Fitbit
You @TwigTheWonderKid ?

WrenNatsworthy · 23/01/2024 17:33

Daisy is ADORABLE!

Had my Mri of brain this morning at a unit I'd never been to before outside of the main hospital that's partly funded by a charitable foundation. They were very nice. I have never been allowed to listen to music at MRIs and gave up asking. They actually asked me if I'd like the radio on! I was stifling laughter when the first song that came on was 'I've had the time of my life'. Oh the irony...

Cyberknife team are meeting tomorrow so I am praying that my brain mets are zappable.

TwigTheWonderKid · 23/01/2024 17:40

@Tilllly same as you!

TwigTheWonderKid · 23/01/2024 17:49

@WrenNatsworthy can't believe you've never been offered music before though I gave up on that after my first scan, between the ear plugs and the banging of the machine I couldn't concentrate on it. However, the rhythmic banging always sends me to sleep!

Fingers and everything crossed that you'll get to wear that crazy looking Cyberknife headgear and get the buggers zapped.

Tilllly · 23/01/2024 19:07

WrenNatsworthy · 23/01/2024 17:33

Daisy is ADORABLE!

Had my Mri of brain this morning at a unit I'd never been to before outside of the main hospital that's partly funded by a charitable foundation. They were very nice. I have never been allowed to listen to music at MRIs and gave up asking. They actually asked me if I'd like the radio on! I was stifling laughter when the first song that came on was 'I've had the time of my life'. Oh the irony...

Cyberknife team are meeting tomorrow so I am praying that my brain mets are zappable.

Am 2 days behind you
Will see on Thursday if brain team can gamma knife my mets

Tilllly · 23/01/2024 19:08

TwigTheWonderKid · 23/01/2024 17:40

@Tilllly same as you!

2 nights running

And I've done 19000 and 17000 steps. I should sleep 10 hours!!!

Tilllly · 23/01/2024 19:08

goingcommando · 23/01/2024 01:17

@Tilllly we do!!

Well then I'll force myself to post Daisy drools

TwigTheWonderKid · 23/01/2024 19:27

Tilllly · 23/01/2024 19:08

2 nights running

And I've done 19000 and 17000 steps. I should sleep 10 hours!!!

We are twins! Sunday night was even worse for me!

I've been into work today for the first time since May. Am hoping that will have worn me out enough to have a better night tonight.

Tilllly · 23/01/2024 19:52

Fingers crossed

If not, see you in the cafe at 3am!

goingcommando · 24/01/2024 00:14

Had a nice bath tonight until the puppy jumped onto the loo and then jumped into the bath... look at the puddles by her feet 🤣🤣

Stage IV cancer? Incurable? Roll up, roll up, this thread is for you!
Tilllly · 24/01/2024 01:34

🤣🤣🤣
Daft pup!

TwigTheWonderKid · 24/01/2024 07:55

Aww soggy doggy!

@Tilllly how was your night? I woke up about a million times but went straight back to sleep. Such a treat! Though I must have had a restless night; when I woke up I'd managed to get my PICC line cover off and the covering from the lumen. Goodness knows what I was dreaming about!

My GP called me yesterday and has booked me in for a double appointment on Monday to basically see how I am. I've had phone calls before from them to check how I am but this is new. Do other GPs do this?

Tilllly · 24/01/2024 08:14

@TwigTheWonderKid

My GP does, yes
Anything you want to discuss basically, but mine checked home set up was ok
Any med check, changes
Anything I didn't understand
Anything at hospital they needed to "get involved in" - ie light a fire under

I did 2.5 hrs asleep, 2.5 awake, 2.5 asleep!

WrenNatsworthy · 24/01/2024 11:38

TwigTheWonderKid · 23/01/2024 17:49

@WrenNatsworthy can't believe you've never been offered music before though I gave up on that after my first scan, between the ear plugs and the banging of the machine I couldn't concentrate on it. However, the rhythmic banging always sends me to sleep!

Fingers and everything crossed that you'll get to wear that crazy looking Cyberknife headgear and get the buggers zapped.

I know, I've had a gazillion MRIs, and for the first few I'd arrive clutching a cd hopefully, and always been told no, in case I don't hear the breathing instructions.

No breathing for brain scan apart from the usual, and a young lively radiographer.

@Tilllly the stars will align for us, I won't have it any other way.

Keep the puppy pics coming everyone.