Please or to access all these features

Life-limiting illness

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Stage IV cancer? Incurable? Roll up, roll up, this thread is for you!

998 replies

mowly77 · 05/08/2023 17:46

I’m expecting tumbleweed. But I’ve jumped over from the lovely supportive threads I’ve been on for general cancer - latest one here-

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4863468-cancer-support-thread-89-the-best-thread-that-no-one-wants-to-be-on?reply=128175880

to see if there’s any interest in a separate thread. I often feel like such a derailing buzzkill on the general cancer threads as there are so many shapes, sizes, flavours of cancer & so many different issues when you’re being treated to be cured as opposed to being treated palliatively.

And those of us unlucky enough to be incurable, and let’s face it, dead, sooner rather than later from this insidious disease, have our own concerns and darknesses. And admin. And hopefully some good days. Please, please let there be more good days.

Help, advice, dark humour and support are the aims. There are wonderful people on the cancer support threads & I often feel guilty for trauma-dumpling my tales of woe on it, to those dealing with their own, but different, bullshit.

Anyway —- come on in, the door is open. All I have to offer today are tales of woe about NHS incompetence & updates on the state of my bowels.

Here’s ‘my story’ - my bullshit story I wish wasn’t true but here we are. Please share yours if you would like.

estrogen+ BC diagnosed age 36, v aggressive, 3 tumours, 2 very large. Right mastectomy. No lymph node involvement. 5 miserable months of old school FEC poison. Then diagnosed BRCA2+. Left risk reducing mastectomy. Then crickets from the NHS. No one told me NED but indeed I had none. So for 11 years I love my life.

I give birth in 2018 to my DD, conceived via IVF, as my reproductive capabilities did not survive the FEC. Had my ovaries removed shortly after as per advice for BRCA2 patients . THEY DIDN’T BOTHER TO FURNISH ME WITH ANY ADVICE ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH SUDDEN SURGICAL MENOPAUSE WITH NO HRT THOUGH. And a baby in the mix! I’m still v cross about that.

Right when I wasn’t expecting it, when I thought I had ‘beaten’ the ten year survival rates (hahhhha, that fucker came back. After much faffing from utterly shitballs hospital trust finally diagnosed metastatic, stage 4, incurable, spread in my lungs, pleura and sternum. This was March 2022 when my daughter was 3.5

I’ve since had 15 rounds of Paclitaxel (first 3 months some shrinkage; last 3 months total failure, back where started) & then managed to get moved to Royal Marsden in London with great effort as my oncologist was so bad, so rude & she made my life a misery. I started on the ‘gentler’ regime of Palbociclib & Letrozole and whilst I was battling horrible side effects from those I had a 6 month run of clear scans and I was finally getting to grips with the treatment. Then the other shoe dropped and the bastard cancer is growing again. I’m still on Palbo & Letrozole while they test my blood for an enzyme that will determine if I can move on to Capecitabine. Which I’m terrified of! Better the devil you know.

In the meantime I’m in America with my family (who all live here) trying and failing to communicate with the NHS over email to see if I can fly home earlier than scheduled so they can see me quicker and get me on Cape asap because I’m really not doing well.

I can have a ‘good’ day if I’m dosed up to the eyeballs on Oramorph but it’s all quite exhausting & I’ve had to temporarily come off it to relieve my insane constipation and stomach issues. So now I’ve been on bed for two days. BUT it’s not all bad. I’ve been to see the Barbie since I’ve been here & been to the local pool with DD a few times & enjoyed sitting on the porch listening to the cicadas. It’s boiling hot too so am getting a break from the rain.

I’d love to hear your stories, tales of woes, worries, advice. Anything at all you want to say in this safe supportive space. There’s just so much in the mix for this stage of bastard cancer.

Page 3 | Cancer Support Thread 89 - the best thread that no one wants to be on. | Mumsnet

New page

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4863468-cancer-support-thread-89-the-best-thread-that-no-one-wants-to-be-on?reply=128175880

OP posts:
Thread gallery
45
goingcommando · 19/01/2024 20:11

Hi everyone I have stage 4 melanoma. I progressed whilst on immunotherapy and so I have a type of targeted therapy now to hopefully nuke the tumours I have but I'm not sharing my oncologists optimism tbh. I found out I progressed last week and I'm starting the tablets tomorrow

I work in a cancer hospital that does Hipec surgery and I've seen how incredible it is but I'm not eligible for that at the moment. Apparently they're trialling it for late stage peritoneal spread of melanoma so we shall see. I'd be operated on by my team which is weird tbh!

Tilllly · 19/01/2024 22:44

@LuciaPillson
Going to meet my potential puppy on Sunday

TwigTheWonderKid · 19/01/2024 22:58

@goingcommando welcome to the thread. Obviously not a place you'd choose to be but filled with amazing, supportive women who, despite our different cancers, all get what you are going through.

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Which tablets are you starting tomorrow.

I have stage 4 appendix cancer which has spread to my ovaries, colon and peritoneum. I have had 8 rounds of CAPOX chemo and had a CT scan this week which will be sent to Basingstoke to see if I am a candidate for CRS and HIPEC.

goingcommando · 19/01/2024 23:12

@TwigTheWonderKid oh wow, I hope you get the go ahead for hipec.

My tablets are dabrafenib and Trametinib they search for a certain protein my cancer secretes and kills it. It has good results and you can only have it if you have a braf + melanoma which I do. I just don't want to get my hopes up

RedRosesPinkLilies · 19/01/2024 23:35

@goingcommando - it’s ok to not get your hopes up. But stay positive in yourself and enjoy the little things in life. Don’t let cancer take everything x

TwigTheWonderKid · 20/01/2024 00:31

@goingcommando I think not getting your hopes up is literally the only way to go with a stage 4 cancer as good or bad, you never know what's coming next. I'm pretty good at denial and compartmentalising stuff most of the time and find it helps me.

Do you mind me asking which hospital you work in?

goingcommando · 20/01/2024 00:51

@TwigTheWonderKid yeah of course, it's the Christie. I've heard really good things about Basingstoke though! Their team came up to Manchester and showed us some things after we'd been there to do training.

Denial and compartmentalising is my friend too ! Oh and champagne

TwigTheWonderKid · 20/01/2024 01:24

@goingcommando my oncologist told me Basingstoke and The Christie are the only 2 NHS hospitals that do this surgery. Fingers crossed that we both get accepted.

Your current treatment sounds interesting. There are so many fascinating developments at the moment; chemo seems like such a sledgehammer/nut approach in comparison. But I agree; champagne, or in my case, right now, a decent Cava definitely helps!

Tilllly · 20/01/2024 04:10

👋🏻 @goingcommando

Always seems wrong to welcome someone to the cancer threads, but you're welcome even tho I wish you weren't here ☺️

I had BC in 21. Now lung cancer, inoperable and too widespread and advanced for radio, so on chemo and immuno
Now got a couple of mets in brain, looking at gamma knife at Leeds for those fuckers
Waiting on CT of chest and abdomen to see if the bloody thing has spread further

Iaspo · 20/01/2024 07:45

Another newbie here, just been diagnosed with brain tumour. No biopsy yet but from the scans it’s presenting as glioblastoma. Veering between being numb and terrified at the moment…

Tilllly · 20/01/2024 09:00

how totally terrifying for you, I'm so sorry to hear this

The waiting is the absolutely worst part

Tilllly · 20/01/2024 09:02

In general health, there's "cancer support thread92" which is a little busier
This one is more for stage 4
You are of course welcome on both and there is some cross over

TwigTheWonderKid · 20/01/2024 09:19

Welcome @Iaspo So sorry you find yourself here. It's the thread no one wants to be on but we are all a really supportive group.

It's a time of very mixed emotions. Everyone says the waiting for the final diagnosis and treatment plan is the worst bit. I think that's true to a certain extent and once you are in the system and know what's going to happen it does help but of course this kind of diagnosis brings an ongoing rollercoaster of emotions. We all get quite good a a bit of denial and compartmentalising.

As Tilllly says, this board is a bit quieter than the general cancer thread but we all check in regularly.

balkanscot · 20/01/2024 10:59

@Iaspo I am so sorry you are going through this insanely anxious waiting. It’s hard for your head not to speculate. It may not be glioblastoma (which is a stage 4), rooting for you it isn’t. There are so many other brain tumours other than GBM. Keeping everything crossed for you.

Iaspo · 20/01/2024 11:06

Thanks for the welcome and sorry if I’m in the wrong place. Sitting here waiting for neurosurgery to call with scan results / update. Call was meant to be at 10am and still nothing…..

TwigTheWonderKid · 20/01/2024 11:50

@Iaspo don't apologise. Here's hoping you are in the "wrong" place and can inhabit the general cancer thread but if not, we are all here for you.

Tilllly · 20/01/2024 12:32

@laspo nothing to apologise for

Let us know how you get on, I hope it's better results than expected

WrenNatsworthy · 21/01/2024 12:27

Welcome @goingcommando and sorry you're here. I have Ocular Melanoma - primary was in the eye - but before it was discovered and I had my eye removed in 2019 it sent out secret cells. Mets were properly confirmed in my liver in Dec 20. Had some successful liver directed treatment but it's now in my lungs, kidneys, tummy, and brain.

MRI is booked for Tuesday morning, fast work Birmingham QE, thank you! Hopefully the brain mets can be attacked by cyberknife as Birmingham has the machine. MRI will ascertain suitability so hopefully that can happen.

I can wash my hair today, happy days. Then going out for a drive with my beloved DH and our beloved campervan which I'm no longer allowed to drive, waaaaaah.

How is everyone? What's the best key lime pie recipe?

PS Hi @Iaspo I hope your results were good.

WrenNatsworthy · 22/01/2024 13:47

Tilllly · 19/01/2024 22:44

@LuciaPillson
Going to meet my potential puppy on Sunday

How was the puppy meet?

Tilllly · 22/01/2024 16:11

@WrenNatsworthy

Stage IV cancer? Incurable? Roll up, roll up, this thread is for you!
Stage IV cancer? Incurable? Roll up, roll up, this thread is for you!
EachandEveryone · 22/01/2024 16:47

Oh my goodness!!! Just gorgeous

LuciaPillson · 22/01/2024 17:17

🐶😍

TwigTheWonderKid · 22/01/2024 20:11

That tummy!

Tilllly · 22/01/2024 20:56

I know @TwigTheWonderKid
Little barrel 😍