Pamela - Bile Duct Cancer (last thread pancreatic and liver)

[WilsonMilson]

Hi everyone, I’ve created a new thread as I am overwhelmed to see that the last one is full. You have all filled me up with your hope and encouragement. I’m keeping going as long as I possibly can!!

I have a massive decision to make by tomorrow morning.

Spoke to Prof Bridgewater tonight on teams. He is just the most wonderful oncologist, honestly the only person who has given me any hope at all in this utter farce.

He has said if I stay here it’s basically a death sentence, maybe a few weeks, probably less. They have clearly decided I’m not for chemo and perhaps I might find I need to accept that and maybe that’s best because I get to be comfortable at home with my family. He also disagrees with their mode of stenting.

Alternative, I go to London tomorrow. Get bed in Harley Street. His surgeon stents me on Friday and all being ok, chemo starts next week. Absolutely no guarantees as he agrees the latest CT scan is really really bad. But it’s a chance. It’s more than I have here.

So it’s a peaceful(ish) death at home or a chance or perhaps life and time (or also maybe death) in London.

My friend has said we can stay with her, well Kerr will as I will be in hospital although he’ll be with me mostly I imagine. I would just have to try to fly commercial as it’s too much juggling to organise private flights by tomorrow and would ask for wheelchair assistance and get a car to and from airport of course.

I just do not know what to do. Hardest decision of my life. Should I just go? Would my family always wonder what if? Jacob’s gut feeling is to go, but he just wants me to live, my mum is on the fence as she see’s how ill I am. Kerr is for going as he just can’t bear the futility of the situation here. I’m in a total flummox.

Oh Pamela, I think you should go, it's going to be so hard but London sounds so much more hopeful. Sending every bit of strength to you xxx 💕

Easy for me to say I know but go. Please go x

GO! GO! GO! Please Pamela, go. Go and give yourself the chance. For you, for Kerr, for Jacob x

Oh goodness, my gut feeling would be to go. Hope is so precious and even if it is just a glimmer. But only you can make this awful, awful decision.

Go Pamela. You’ve got to give yourself this chance. At least you’ll know you tried everything. Sending love and hope from a fellow pancreatic cancer patient who was also badly let down by the NHS 💜

Go! If you have one ounce of fight left in you please go! I believe you can get there x

Go if you possibly can. A stent would relieve your symptoms and give you a better quality of life for the time you have left even if nothing else helped.

I agree with this. I know its so easy for us to say but I'm so hoping you go. I cannot believe how awful your experience has been, appalling. I'm glad you've got the London doctor on your side.

I never post on these threads, and you have to do what your heart and gut tells you (and whatever decision you make is yours alone, and will be the right one for you) but… I would go if it’s at all possible. You’re young and you deserve a chance to live.

Hi Pamela, I've been following your thread and thinking about you a lot. I also think you should go – I know it's very easy to say that when none of us are in your situation, but it sounds like the London doctor has hope. Sending lots of good wishes to you and your family

Please go x 💕

Can any of us help with the logistics? Getting you from A to B?

I'm probably useless as in Lancashire - but others can maybe help? Xx

Can Jacob go with you? I wouldn't want you to miss this time with him.

Pamela if you can go please go. Give yourself a chance x

Sending you all my strength to make the trip tomorrow.xx

The love of thousands of Mumsneters will be with you, helping you over the Irish Sea. I can just see your plane with thousands of hands under it, holding you xxx

All of you…. Go ❤️

Dig deep and grit everything and get here if you can
I believe its your best chance of more time or at least to be pain free and looked after!!

Hi Pamela
Me again...do what you think is best. Of course everyone will have different views but this is your life and you need to do whatever you think is the best.
I wish you strength and fortitude. X

Pamela, please go you have a chance. If my DDad had been given this option I would have wanted him to go, even if it just meant spending more time with him.

You are so brave and strong and you have my utmost admiration.

Sending you lots of love and strength

Pamela, I have read both of your threads and I am in disbelief that this is happening to you. I am so sorry that you have to endure this.

Good luck with whatever hard decision you make. I just wanted to know that I am sending you love and strength, and thinking of you.

I can also see that you are a LFC fan like me too. :) I am originally from Liverpool but now live in Canada.

Much love xx

Oh sweetheart what a decision. I think you should go. It’s worth one last roll of the dice I think, although I appreciate it’s easy for me to say x

Hi Pamela

Try and get pain relief before you make the journey. I really think you should go, there is still hope. Love and prayers to you

Pamela you sound like such a lovely person 😍this is such a terrible reflection of our health service in Norrhern Ireland....this story is just so needless and tragic. Go to London. Wishing you alllll the luck..you so deserve a chance.