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Pamela - Bile Duct Cancer (last thread pancreatic and liver)

1000 replies

WilsonMilson · 30/06/2023 18:19

Hi everyone, I’ve created a new thread as I am overwhelmed to see that the last one is full. You have all filled me up with your hope and encouragement. I’m keeping going as long as I possibly can!!

OP posts:
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16
Thisweeksname · 04/07/2023 12:33

I hope today goes well and you get a positive plan for action. I will say a prayer for you and your lovely family 🌺

Sodthebloodypicnic · 04/07/2023 12:34

Thinking of you all today Pamela xxx

Iloveringos · 04/07/2023 13:28

Good luck for today Pamela here's hoping something will be sorted quickly for you xxx

Theonlyoneiknow · 04/07/2023 13:33

Sending so much love to you and your family Pamela. Thank you for updating us XXXX

spiderlight · 04/07/2023 14:03

I hope today goes well and/or that you manage to get to London.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 04/07/2023 14:22

You are very much in my thoughts Pamela as you go to see Dr Vass, and I'm praying he is understanding and positive
You really are fighting with all your might this horrific disease
Much love to you Kerr and Jacob
Judith in Wiltshire

Lougle · 04/07/2023 14:33

Thinking of you and praying for you this afternoon, Pamela. I hope Mr Vass has a fantastic plan. Don't lose hope.

CashmereDarling · 04/07/2023 15:02

Oh Pamela...if you do go to London I can come and bring you grapes and rude cards! I work about 5 mins away.
Happy to bring whatever you need.

That said, I really hope it goes well this afternoon 🤞

WilsonMilson · 04/07/2023 15:49

Well it was just monumentally shit. I am between disbelief, anger, feeling utterly patronised, disappointed and generally just entirely let down and as if I’ve just been sent home to die after their incompetence over the last 7 weeks.

I’ve had a pretty awful day anyway, my sweats are getting so bad and constant and the pain level this morning was beyond anything I’ve had to far, I was literally on all fours wailing like a wounded animal for an hour. That’s besides the point though, it did pass eventually and I just want to talk about this meeting.

So first we met a new clinical nurse specialise who works in Belfast, she smiled at me in that pitying, patronising way that you just know bad news is coming. I had to go on a wheelchair as there was absolutely no way my legs were carrying me from the car park to the office on the other side of the hospital. I doubt that gave a great impression of my vigour and vitality.

20 mins late, Mr Vass saw us. He also had that pitying bad news look and soothing voiced lack of action demeanour that suggested things were even worse than I thought. And they were. The CT scan taken on Thursday before I left the hospital shows the tumour is now basically taking over my entire liver with resultant extreme pain and jaundice, my liver is really not working at all now. I put it to him that the stay in Antrim with IV antibiotics was completely useless and he entirely agreed. So that was 6 days of total waste, being filled with poison that didn’t help me at all and actively weakened my condition, all the while they could have been stenting me in Belfast. Just unbelievable. Also spoke about the 7 week delay and how much worse I am now than then, and I’m YET to meet a freaking oncologist (Vass is a surgeon). It almost seems unreal. Surely I have cause for complaint? But what is actually the point?

He said they would attempt a stent on Monday 10th (so another 6 days), sounds like good news, right? Well, he was was not at all positive about the situation and said that there were absolutely no guarantees it would work given the state of my liver, and even if it did it might not work for long. Sounded like a last ditch attempt to do something.

He also said that I’m clearly currently not fit enough for chemotherapy at this point and looked like he doubted I ever would be. To be honest, I’m not at the moment. I know I’m not. I can barely walk to the bathroom. But I’m 45 years old, you’d think they would fight for me, not just write me off.

We left with no positive plan apart from stent and see on Monday, no direction and no hope. It was truly a miserable and negative affair.

Kerr has sent off the latest CT scan report to Dr Bridgwater and we need to think about what we are doing. On one hand maybe London might give me some hope, but I feel so weak and frankly totally and utterly shit after today that the thought of leaving my home is just so upsetting that I don’t want to. I just want to curl up in a corner.

They also spoke about hospice and pain management and that should be in action by tomorrow. Apparently they come to me. I would like that to happen as I cannot continue to endure like this, the last couple of days have been truly a test of my mettle, and I’ve been found very wanting at times.

I just feel so shocked and defeated, I’m sorry, I feel like they have given up on me. The new CT scan was so awful that I feel like giving up too. I hate saying that as you’re all so supportive and positive, but this has been a truly bleak day. I guess at least maybe the stent, I don’t know, I don’t think I know anything anymore. I don’t really feel I can write anymore just now as I’m crying here and I feel like this has been the most painful of things to write, but maybe it’s better to be real than to be fake positive.

OP posts:
FlamingoQueen · 04/07/2023 15:54

I was thinking of you earlier and hoped you may have had a glimmer of hope. It does sound like they’re not doing enough for you and that must be just so frustrating. I don’t really know what else to say apart from sending you hugs x

loislovesstewie · 04/07/2023 15:55

I'm so sorry. I really can't think of any words of comfort for you, you are however in my thoughts all the time. I hope another,much more clever than me, can think of the words. I shall hold you in my heart tonight, and send much love,
Sarah on the Yorkshire coast.

notawittyname1954 · 04/07/2023 15:58

Was really wishing for you that today's meeting would offer some help. I am so sorry.

Lougle · 04/07/2023 15:58

@WilsonMilson Pamela, you aren't giving up on anyone. You don't owe anyone positivity. You are living through this. I hope you can get a realistic view of how much the stent procedure will help you and how much it will cost you. That might help you plan next steps. Your comfort has got to be the priority here, I think.

WeirdWithNoBeard · 04/07/2023 16:00

Awful, awful news

cannot believe the pain you are left in, has your GP at least not prescribed morphine! shocking if not

CatkinToadflax · 04/07/2023 16:05

I’m so sorry to read this, dear Pamela. Sending a gentle hug and virtual flowers.

Your username has always made me smile - love FND and Jim!

I hope the coming days can find you physical and emotional comfort and a plan that you’re happy with. x

OhFFS! · 04/07/2023 16:08

Nothing helpful to add but just sending Flowers

CrotchetyQuaver · 04/07/2023 16:10

Oh that's very bad news Pamela, you've been messed about very badly. That really sucks. It does sound like there's not a lot they can do for you now.

I have no suggestions but I do hope the hospice can sort out your pain, they are the specialists at that.
Sending you all much love
Penny xx

SwordBilledHummingbird · 04/07/2023 16:15

I'm so sorry Pamela, how utterly crap of them. I'm hoping with everything I have that you're able to get to London and start treatment there.

99redballoons123 · 04/07/2023 16:16

I'm so sorry Pamela. You owe no one positivity - it's awful it really is. Rage, scream, and cry - whatever you you need.
We are all here thinking of you. Xx

ticktock19 · 04/07/2023 16:27

Hi Pamela, I have no real words but I'm just filled with immense sorrow and rage at the lack of compassion and urgency in commencing treatment you have been exposed to. We're all here to listen to whatever you need to express or to help you in any way possible

SquirrelSoShiny · 04/07/2023 16:28

Pamela sending you all the love. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You have been treated disgracefully and I'm getting the impression this is now common in Northern Ireland. Hopefully the Hospice team can get on top of your pain etc quickly which will give you space to think about the coming weeks and decide what you want to do about London x

TheNinthLock · 04/07/2023 16:29

Oh Pamela, I am so so sorry ❤️

Vetoncall · 04/07/2023 16:31

I'm so sorry Pamela, I can't believe how much you've been messed around and the lack of urgency in your treatment, it's horrifying. The system here in NI is completely broken. Still thinking about you every day, nothing I've ever read on MN has moved me as much as your story. I hope they are out to get your pain management actioned ASAP.

Twinsmummy1812 · 04/07/2023 16:31

You are being made to live everyone’s worst fears and I am truly sorry. I know the NHS is struggling but I really thought they would come through in an emergency. And this is an emergency. I hope you hear back from London with better news and I hope they sort your pain asap. I would be banging down doors and screaming if one of my pets was suffering like you, let alone a human being and I’m so sorry you have been so let down. Caroline x

Iloveringos · 04/07/2023 16:31

We are all hear for you, please know that and we will help in whatever way we can, lots of love xx

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