Pancreatic and liver cancer

[WilsonMilson]

Diagnosed today. I can’t believe it. I thought I had gallstones. The liver tumour is already 7cm, I can’t even remember what the pancreatic one was, it’s on the head of the pancreas. They did more CT scans to see further spread but I don’t have those results yet.
I just am in a blur.
My pain has been getting really bad the last few days and I’m worried this is it. I will have a meeting probably next week to discuss the plan for treatment -if any.

I’m not ready. I’m 45. I have a son and a lovely husband. I have elderly parents.

I’ve gone into hyper organisation mode. It’s madness really, but tonight I bought birthday cards for my son, husband and mum for the next 4 years. I’ve been transferring money to different accounts to make it more accessible. I’ve emailed my son’s school, I’ve started writing to do lists.

My mum is flying in on Friday and will stay with me. I’m just so devastated and so sorry for my poor son and husband. I cannot believe this.

Thank you for sharing your beautiful photos, you look like such a lovely family. As others have said please please please get a hospice referral as they really should be able to get the pain under control. I’m sorry to say I have 2 close friends who have had cancer recently and both times we had to fight for basic pain management with the hospital (and we are not naturally confrontational people) but once they were under the hospice, they took charge and wanted for nothing. I can clearly remember my friends in the exact circumstances you are in right now, the frustration, the horror of the pain and wanted to die rather than feel like that xxx

Beautiful photos. Jacob is in my DCs year at school. He’s a credit to you and your husband. Sending prayers x

So sorry to read your update Pamela, as everyone has said the photographs are wonderful, such a gorgeous family and you are beautiful, really hope that you get some pain relief asap, its so unfair how life has turned for you 💕💕💕

Thank you so much for the photos Pamela. You are a rare beauty! All your family are beautiful.
I was so angry earlier I didn[t post. I think you have been treate so badly. But I am not dwelling on that, hopefully Kerr is on the phone now.

This is NOT the end. It is probably the BEGINNING of treatment but you feel in such pain you understandably feel you cannot carry on.

Hope hope hope the bloody doctors finally get back today with a plan.

This is so heartbreaking and I'm so angry on your behalf, nobody should be sent home to suffer like this. Echoing the other posters, Pamela, I hope Kerr can get you some better pain relief and I hope it goes without saying that I wholeheartedly pray that the end is nowhere near as close as you think it is - I hope hope hope like another poster said that once you have a stent things will change for the better. Is the meeting still going ahead today? I can't believe how slow it's been, medical care in this country (despite the wonderful, wonderful people who work within our NHS) has really gone downhill. I'm not using this as an excuse to derail and slate btw just expressing my frustration at how you're having to suffer Pamela. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Oh goodness - what a beautiful family you are. So sorry you've been sent home with your pain and nausea uncontrolled. I can only echo the posts above about Kerr contacting your local hospice/palliative care team to see if they can make you more comfortable. Thinking of you and sending a handhold across the water from Wales.

What a beautiful family you are. That is the person you will always be to your family.

Beautiful photos, wishing you and your family fortitude xxx

What a beautiful family you are. I'm always checking in to see how you are doing and I'm so sorry to hear your recent update. I'm not religious but I have started to pray for you each night and I hold you close in my thoughts ❤️

Pamela, thank you for everything you have shared on this thread. You have touched everyone's heart for so many reasons - your love for your family, your honesty about your hopes and fears. You are a very talented writer. I am thinking of you, Kerr, Jacob and the rest of your family. Sending you strength and peace all the way from Australia! Emily ❤❤

Hello Pamela
I saw your photos before I read your update. You are a beautiful woman and I echo what everyone else has said about how, after time admittedly, I remember my loved one as the vibrant and gorgeous girl she was.
And all that doesn't mean you are about to go: as others have said I just want to allay your fears.
Wishing you strength and sending you much love ❤️

We have posters sending you love in:

Wales
England
Eire
NI
Austria
Australia
Spain
France
Germany
Canada
America
Scotland
Italy

... anywhere else?!

beautiful photos - I am sorry you feel so bad, how shit for you 😥
you can see the love you ahve in your family, as others say, get Kerr on
to the hospice or Macmillans for some extra support

much love

What a lovely family you are 💜

I am so sorry to read your update and actually very shocked at what you are having to go through.

Oh love. Just echoing what all the others are saying with the pain management. Who is looking after you??? Sending love to you and your beautiful family. You are stunning inside and out xxx

Dearest Pamela,

Keep fighting. Please.

If they fit a stent it could buy you some more time.

I'm shocked and furious there has been no progress. It's 2023, no one should have to suffer.

You are too tired to fight but Kerr could kick up a sink!

You are all a gorgeous family. I'd not have the guts to put a photo up, this shows how brave you are.

Sending love xx

Sending you love, Pamela (you’ve been sent so much from around the world you must be running out of space to stash it all by now!).

The internet is often such a horrible, negative place, but you can genuinely feel the outpouring of love and kindness here in this space you’ve created. You’re a beautiful woman and a beautiful soul, and it’s a privilege to be here with you.

Sending you and your beautiful family so so much love 💕

Oh what beautiful photos! Sending love and hope that this cruel pain will ease.

What a beautiful family.
I've been reading your updates and your honesty is breathtaking, in a good way. I don't know what is in store for you but I will send you positive vibes (I don't do prayers) for the best outcome for you all.

What a beautiful family you are!

Im so sorry you're feeling so wretched. I'm praying for you for some relief from the pain, and a positive plan following the MDT meeting today.

So many people are on your side as you go through this, I hope it gives you some comfort.

USA.

Hi Pamela, I've just read your thread. I am so sorry you are going through all of this, it sounds unbelievably hard I cannot even comprehend what you and your family are dealing with.

Those pictures really are lovely, you're a beautiful family. I am sending all my love, hugs and positive thoughts your way.

Praying for you and your lovely family ❤a hospice can really help when it comes to pain relief, they are so much better managed than hospitals. I hope proper pain management is arranged very soon, I’m angry on your behalf at the long delays at the hospital.

Please know that your family and friends will always think of you as the fabulous person you are. 🌺

What lovely photos. I hope you get your pain sorted quickly. I’m afraid that my own cancer diagnosis and treatment has left a lot to be desired too. You don’t really believe it would be this mismanaged until it happens to you. I wish you lots of peace in the time ahead. I think of you every day. Julia in London.