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Original poster

Pancreatic and liver cancer

1000 replies

WilsonMilson · 17/05/2023 22:49

Diagnosed today. I can’t believe it. I thought I had gallstones. The liver tumour is already 7cm, I can’t even remember what the pancreatic one was, it’s on the head of the pancreas. They did more CT scans to see further spread but I don’t have those results yet.
I just am in a blur.
My pain has been getting really bad the last few days and I’m worried this is it. I will have a meeting probably next week to discuss the plan for treatment -if any.

I’m not ready. I’m 45. I have a son and a lovely husband. I have elderly parents.

I’ve gone into hyper organisation mode. It’s madness really, but tonight I bought birthday cards for my son, husband and mum for the next 4 years. I’ve been transferring money to different accounts to make it more accessible. I’ve emailed my son’s school, I’ve started writing to do lists.

My mum is flying in on Friday and will stay with me. I’m just so devastated and so sorry for my poor son and husband. I cannot believe this.

OP posts:
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AutisticLegoLover · 30/06/2023 12:08

They need to get your pain sorted. You'd feel better for that. No one should be in a pain. I'm a former nurse and pain relief was my passion. Get Kerr to contact the GP or hospice and get you on the good drugs. You shouldn't be left in this pain. If you were my patient I'd be raising help for you x

ZickZack · 30/06/2023 12:09

Such a gorgeous family❤️

OhFFS! · 30/06/2023 12:10

Such beautiful photos.

waterlego · 30/06/2023 12:11

Absolutely beautiful photos Pamela. I feel honoured that you decided to share them with us- thank you.

I can only speak from my own experience of seeing both of my parents suffer with cancer, and I will be honest with you. Initially, in the first weeks, I did often remember with deep sadness how my parents were at the end. My mum in particular was very very thin and was in a lot of pain. Those images came back to me for a while. But over time (and not a very long time at all), those were replaced by memories of her as she was before. She had been a very dynamic, energetic person; very funny, very sweet, much loved. A busy bee always laughing and chatting and dancing. Those were the memories that came rushing in to take the place of the ones that troubled me.

I would now have to think very hard to remember her how she was at the end, because it was such a small blip of time against the landscape of all the years I had know and loved her.

Iloveringos · 30/06/2023 12:11

Beautiful photos, what a gorgeous family, thank you for sharing them with us all. I'm so sorry you are in such much pain and discomfort, please, please get an emergency call out from your doctors to sort out your pain, you can't suffer like this xx

loislovesstewie · 30/06/2023 12:14

What lovely photos. You will be remembered as the beautiful lady you are, both physically a beauty but also with a beautiful personality. Much love and hugs

waterlego · 30/06/2023 12:16

Just reread my post and realise I talked about being ‘at the end’. Please know I’m not making any assumptions about where you are on this journey with your illness- and I know very little about medical things. But it sounded in your post as though you are feeling like that is where you are, so my post was a response to that. Of course, I hope this is not the end of the line for you and that someone will step in to help you manage your pain and give you some more time with your loved ones.

Atishoos · 30/06/2023 12:17

I have no words. You are all beautiful and especially you Pamela. The love you all share shines through.

ticktock19 · 30/06/2023 12:21

Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry that things are currently the way they are. Such absolutely beautiful pictures and so much love in them. My love to you all

Sunglassescase · 30/06/2023 12:23

Oh such beautiful beautiful happy photographs, such a lovely family. This is just dreadful that you are suffering like this, we're all praying that you get the help you so deserve. So many people thinking and hoping for you xxxxx

Peakypolly · 30/06/2023 12:27

Breathtakingly lovely photo's. My father died of pancreatic cancer when I was 18 and I have only wonderful thoughts of him (and hate for the disease)
Pamela, you know how truly loved you are and that is so important.

Wishimaywishimight · 30/06/2023 12:30

Pamela, what an absolutely beautiful family and what a gorgeous woman you are. I am so sorry for your suffering, it is dreadful that you are in pain like this.

As others say, please get in touch with your nearest hospice. I am another who can attest to their kindness and compassion, they will make it their mission to get you comfortable again.

For what it's worth, I can promise you that Kerr and Jacob have a lifetime of memories of you to draw upon should they need to do so. These weeks, though horrendous for you all, are fleeting and only a tiny part of your life and your lives together. I think, in truly difficult times, our mind tries to protect us. I know that when I think of my dad now I remember him in full health, the days of his illness only come to mind very occasionally and I just let those thoughts drift on by, they are no longer important. What matters most is the love I felt, and still feel, for him, every single day.

Thinking of you and your family and wishing you some peace. Debs.

Bossyboo · 30/06/2023 12:32

I too have been following from the beginning and hoping and praying for you and your beautiful family. You really are a beautiful family as well!
Echo the people saying better pain relief now for you. You don't need to be in this pain - there are things that can be done today. Praying for a turn around so you can have the stent and feel so much better. Loads of love, prayers and hope. Faith hope and love always ❤️❤️

thekingfisher · 30/06/2023 12:32

Pamela what a beautiful family and photos. Your love for them shines through. ❤️
I am thinking of you right now and wishing you as much strength as I can.

Bluemat · 30/06/2023 12:36

I'm heartbroken for you reading this update. Stay a strong as you can. Sending you all my love xx

Bluemat · 30/06/2023 12:37

Forgot to add please contact macmillan they were a godsend for my DF when he was in exactly the same bit as you a few months ago

Sunglassescase · 30/06/2023 12:41

Yes Macmillan and Marie Curie are fantastic, hope this is an option as know you are in NI xxx

uncomfortablydumb53 · 30/06/2023 12:42

Oh Wilson, my heart breaks for you, I'm so sorry you're in pain
Please don't think this is what Jacob Will remember
He will remember the endless love and devotion you gave him and such a wonderful Jacob is testament to you and Kerrs parenting through the years
I hope the posts are bringing you even the tiniest piece of comfort
Much love to you, your Kerr and Jacob from Judith in Wiltshire

MrsMarzetti · 30/06/2023 12:43

I am am so sorry that you are going through this and of course there is nothing anyone can say to make the situation better but please know that there is so much love being sent to you and your lovely family. I will stand on the beach in front of my home today and look towards the North Antrim coast and blow kisses, hope, prayers and love your way today Flowers

starrynight21 · 30/06/2023 12:44

Sending love and peace to you Pamela. Don't try to eat if you don't want to , just do what makes you feel comfortable. Your photos are beautiful - sending love to you and your lovely family ❤

SquirrelSoShiny · 30/06/2023 12:46

Dear Pamela you and your family are beautiful. I'm so sorry and sad that this has happened to you. Sending you and yours so much love and strength. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you. I hope you are getting support from Macmillan or the Hospice team. So much love Pamela. Your life is and has been a gift in this world. You have moved so many people with your courage and the love for your family that shines out of you. I wish you peace and love and a sense of the presence of something greater watching over you. We are with you wishing you strength and love xxx

Pansypotter123 · 30/06/2023 12:46

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

I'm so sorry to read this update and so sad to see those beautiful photos. Just why?

Please ask Kerr to contact your local hospice immediately. And your GP. You should not be in pain xxx

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

overitunderit · 30/06/2023 12:46

Wow what a gorgeous rockstar of a woman you are!! Love the photos. Thank you so much for sharing.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 30/06/2023 12:47

Absolutely beautiful pictures Such love shines from them
These are the moments they will remember Honestly I lost my DMum 25 years ago and I don't think of her final days now or soon after her passing

Bluebells1970 · 30/06/2023 12:47

Pamela, I'm so sad to read your update.

Please get your DH shouting at your GP/specialist palliative nurse for meds. My Dad had midazolam for his anxiety/agitation and levomepromazine stopped the horrendous nausea. Pain meds are horribly hit and miss when your liver isn't playing ball, as you've no doubt noticed.

Don't eat or drink to make other people feel better. Listen to what your body is telling you. You're in my thoughts. I saw my Dad through this and know exactly how brutal and fucking unkind this journey is Flowers

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