Pancreatic and liver cancer

[WilsonMilson]

Diagnosed today. I can’t believe it. I thought I had gallstones. The liver tumour is already 7cm, I can’t even remember what the pancreatic one was, it’s on the head of the pancreas. They did more CT scans to see further spread but I don’t have those results yet.
I just am in a blur.
My pain has been getting really bad the last few days and I’m worried this is it. I will have a meeting probably next week to discuss the plan for treatment -if any.

I’m not ready. I’m 45. I have a son and a lovely husband. I have elderly parents.

I’ve gone into hyper organisation mode. It’s madness really, but tonight I bought birthday cards for my son, husband and mum for the next 4 years. I’ve been transferring money to different accounts to make it more accessible. I’ve emailed my son’s school, I’ve started writing to do lists.

My mum is flying in on Friday and will stay with me. I’m just so devastated and so sorry for my poor son and husband. I cannot believe this.

your pictures are so beautiful, and I am so sad for you all. I am sorry you are in such terrible pain, please as a poster said above ask Kerr to contact your local hospice, they need to help you asap. Sending my very best to you x

Pamela, I have been following your story from the start and check in daily to see how you are doing.

Just want you to know that I am thinking of you and sending my love from Australia.

So many people are thinking of you, you are an incredibly strong lady.

Thank you for sharing photos of your lovely family. Like so many people I have been following this thread but not knowing what to say in such difficult circumstances. Wishing you strength and sending love from South Africa.

Such beautiful photos Pamela, thank you for sharing them with us all.
We're all 100% behind you and your lovely family but I'm so sorry to hear that you're not doing great right now.
When will you hear about the big meeting today?
Once again, I'm in tears reading your posts but in absolute awe of your bravery. We're all behind you

Just had the call. The MDT meeting was held. My biopsy shows it’s cholangiocarcinoma, bile duct cancer. I now have an appointment with a Professor Vass on Tuesday to speak about stenting options to help the jaundice. I will need to have better liver function before I can be considered for chemo. All feels like too little too late to be honest.

Trying to stay positive, but why couldn’t they have started me on chemo 6 weeks ago when my liver function was better? At this point, how do I even walk into the meeting, I’m so weak. Sorry for being so hopeless, but I’m just so let down. Going to try to stay strong, maybe if they can stent me then things will get better.

Dear Pamela,

Your legacy will be the beautiful family you have created, the love shines through your posts and photos.

In the end only love matters. God bless you.

Hang in there Pamela. I really hope Tuesday will finally give you a plan and some much longed for relief. You are so dignified. X

Is that an LFC hat that I spy?!

I lived in Liverpool as a student and used to get cheap (£5) tickets to mid week matches at Anfield.

Absolutely beautiful photos, very lucky to have a family like this. You look like very kind people.

I'm so sorry about everything Pamela, yes you should have had chemo earlier, I remember you saying that six weeks ago on here!

I have been following your journey from the first post. You have a beautiful family and I will send a prayer for you all. You can add Dominican Republic to the list of countries that have people praying for you and your family

I am so sorry to see how awful you feel and how bad your symptoms are. Please tell me you have been referred to palliative care for symptom advice. They really are amazing.
Jaundice really does make you feel absolutely awful. If you can get the stent done this should really help you lots and improve your liver function, so there is hope Pamela. As a HCP I feel just appalled at how much your treatment as been delayed.

Lots of love and strength to get you through to having that stent fitted xxx

And Sweden!

It’s horrible what you are going through. I really hope that your body responds well to the treatment. You seem like such a genuine and loved person❤️

Sending best wishes.

No experience with C, but had a different very serious diagnosis. It could be worth seeking a meeting with a private consultant, if that is feasible (just the consultation is hundreds, not thousands). They may know of trials, specialised drugs, experimental drugs, etc., and talking it through can help, particularly if there is a wait between NHS appointments.

Oh Pamela, I'm so sorry you are suffering so much, I really hope that they give you some answers and treatment plans on Tues, the way they have left you is awful and so unfair. Your pictures are wonderful you look like such a beautiful family and from all your posts I can tell how lovely you truly are and how loved you are.💕

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m so sorry you’re having to fight so hard for help and treatment.

such a beautiful family inside and out, use their strength, lean on them they are there for you.

I’ll keep you in my thoughts sending you light and love x

I just want a chance to live for my family, that’s all I want, I don’t want anything else

This jumped out at me from one of your recent posts. We don't need much in life really, do we? Just time with the ones we love the most.

My oldest ds is 17. Such a funny age, they're so grown up but still so young inside. I can imagine how badly you want to be around as long as you can for him.

I can't belive you're still waiting for a treatment plan. I hope you hear of some positive plans on Tuesday. It must feel so far away.

I hope you have a calm weekend with some good moments. (I'd like to hope you have a great weekend but maybe calm with some good bits is more realistic)

I'm so sorry to read this, it's heartbreaking. Sending you love and prayers, and I hope that you will be at comfort and ease. We can keep hoping that there may be a treatment plan, stay strong xx

Dear Pamela, I am also still praying for you. Miracles do happen. Hang in there as best you can. You are a beautiful woman and have a beautiful family. You will come through this. My dad died of cancer in his late forties and I only remember him the way he was before he got sick. You don't know if you are going die or not - there is still hope. I hope in the short term you get some pain relief and comfort. Wishing you strength and much love XXX

I’ve just come across your post and read from the start. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I live just outside Belfast too, and my husband has cancer so I couldn’t help but want to just stop and send you my best wishes. I’m devestated for you but hope Tuesday brings some form of positive action x

I'm so fucking angry for you.

I don't know what else to say other than I hope and pray you get some sort of treatment ASAP

Hang in there. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that they can get you started with some treatment very soon x

Oh Pamela, those photos. You’re a stunner!

Dont give up hope and don’t underestimate how helpful a stent can be. My late father had to have one in his kidney (I know it’s not the exact same) but he went from feeling like he was circling the drain to feeling almost back to normal.

You are such a beautiful soul 💕

I just read your post and am so sorry that you have so much pain right now. Your love and your strength shine through everything you write, and I hope so much that this keeps you going so that you can start your treatment. Do not give up hope - I'm a firm believer in "it's not over until it's over" and even then, there's a chance. I'm rooting for you here, over in The Netherlands. xx

Been reading your updates and rooting for you. Not sure if I've missed the part but are you on antisickness meds? Can you have a NG/NJ feeding tube fitted? (Normally a day appointment so you won't get stuck in again).

I have been through the dying stage due to multiple organ failure when I was 23 (now 33!) Was told 3 days to live and felt like utter crap. So can understand what you are going through, all I can recommend is not to dwell on anything- I was always thinking what if they took things seriously earlier/ why aren't they doing / i dont want to die etc. But my consultant gave me a good talking to about keeping a positive mindset and his experience that people that dwell and upset/stress don't fair as well as the chilled ones. Firstly I thought wtf but he was right, I was in 3 months and had to learn to eat/walk again which was a long time when you have baby/toddler at home but I think not stressing helped and switching off listening to my favourite songs / watching movies helped to make me feel normal.

Anyway I hope I'm not coming across as patronising have everything crossed for you and your beautiful family x