Pancreatic and liver cancer

[WilsonMilson]

Diagnosed today. I can’t believe it. I thought I had gallstones. The liver tumour is already 7cm, I can’t even remember what the pancreatic one was, it’s on the head of the pancreas. They did more CT scans to see further spread but I don’t have those results yet.
I just am in a blur.
My pain has been getting really bad the last few days and I’m worried this is it. I will have a meeting probably next week to discuss the plan for treatment -if any.

I’m not ready. I’m 45. I have a son and a lovely husband. I have elderly parents.

I’ve gone into hyper organisation mode. It’s madness really, but tonight I bought birthday cards for my son, husband and mum for the next 4 years. I’ve been transferring money to different accounts to make it more accessible. I’ve emailed my son’s school, I’ve started writing to do lists.

My mum is flying in on Friday and will stay with me. I’m just so devastated and so sorry for my poor son and husband. I cannot believe this.

Home is in sight so hold on to that. Kerr will stay with you and within 24 hrs the 3 of you will be all under the same roof together. Don't look beyond tomorrow. Keeping you in my thoughts. Lindsey / Bristol

Hi Pamela, I'm sending you some of my health, and health from my family. I hope your pain starts to ease soon and you can get some good decent rest in your own bed. Lots of love and healing prayers to you xxx

Hi Pamela

I did some distance reiki on you this afternoon around 1.30pm - 2pm (I hope you don't mind that I went ahead).

It was powerful yet gentle, and I feel you have a lot of loving energies around you just now. I've kept the reiki energy running as long as possible. I asked for healing for your body and mind for the greatest and highest good (we humans do not dictate what that means unfortunately).

I hope it brings you a little comfort. ❤️❤️❤️

Hi Pamela, I've just read through all your updates as I only found this thread today. You sound like such a lovely person and your love for your family shines through your posts. I'm so very sorry for what you are going through 💔 I just want you to know I am thinking about you and praying for you and your family xx

Little unorthodox prayer for you https://onbeing.org/poetry/prayer-for-werewolves/. As it says, there’s clearly lots of people (virtually) gathering round wrapping you in soft coats and blankets. And you are a marvel.

God bless you Pamela. You and your family are in my thoughts. Your courage shines.

Hi Pamela, I'm glad to hear you get to go home tomorrow for a little bit. Hopefully a warm shower and you won bed will let you get a bit more rest at least. You've been in my thoughts all day, and I'm sending strength to you all. I'm Becka living in Herning in Denmark by the way. Xx

I'm so glad you are being allowed home. And hopefully a treatment plan will be put in place by the end of the week.

Like many others I keep popping in to see how you are, and I said a little prayer for you and Kerr and Jacob today at my church today here in Lancashire.

Sending you all the love in the world xx 💕

So so pleased that you have a plan to get home. Thinking of you and sending you and your family love and strength. xx

Hi Pamela
Another one here who hasn’t posted before but have been following for a few weeks. I don’t know you but I think of you often and am always hoping for the best outcome ❤️

So glad you are allowed to go home :) it’s heartbreaking what you and your family are going through, we are all here with you Pamela. Sending lots of love from Glasgow xx

Massive love and hugs from Buckinghamshire to you Pamela, Kerr and Jacob. Only stumbled across this thread today and so moved by your story. You are so in my thoughts and I hope you get home for a lovely hot bath and time with your precious family ❤️ xxxxx

I’ve been thinking about you every day since I first saw your post.
Sending you lots of love.

So glad that you are going home tomorrow, Pamela. Being with Kerr and Jacob and your mum and sleeping in your own bed, maybe after a warm bath, will be amazing. I don't know if you are allowed it being so poorly, but a little lavender essential oil in the bath water is gentle and soothing and may help to relax you a little.

Keep strong Pamela we are all rooting for you. Sending love and strength to you, Kerr and Jacob
Love from Lil, NW England ❤

I am so glad you are home tomorrow. You sound better within yourself. ❤
I am frustrated with the doctors at this point. Nurses sound wonderful x

My Dad had days where he wept just wanting it to be over, but then a brighter few hours would be round the corner to keep him sane. Good moments are just around the corner, have faith. A beam of sunlight through the window, a shared joke, a hug from someone you love, even a cracking cup of tea. Grab them with both hands.

Hoping for a night in your own bed for you soon

Hi Pamela, Im so glad that you get to go home tomorrow. Mentally im sure it will do you the power of good. Nothing like your own bed is there. Im so happy these little messages are lifting you up, you and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers over the last few weeks and will continue to be so going forward. Enjoy that bath or shower when you get to it, you thoroughly deserve it. Best wishes from the NW of England xx

Been thinking of you so much today. Sending you much strength and love. Xxxx

Hi Pamela

Have you been introduced to the hospice yet ? (Disclaimer here - they are not just to die in ! ) my DH was in one for a month whilst they got his pain under control, he came out a different man ! They are really really lovely calm places - so much more calm than the hospital.

So glad to hear that you should be home tomorrow with your family. Don’t be afraid to get in touch with the palliative care team at your local hospice - they really are exceptionally good at sorting out pain relief from cancer (much, much better than hospital) - it’s not just end of life care. Fingers crossed you have a treatment plan in place soon x

So glad you can get home tomorrow where you can have a lovely bath and be in comfort with your family and your own things around you. And a bit of food of your own choice. Don't know about you but whenever I was ill as a kid I ate Jacobs cream crackers with proper butter. Still do! Xxx

Sending love to you. Hoping you are home soon and with some proper pain relief. So much love and care winding its way to you.

Pamela, I am in awe of you and how you are dealing with this terrible thing that is happening to you and your family.

Like some others, this is my first post on the thread although I have been keeping you in my thoughts for weeks. Please know that for every person who posts, there are many, many more silently cheering you on.

I hope you manage to have a peaceful night and are home soon with a plan to move forward x

Pamela I am so glad you can go home tomorrow surrounded by the love of Kerr and Jacob . Is your Mum still over from Scotland ? Sending you my sincere best wishes and I hope the pain team can sort out your pain and all the problems that painkillers can cause ! Fortisips are quite sickly so maybe try milkshakes with added ice cream to top up a few calories. Love and strong vibes from Lizzie in Kent X