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Pancreatic and liver cancer

1000 replies

WilsonMilson · 17/05/2023 22:49

Diagnosed today. I can’t believe it. I thought I had gallstones. The liver tumour is already 7cm, I can’t even remember what the pancreatic one was, it’s on the head of the pancreas. They did more CT scans to see further spread but I don’t have those results yet.
I just am in a blur.
My pain has been getting really bad the last few days and I’m worried this is it. I will have a meeting probably next week to discuss the plan for treatment -if any.

I’m not ready. I’m 45. I have a son and a lovely husband. I have elderly parents.

I’ve gone into hyper organisation mode. It’s madness really, but tonight I bought birthday cards for my son, husband and mum for the next 4 years. I’ve been transferring money to different accounts to make it more accessible. I’ve emailed my son’s school, I’ve started writing to do lists.

My mum is flying in on Friday and will stay with me. I’m just so devastated and so sorry for my poor son and husband. I cannot believe this.

OP posts:
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WinchSparkle80 · 06/06/2023 13:34

Have the cake @WilsonMilson maybe someone can make you one? as homemade be so much better…. but have the cake xx

sending huge hugs from sunny hampshire, you are in my thoughts daily x

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 06/06/2023 22:13

WilsonMilson · 05/06/2023 12:53

Thanks for the good wishes everyone, sorry I haven’t posted, it’s not been a great for days for pain and fevers.

Seems to have really ramped up in the last few days and haven’t been able to do anything much, feel completely useless and dread the night fevers (sadly not the John Travolta kind). They only get to about 38.5°, so not very high, but make me feel fluish and pretty ropey and my resting heart rate is fast, it’s actually fast all the time but mental at night. Paracetamol seems to be best for that, but again not great for liver so can take max 6 a day, but only ever take max 4 as trying to take as few as possible.

Even just weeks ago before this horror erupted I was such a busy person, I barely stopped from the time I got up until the evening (blamed being busy and active on some of my pains, had honestly just got used to the mid back ache and had a hot water bottle most evenings thinking it was normal). Anyway, awful feeling like an invalid, so grateful I have the support around me and people who are more than happy to do the things I can’t. I honestly cannot express my gratitude for my family enough, they are superstars as it’s not easy for them and I hate feeling like my DH is my carer. I cannot imagine going through this alone, and yet people do, it upsets me to tears to think about other people having to deal with this alone, I don’t know how they would manage.

I was prescribed pregabalin on Friday, but I’m not sure it’s doing much, although I’m slowly increasing the dose, makes me feel a bit tired although also a bit more relaxed. I’m back on the Dexamethasone and have to take paracetamol and codeine when needed. The worst pain that has started late last week is a really gripping one that takes my breath away, very sharp and like someone has squeezed my liver very tight, it only lasts seconds at a time, but happens often and it’s totally paralysing. I’m actually scared of that pain and so I try to sit very still, quite hard to take deep breaths as that sets it off too. Moving from sitting to standing can bring it on too, so my mobility is a bit more limited, but I am trying to walk an bit and move when I can because that’s really important for circulation. Getting comfy in bed is a challenge - you’d think that it would be better to lie on the left side, but that’s excruciating. Lying on my right is actually easier and once I get to an ok position, with help of DH, I try not to move. Not ideal, but I do manage to get a few hours sweaty sleep.

My scan is at 3pm and I’m so glad it’s happening but worried about lying flat for the 45 mins it takes and having to take deep breaths. It’s not the claustrophobia, that’s the least of my worries, it’s that I’m really sore lying flat and breathing deeply. My nurse called this morning and said to take 2 paracetamols and a codeine an hour before the scan, so I’m going to do that. Never had so many pills before in my life - my former self would be appalled, but needs must.

DS was upset last night that I was in so much pain, I’m trying to hide it but it’s sometimes impossible if I get one of the gripping ones. He gave me a cuddle and told me to be strong, that we will get through this together and we will beat it. Brought me to absolute tears. He doesn’t deserve to see his mum like this, it must be so scary for him. His last exam is on Thursday, he’s been revising hard all weekend and today he’s gone out with his girlfriend into town for lunch which I’m glad about.

Thankfully I don’t have to fast for the scan, I’m really trying to eat and keep my weight. Going to have some lunch now and then get organised to go to hospital.

Hope all went well, we are all behind you x

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 06/06/2023 22:14

WilsonMilson · 05/06/2023 16:52

Liver MRI done, just back home. Managed to do the deep breaths and holding it too, so I hope they got really good images. Was a bit painful lying there, but not as bad as I thought it might be, just gritted my teeth and got on with it. No issues with the contrast either so that was good. Was told that results will go back to my consultant, hopefully with urgency!

So, I have that crossed off the list. PET scan is next Monday 9.30am, but I’m on the cancellation list for this week, so hopefully something might come up, but let’s be honest, any unfortunate person needing a PET scan is hardly likely to cancel.

Mission for the rest of the week is to try to get on top of the pain and stay there, try to do a little bit each day and not vegetate. Try to stay interested in life around me and not dwell on my own misfortune too much.

Still doing this slightly lower carb, no unhealthy food diet. Sometimes I do think I should just have a piece of cake, I mean I’d be gutted if I don’t make it and I’d missed out on eating some cake along the way. Planning to make it though, so will defer the cake. I was flossing my teeth last night and realised that I must still have faith in the future - or else why bother?!

Gosh it’s so hot today, I hope everyone is enjoying the weather. I could do with it dialled back a bit, I’m hot and sweaty enough as it is right now.

have the cake x

catlovingdoctor · 06/06/2023 22:47

You are showing such strength and grace, your son and the rest of your family must be so proud of you. We are all behind you here and rooting for you X and yes definitely enjoy the cake!

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 06/06/2023 23:06

catlovingdoctor · 06/06/2023 22:47

You are showing such strength and grace, your son and the rest of your family must be so proud of you. We are all behind you here and rooting for you X and yes definitely enjoy the cake!

Love this x

Andi2020 · 06/06/2023 23:41

@WilsonMilson so sorry to hear of your illness.

My mum had pancreatic cancer and doctors said it is very hard to detect pancreatic cancer so don't be blaming yourself.
My mum was sent home from A&E so many times told can't see anything wrong. She went around everywhere with a Hot water bottle for about a year told us she was cold but it was really to help the pain.
Hopefully you don't have pancreatic cancer.
Feel free to private message if you have any questions

Andywarholswig · 07/06/2023 19:02

Glad you got through your scan Wilson. You are doing so well and being so brave. I love that you are flossing, keep it going!!

waterlego · 08/06/2023 22:59

I hope you’re doing ok Wilson. One day at a time, or one hour at a time on the more difficult days. 💐

Iggi999 · 09/06/2023 07:20

Just popping in to send you good wishes, lots of people here cheering you on with every step.

Iloveringos · 09/06/2023 10:27

Thinking of you @WilsonMilson and hope your DS did well with his final exam yesterday

lomotree · 09/06/2023 15:08

Dear Wilson, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. You have the right attitude. By the way - I think you have a gift for writing.. you write very well and always a humorous comment. I had to smile about the Pet scan cancellation. All the best X

Cornishclio · 09/06/2023 17:25

I hope you are coping ok with the pain and not suffering too much. Thinking of you and hope you get a treatment plan soon. FlowersFlowersFlowers

WilsonMilson · 09/06/2023 17:43

Hi everyone, I thought I should update. I’m not really in the best frame of mind so apologies if it’s not particularly engaging.

On the plus side, DS had his last exam yesterday and thought he did really well. So pleased for him. He thought he would get a break this weekend before going back to school on Monday, but he found out yesterday that he’s been shortlisted for Head Boy and needs to prepare a presentation for Monday, so he’s been busy working away on that. Can’t possibly tell you how proud I am of him.

I’m still on the steroids and pregabalin, the steroids have definitely helped the abdominal pain over the liver and at least enable me to get some peace from that, and they have helped the fevers too, but the back pain has been so wicked, I’ve never felt anything like it. Apparently it’s nerve pain from the whole situation and tumour pressing on various nerves. Sometimes it tingles before pain, so I would say it is certainly nerve related. I just can’t really get comfortable anywhere, although sitting forward is a bit better - doesn’t make trying to sleep much fun. It’s a pain it’s hard to get away from and I’m not in best form to be around when it’s bad. Also worried that it’s really preventing me from doing much but sit on my bum. I can maybe manage 5 mins walk until the back pain is just too much. Thing is, I’ve kind of got energy (not bags of it) but the pain is preventing me doing much. Been told to up the pregabalin again as you need to increase in stages, hoping that helps.

DH is struggling, he’s trying to do a lot including working and things around the house, including cooking. He has never had to do any of that before as I always looked after everything domestically, and his stress levels are really becoming quite obvious and fraught. He was shouting at potatoes 10 minutes ago. It’s not his fault, and obviously it’s not the potatoes. It’s a bit hard to be around though because I then react to his stress, and my tolerance for any stress at the moment is practically zero, so then I simply start crying and it all descends into a bit of turmoil. I need to find a better way of managing all of this, because I don’t want it to get worse. We have a road ahead of us and I can’t deal with my own situation and also manage DH’s stress too, it just feels too much for me, but I don’t know if it would help him to talk to someone or really how to help him to bear his own burden. It’s so difficult. I’m scared that the whole dynamic of our marriage has suddenly changed and what that means.

My mum is still here thankfully, but she’s not a spring chicken and she struggles to do too much around the house, although is a laundry wizard but by her own admission a terrible cook. She is helpful just being there and isn’t as naturally a stressful a person as DH. I’m sure having the MIL here all the time might not be as wonderful for DH though, although thankfully we have enough space so not in each other’s pockets.

Anyway, that’s my update. Tough few days really, just holding out for this PET scan on Monday, and have a private appointment on Monday evening with a liver specialist - he is apparently part of the MDT, so hopefully he can give us some information about what the next steps are and how things are likely to proceed.

Going to try to enjoy a bit of sun this weekend, life is still very precious and worth holding on to. Also keeping my faith strong and trying to do at least one good thing a day. Thanks all for your updates and support, it really does help. I know I don’t respond to everyone individually but I really do read them all and follow up a lot of the advice and helpful suggestions I’ve been given.

OP posts:
BTMadmummy · 09/06/2023 18:04

Congratulations on your son being nominated for Head Boy, you must be very proud.

Im praying your PET scan and private appointment goes well on Monday x

Chewbecca · 09/06/2023 18:15

Congratulations to your son, that’s so heartwarming.
Can you try to simplify feeding the family to ease the stress? How about a big delivery from Cook - their food is so simple to heat up yet still feels home made and ‘proper’. And takeaways are just fine sometimes too!
All the best.

Thisweeksname · 09/06/2023 18:42

Congratulations to your son! 😊
Thinking of you every day, I hope you have a nice weekend getting some sunshine, it’s going to be lovely tomorrow apparently.
I’m praying that the pet scan and appointment bring good news and a positive way forward ❤

ticktock19 · 09/06/2023 18:46

I'm so pleased for you all about your sons news, what an absolute star he is. Will be thinking of you all, all of Monday and I hope you get to enjoy the weekend with your family

Oceancreature · 09/06/2023 19:12

You must be so proud of your son!

Sorry to hear about the pain and all the other difficulties, I keep thinking of you and hoping for the best. Hopefully once you have a plan in place that will help. For now enjoy the weather best you can. 💐

Glitterbiscuits · 09/06/2023 19:39

You don't need to respond individually Wilson, don't worry.

I'm delighted to read about your DS.

Hoping for good news on Monday

Have a lovely weekend as far as you can

Remaker · 09/06/2023 21:35

My DH was very much the same as yours, just so stressed out taking on all the cooking when he’d typically only done it once or twice a week. I shed a few tears early on because I didn’t know how we were going to get through when he was having a meltdown about how long to microwave something for.

I am pleased to report that we have got into a decent routine now and no more meltdowns. The very best decision I made was going ‘public’ with my cancer diagnosis via fb. Out of nowhere a dad from DS’s cricket team contacted us. He’d had cancer a few years ago and people had arranged a meal train for them where families sign up to cook you a meal. And he did one for us. So currently we have a meal delivered around every second night. It really takes the pressure off DH. Other people have sent us vouchers for takeaway (very popular with our teenagers!) and we have a freezer full of really nice meals from a gourmet dinner service (I’m in Australia but I’m sure there will be something similar where you are) that DH’s colleagues arranged. We’ve found people are very kind and want to help.

It is a really personal decision to tell people though and it took about 10 weeks for me to be ready, so I knew my diagnosis and prognosis and I’d already had surgery and started chemo. Before that we only told close friends and family (and work obviously.)

Wishing you all the best for the PET scan. It is pretty simple, mine took about half an hour in the actual machine. They did put some straps on to keep me still. You have to have contrast injected first and wait for an hour for it to circulate. I wasn’t allowed to read or use my phone (something to do with brain activity causing hot spots with the contrast) but I was allowed to listen to music/podcast so maybe take some headphones just in case. Oh and if you had absolutely no metal on (no bra underwire or zips etc) they let you wear your own clothes for the scan which I always prefer to a gown.

Eurodiva · 09/06/2023 22:24

Please don’t feel you need to respond.
Your son sounds absolutely amazing and a credit to you ..what a trooper.
I second getting Cook meals if you have a decent freezer . They appear expensive but you save on not having to buy all the individual ingredients and you bulk up with extra veg,rice etc
All the supermarkets are now producing lovely marinaded type BBQ food which can go in oven with salad and new potatoes etc
It really will take a lot of the food stress away!
Hopefully the pregabalin will start to be effective but the dose might need changing and there is so much now that can be offered analgesia wise.
I really hope you get to enjoy the sunshine and maybe get to the seaside where there will be a cool breeze .
I hope the PET scan on Monday and your appointment with the liver specialist can get you further on with a plan .💕X

caringcarer · 09/06/2023 22:45

Wilson I do hope you get good news from PET scan. Have the cake and anything else you want too. Good that you have your Mum with you. I bet it is helpful for DS too. Good that your DS has managed to get through his exams. He has done massively well just to keep going and you must be so proud of him. Your DH sounds like a saint, caring for you and making wonderful memories whilst still trying to work too. I hope the higher dose of Pregabalin helps the pain. Take as much as you need to ease the pain a bit. I'll be crossing my fingers and thinking of you on Monday. Keep fighting. We are all rooting for you.

Topee · 12/06/2023 09:18

Hope your scan and appointment bring some positive news today, still very much in my thoughts.

Iloveringos · 12/06/2023 10:11

Thinking of you today, always in my thoughts xx

catwithflowers · 12/06/2023 11:24

Dear Wilson,

Praying you get some good news today that fills you with hope for the future ♥️

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