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Pancreatic and liver cancer

1000 replies

WilsonMilson · 17/05/2023 22:49

Diagnosed today. I can’t believe it. I thought I had gallstones. The liver tumour is already 7cm, I can’t even remember what the pancreatic one was, it’s on the head of the pancreas. They did more CT scans to see further spread but I don’t have those results yet.
I just am in a blur.
My pain has been getting really bad the last few days and I’m worried this is it. I will have a meeting probably next week to discuss the plan for treatment -if any.

I’m not ready. I’m 45. I have a son and a lovely husband. I have elderly parents.

I’ve gone into hyper organisation mode. It’s madness really, but tonight I bought birthday cards for my son, husband and mum for the next 4 years. I’ve been transferring money to different accounts to make it more accessible. I’ve emailed my son’s school, I’ve started writing to do lists.

My mum is flying in on Friday and will stay with me. I’m just so devastated and so sorry for my poor son and husband. I cannot believe this.

OP posts:
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coxesorangepippin · 04/06/2023 02:27

Thinking of you Wilson

So good that you have a great support network around you

Take it easy and look after yourself 💐💐

Topee · 04/06/2023 22:43

Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Hoping that the results are as positive as they can be in the circumstances and that you get your treatment plan this week.

Iloveringos · 04/06/2023 23:01

I don't post much but just wanted to come on and say I'm thinking about you for tomorrow. Sending big hugs and strength and know that we are all here for you when you need us xxx

Emilia35 · 05/06/2023 06:44

Hope you managed to enjoy the weekend, Wilson. Will be thinking of you today. Sending love xx

marapournumber4 · 05/06/2023 07:26

You are an absolute wonder.

itstimeforme · 05/06/2023 12:20

Good luck for today. You have been in my mind x

catwithflowers · 05/06/2023 12:49

Thinking of you and your family today, Wilson, and praying for a miracle ❤️

WilsonMilson · 05/06/2023 12:53

Thanks for the good wishes everyone, sorry I haven’t posted, it’s not been a great for days for pain and fevers.

Seems to have really ramped up in the last few days and haven’t been able to do anything much, feel completely useless and dread the night fevers (sadly not the John Travolta kind). They only get to about 38.5°, so not very high, but make me feel fluish and pretty ropey and my resting heart rate is fast, it’s actually fast all the time but mental at night. Paracetamol seems to be best for that, but again not great for liver so can take max 6 a day, but only ever take max 4 as trying to take as few as possible.

Even just weeks ago before this horror erupted I was such a busy person, I barely stopped from the time I got up until the evening (blamed being busy and active on some of my pains, had honestly just got used to the mid back ache and had a hot water bottle most evenings thinking it was normal). Anyway, awful feeling like an invalid, so grateful I have the support around me and people who are more than happy to do the things I can’t. I honestly cannot express my gratitude for my family enough, they are superstars as it’s not easy for them and I hate feeling like my DH is my carer. I cannot imagine going through this alone, and yet people do, it upsets me to tears to think about other people having to deal with this alone, I don’t know how they would manage.

I was prescribed pregabalin on Friday, but I’m not sure it’s doing much, although I’m slowly increasing the dose, makes me feel a bit tired although also a bit more relaxed. I’m back on the Dexamethasone and have to take paracetamol and codeine when needed. The worst pain that has started late last week is a really gripping one that takes my breath away, very sharp and like someone has squeezed my liver very tight, it only lasts seconds at a time, but happens often and it’s totally paralysing. I’m actually scared of that pain and so I try to sit very still, quite hard to take deep breaths as that sets it off too. Moving from sitting to standing can bring it on too, so my mobility is a bit more limited, but I am trying to walk an bit and move when I can because that’s really important for circulation. Getting comfy in bed is a challenge - you’d think that it would be better to lie on the left side, but that’s excruciating. Lying on my right is actually easier and once I get to an ok position, with help of DH, I try not to move. Not ideal, but I do manage to get a few hours sweaty sleep.

My scan is at 3pm and I’m so glad it’s happening but worried about lying flat for the 45 mins it takes and having to take deep breaths. It’s not the claustrophobia, that’s the least of my worries, it’s that I’m really sore lying flat and breathing deeply. My nurse called this morning and said to take 2 paracetamols and a codeine an hour before the scan, so I’m going to do that. Never had so many pills before in my life - my former self would be appalled, but needs must.

DS was upset last night that I was in so much pain, I’m trying to hide it but it’s sometimes impossible if I get one of the gripping ones. He gave me a cuddle and told me to be strong, that we will get through this together and we will beat it. Brought me to absolute tears. He doesn’t deserve to see his mum like this, it must be so scary for him. His last exam is on Thursday, he’s been revising hard all weekend and today he’s gone out with his girlfriend into town for lunch which I’m glad about.

Thankfully I don’t have to fast for the scan, I’m really trying to eat and keep my weight. Going to have some lunch now and then get organised to go to hospital.

OP posts:
dotdotdotdash · 05/06/2023 13:08

All the best for the scanX

Bluemat · 05/06/2023 13:22

I'm so in awe of you @WilsonMilson
Sending you lots of hugs and I hope this afternoon goes well.

Gingerbreadandtea · 05/06/2023 14:00

Will be thinking of you WilsonMilson at 3 o'clock🌼🌹

TheRosesAreInBloom · 05/06/2023 14:06

Good luck Wilson, be thinking of you x

rainbowstardrops · 05/06/2023 14:16

Good luck with your scan 🤞🏻

Izzy24 · 05/06/2023 14:50

Joining with all the many many others thinking of you, wishing you well and sending you ❤️❤️❤️

SquirrelSoShiny · 05/06/2023 14:58

Still thinking about you @WilsonMilson x

99redballoons123 · 05/06/2023 15:21

Thinking of you Wilson. I hope the scan is not too uncomfortable and brings positive news. Xx

WilsonMilson · 05/06/2023 16:52

Liver MRI done, just back home. Managed to do the deep breaths and holding it too, so I hope they got really good images. Was a bit painful lying there, but not as bad as I thought it might be, just gritted my teeth and got on with it. No issues with the contrast either so that was good. Was told that results will go back to my consultant, hopefully with urgency!

So, I have that crossed off the list. PET scan is next Monday 9.30am, but I’m on the cancellation list for this week, so hopefully something might come up, but let’s be honest, any unfortunate person needing a PET scan is hardly likely to cancel.

Mission for the rest of the week is to try to get on top of the pain and stay there, try to do a little bit each day and not vegetate. Try to stay interested in life around me and not dwell on my own misfortune too much.

Still doing this slightly lower carb, no unhealthy food diet. Sometimes I do think I should just have a piece of cake, I mean I’d be gutted if I don’t make it and I’d missed out on eating some cake along the way. Planning to make it though, so will defer the cake. I was flossing my teeth last night and realised that I must still have faith in the future - or else why bother?!

Gosh it’s so hot today, I hope everyone is enjoying the weather. I could do with it dialled back a bit, I’m hot and sweaty enough as it is right now.

OP posts:
SarahSmith2023 · 05/06/2023 17:37

(((HUG)))

im glad that one's done & the other is scheduled.

you might get a cancellation if someone in the hospital had a clash of tests, or just isn't up to it.

has your mum been home & come back or had she not been yet?

im so glad yo have your Mum, DH & DS 💕. It's great DS has his GF to support & someone slightly out of inner circle to talk to

no need to be Stoic!! We're here for stoic days, good days, crap days & everything inbetween!!

this is YOUR thread, to let it all out!!
xx

Georgiepud · 05/06/2023 17:42

I'm pleased the MRI wasn't too uncomfortable. You are so brave and full of wisdom talking yourself through the hardest times.

Atishoos · 05/06/2023 20:29

Wishing you all the best Wilson. I've been following your story under various usernames and am in awe of you.

I am not going to give you any advice other than you should really seek proper pain management. Paracetemol and codeine may not be enough, but there are other drugs out there. Once pain is under control you will obviously feel better and it may give you a lift to be able to do more things.

Secondly I'm attaching this link for a neck fan. They are brilliant and are rechargeable. You wear it around your neck and the great thing is they will cool you as you move around. A fan is ok at night by your bed, but this neck fan helps cool and comfort you when you are mobile. Just a suggestion and it may or may not appeal to you.

Neck Fan, Portable Hanging Neck Fan, Bladeless Mini Neck Fan with 360° Airflow, 3-Speed Hands-Free Personal Fan Rechargeable Wearable Fan Cooling Quiet for Home Office Travel Sports Outdoor, White : Amazon.co.uk: Home & Kitchen

CaptainSensiblesRedBeret · 05/06/2023 21:38

Hi. I would suggest asking for a referral to your local hospice for symptom management. Hospices are not just for end of life care and are usually experts at pain management. Re the pregabalin, the benefits are unfortunately not instant so if you’re not really seeing much improvement atm bear with it because it can take some time before you feel the benefits. I wish you all the best and hope you can get on top of your symptoms soon.

Remaker · 05/06/2023 23:27

I’m glad to hear your scans are underway. I echo what some others have said, you do sound to be in an unacceptable amount of pain. I’m doing chemo right now and at no point in my diagnosis, surgery and treatment have I been left in pain. I understand wanting to be stoic but your quality of life is important. I’m afraid I can’t give advice on exactly where to go as I’m in another country and our system is different but I would suggest taking whoever is the most confident and forthright of your family members to the GP/hospital and making some noise to get you some better pain relief. If they are going to drag their feet on scans etc they need to look after you in the meantime.

Thetoasterhasbroken · 06/06/2023 08:36

Wishing you all the best and hoping they have the results back very soon.

adriftabroad · 06/06/2023 09:21

You are doing so well. Thinking of you every day x

waterlego · 06/06/2023 13:11

I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having such an awful time of it with the pain and the night sweats Wilson. It all sounds very hard going.

Glad though that you’ve had your first scan and don’t have to wait too long for the next one. 💐

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