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Pancreatic and liver cancer

1000 replies

WilsonMilson · 17/05/2023 22:49

Diagnosed today. I can’t believe it. I thought I had gallstones. The liver tumour is already 7cm, I can’t even remember what the pancreatic one was, it’s on the head of the pancreas. They did more CT scans to see further spread but I don’t have those results yet.
I just am in a blur.
My pain has been getting really bad the last few days and I’m worried this is it. I will have a meeting probably next week to discuss the plan for treatment -if any.

I’m not ready. I’m 45. I have a son and a lovely husband. I have elderly parents.

I’ve gone into hyper organisation mode. It’s madness really, but tonight I bought birthday cards for my son, husband and mum for the next 4 years. I’ve been transferring money to different accounts to make it more accessible. I’ve emailed my son’s school, I’ve started writing to do lists.

My mum is flying in on Friday and will stay with me. I’m just so devastated and so sorry for my poor son and husband. I cannot believe this.

OP posts:
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17
Crikeyalmighty · 30/05/2023 18:57

So many of us are thinking of you @WilsonMilson . Xx

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 30/05/2023 19:35

Thinking of you, we all are x

waterlego · 30/05/2023 19:46

It’s lovely to hear from you Wilson, and great that you’re continuing to do what you can, when you can. Sounds like you’ve done really well with eating and gaining weight too which is no mean feat when you’re feeling as you do.

So nice to hear that friends are thinking of you and sending thoughtful gifts. I’m sure those friends would agree that you shouldn’t feel under pressure to use those supplements or read those books just now. You have them there if and when you want to explore them, but I can only imagine that they feel a bit overwhelming right now when you’re just trying to get your head round your situation (and still awaiting more information from your scans).

I think you’re doing amazingly well. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

SarahSmith2023 · 30/05/2023 20:43

(((HUG)))

I'd happily give you some of my weight!! I low carb and it's all I can do to stay the same weight & I need to lose loads. However, I expect you'd like some healthy muscle, not flab!!

keep on doing what you're doing and you should be at 8st in a healthy way!!

crying is cathartic if you embrace it! Let it out.

I'm sorry your Mum needs to go home to sort some things out, but she came so quickly her house probably looks like a crime scene! She'll probably want some bits & pieces too, things you don't think about when you're only going for a quick trip. Hopefully she won't be away long & can stay for a good while when she gets back to yours.

once your treatment is sorted, being as it's only Ireland to Scotland, you might be able to visit between sessions. But I know what you mean, there's nothing like being 'home'. Would you want to 'come home' for the treatment if you could? Could DH 'WFH' from Scotland.

As for all the supplements - once your treatment plan is sorted could someone sort them out for you, things you can & can't take alongside the treatment & which you can take together & which you can't.

The books etc, just put them on a bookshelf and feel LOVE coming from them, not obligation - no one would want you to feel overwhelmed by them. DIP IN & out of them as you want to.

if you find dealing with all the flowers too much I'm sure a friend would love to have something useful to be in charge of.

Brown's Bay being you default place sounds lovely, but don't miss out the other lovely places your way too! Go as far as you feel able & DH's schedule allows for.

how is DS doing sitting his exams?

lots of love & strength xx

IF you think of anything we can do, please just say xx

dalmatianmad · 30/05/2023 22:06

You have been in my thoughts, lots of love ❤️

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 30/05/2023 22:40

Sending lots of love, I have been thinking of you ❤️

rainbowstardrops · 31/05/2023 09:58

Thinking of you and your family Flowers

CrotchetyQuaver · 31/05/2023 10:38

Thinking of you xx

Bluebells1970 · 31/05/2023 10:48

Don't be afraid to push for pain relief and symptom management medications.

They can often be the difference between a good day and a bad day.

Your GP should be able to prescribe what you need, or the specialist nurses.

Emilia35 · 31/05/2023 13:07

Really hope you've had your scans by now, OP. Could you go private if not? Sounds so stressful how long they're making you wait.

You should be so proud of yourself getting through this one day at a time. Wishing you and your family all the best.

pollpp · 31/05/2023 13:59

Thinking of you Flowers

Posypointshoes · 31/05/2023 20:09

Oh @WilsonMilson I want to reach through your posts and give you a hug.

someone once sent me this quote when I was going through a terrible terrible time and it made me cry but also touched me immensely, and I’ve never forgotten it:

“in the depth of winter I finally learned that within me there lay an endless summer”

As I read your update it popped into my head again; not that we have to be upbeat when terrible things are happening but it’s an amazing characteristic and strength to be able to focus on even the small joys.

Keeping everything crossed that you get the scans asap- I’m shocked at how you’re having to wait.

WilsonMilson · 31/05/2023 20:33

As ever, thanks for the messages. I read each and every one. I don’t always respond to them directly but I appreciate any advice and am strengthened by the well wishes.

I wasn’t going to post today, because it’s been a bad day for me mentally and pain wise and I didn’t want to seem less stoic than I’m trying to be. Then I thought I should, because it’s real, and holy shit this is tough at times, it’s truly a staring into the abyss level of mental torture.

I was quite down this morning, bit of a dark night of the soul last night. Really deep mid back pain for most of the day has got me down quite a bit, a bit of relief here and there though. Hot water bottle seems better than painkillers to be honest. Worried it’s getting worse, trying to keep the dark thoughts out. Trying to have faith in God, feel like I have mixed success with that, in one way it’s comforting as it feels like I don’t need to be in control, I can just hand over the reins to God and he will make sure I’m ok, yet at the same time I’m struggling with faith quite a bit doing the old ‘why me’ quite a bit. Need to stop that. I mean, why anyone?!

Went a 15 minute walk and felt like a total crock, had to sit down when I got back. Really not used to this frailty.

I had a bit of a scare last night as I became shivery when I went to bed, so checked my temperate and saw I had developed a low grade fever 38°c which totally freaked me out, but responded to paracetamol. Everything is freaking me out, every new pain. Nights are bad anyway as the night sweats are unreal, I’ve never had anything like it. Poor DH is lying next to a slippery eel, and one who is basically clinging on to him for dear life all night. No more fever as yet today, thankfully, a bit trepidatious of what tonight will bring. I get scared at night and in the morning. During the day I manage a bit better.

Not mentioned this before, but I feel like I look like total shit. I’ve felt for ages that my skin has been sallow compared to how it used to be, my hair a bit lifeless. Thought it was my age. Losing weight in the last 2 weeks has done nothing for my face though, look really gaunt and drawn, although vanity is the least of my worries. DH says he still fancies me, which is lovely although I don’t really know if anyone in my situation is particularly alluring.

DS had a Politics AS level exam today, he thought he did well, and I’m so pleased for him. Another positive is that I finally got the call this morning for the first scan - MRI. Monday 3pm. Thank goodness. Hoping for a call for the PET scan soon too. Someone asked about private insurance and do actually have private medical insurance, but mixing private and NHS at this stage apparently is not advantageous for cancer care in NI, the private and NHS don’t really communicate with each other and there is no private cancer care at all in NI, which was news to me and does make me wonder what we’ve been paying a fortune to Bupa for! What we have done is make a private appointment with a specialist liver surgeon, apparently the ‘best’ there is here (no offence to the others). That’s on the 12th, was the quickest appointment we could get even privately. Sometimes I envy people like the royals, not for the other parts of their job, but I bet they wouldn’t have to wait for scans and oncologists! Feels somehow like my life doesn’t matter as much.

Anyway, sitting with my mum here. Poor DH is working in his study, he’s working the oddest hours ever at the moment, thankfully he can wfh for the most part and for that I’m so grateful. I think he needs the distraction of work, a bit of normality in an otherwise completely awful situation.

OP posts:
Andywarholswig · 31/05/2023 20:41

Thankyou for updating Wilson, I think you are incredibly brave and you shouldn’t worry about being stoic, you can say anything you want here. Good news about the scan, something to hold onto and look toward.

Posypointshoes · 31/05/2023 20:46

@WilsonMilson never feel like you have to update. It sounds trite but I’m not sure you realise how brave you are. The fear and the panic, the thoughts about how you look… it takes a lot of bravery to post about that like you have.
im so pleased you have such loving family around you.

and I’m relieved you’ve got a date for your scan finally and that you’ve got an appointment with the specialists although I can fully see how the days while you wait must be agonising.

I won’t say anything like stay strong etc because you really don’t have to, you just get through it however you can. But know that we are all thinking of you and keeping you in our prayers.

Bluebells1970 · 31/05/2023 20:46

Temperature variation is very normal in liver cancer, and can be helped by medication. It doesn't mean you've got an infection so try not to worry about it (easier said than done).

If you're up to reading this, it was really helpful for me -
https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/impacts-of-cancer/controlling-symptoms-of-cancer-in-the-liver

Oceancreature · 31/05/2023 20:54

You have got this Wilson, keep going, just one day at a time 💐

Foxymoxy68 · 31/05/2023 21:10

Thinking of you and praying for you x

Glitterbiscuits · 31/05/2023 21:46

Glad you've checked in and have a few dates to focus on.

Im especially pleased to know your DS is ok. I have similar age DC so I can understand why he'd be your priority. I hope he's managing to keep up with revision.

My mum was told a small glass of sherry would help improve her appetite when she had cancer. That was years and years ago! She'd only ever have a glass at Christmas so it was odd watching her drink, she just looked like a stereotypical Vicars wife! It still makes me smile at what was a crap time.
She found porridge helped with her pains. I think some of her discomfort felt like hunger pangs.

I hope this week is peaceful and the scan comes round quickly

ticktock19 · 31/05/2023 22:05

So glad you have your MRI date and I hope the PET scan date comes through quickly too. Thinking of you every day

Eurodiva · 31/05/2023 22:11

Wilson please don’t feel that you need to check in regularly but am glad you are ok .
12th June is a long wait but going private now will make it more complicated joining up the dots!
My BIL is in the same situation as you and he is having a biopsy on the 12th . He is having ERCP to get to the pancreas .
Am thinking of you and hope you get some sleep tonight.
Your son is brilliant cracking on with his exams ..bet you are feeling a proud Mum .Xx

Thisismyluckyday · 31/05/2023 22:54

de-lurking to add my good wishes to the host of others.

12th seems a terribly long way away - is there a list for cancellation slots?

NeedToChangeName · 01/06/2023 18:34

That's good you have the MRI scan on Monday. Good to make progress

rainbowstardrops · 01/06/2023 22:01

One day at a time lovely Flowers

Jeffjefftyjeff · 01/06/2023 23:05

Just delurking to wish you lots of strength for the wait for the scan. Also sending this link to an Irish poem that might be soothing : https://grateful.org/resource/beannacht/

Beannacht - Grateful.org

On the day when/The weight deadensOn your shoulders/And you stumble,/May the clay dance/To balance you.

https://grateful.org/resource/beannacht/

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