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Life-limiting illness

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Pancreatic and liver cancer

1000 replies

WilsonMilson · 17/05/2023 22:49

Diagnosed today. I can’t believe it. I thought I had gallstones. The liver tumour is already 7cm, I can’t even remember what the pancreatic one was, it’s on the head of the pancreas. They did more CT scans to see further spread but I don’t have those results yet.
I just am in a blur.
My pain has been getting really bad the last few days and I’m worried this is it. I will have a meeting probably next week to discuss the plan for treatment -if any.

I’m not ready. I’m 45. I have a son and a lovely husband. I have elderly parents.

I’ve gone into hyper organisation mode. It’s madness really, but tonight I bought birthday cards for my son, husband and mum for the next 4 years. I’ve been transferring money to different accounts to make it more accessible. I’ve emailed my son’s school, I’ve started writing to do lists.

My mum is flying in on Friday and will stay with me. I’m just so devastated and so sorry for my poor son and husband. I cannot believe this.

OP posts:
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Atishoos · 26/05/2023 17:40

Wishing you well on your journey Wilson. The sea is just so uplifting isn't it? Saying hello from Killiney Beach, it was a fabulous day here in Dublin, and I can see Bono's pad from my perch on the eh.... pebbles.

Tomorrow is another day, and I hope all the tests and scans go smoothly for you. Hugs and prayers from a stranger in Dublin.

Gingerbreadandtea · 26/05/2023 19:03

Thinking of you, all you can do is take it moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. Sending you hugs too and I have prayed for you and will continue to🌼🌷🌺

TheRosesAreInBloom · 26/05/2023 19:13

Thinking of you Wilson, your quiet thoughtfulness and reflection whilst in what must seem like a wind tunnel of confusion and physical and mental pain, is inspirational.

I pray they are able to work out a sound treatment plan for you once the scans are done this week.

Enjoy the lovely weekend weather with your family x

Iggi999 · 26/05/2023 19:44

There is a real beauty in the words you write WilsonMilson. I hope you manage a peaceful evening and the treatment plan comes soon x

waterlego · 26/05/2023 20:11

What a lovey post @WilsonMilson. you’re so eloquent.

What you say about your renewed appreciation of every little thing really reminded me of an interview with the musician Wilko Johnson after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He said:

“The things that used to matter – bills, worrying about the future, thinking I could change the past – don't matter to me any more. They're nothing to me now. I'm embracing the present. I mean, look at that tree out there. I can sit here looking at it all day. It's a beautiful thing that makes me tingle. I can feel everything bursting through me." Everything? "Yeah, you know... life, the real stuff."

Incidentally, he was originally given 10 months to live but his cancer was not as aggressive as they originally thought, and after some fairly extensive surgery, he was declared free of cancer and went on to live another 9 years. He gave another interview during that time in which he talked about how his mind set had shifted again now that he was trying to wrap his head around being alive for longer!

My Dad showed me that interview and said it was exactly how he had felt when a melanoma was found on his back. It made him see everything very clearly.

You are doing so well and I’m so glad there is now a plan in place to get things in motion, and that the staff member you spoke to was so lovely. I think of you and your boys often.

Oceancreature · 26/05/2023 20:15

Wilson; you have such dignity I wish you all the best in this journey. One day at a time, you’ve got this.

waterlego · 26/05/2023 20:17

Sorry, I’ve just realised aI kept tagging you. Sorry, will stop doing that.

winterchills · 26/05/2023 20:24

Sorry for this devastating news, hopefully you can have treatment 💕💕

Gogol253 · 26/05/2023 20:36

Thinking of you Wilson and sending you prayers and love. May you find the strength for this very difficult journey ❤

Mumtolittleorange · 26/05/2023 22:16

Thinking of you @WilsonMilson - I checked in today to see how you were and if you had shared any news. Enjoy the warm sun on your face this weekend x

Posypointshoes · 26/05/2023 22:34

Wilson, this is my first post here but I am in awe of you.
in my very limited opinion I would give a hesitant “I would think liver is possibly better than pancreas” to your update based on a very small amount of anecdotal experience of relatives. I really desperately hope this is the case for you.
I’ve made an appointment for my Gp next week as I’ve been getting very intermittent (possibly every few weeks or so) upper abdominal discomfort on the left hand side for a little while, usually after eating rich foods, which I put down to wind. I wouldn’t have done that without reading your words about your own situation and also your words about taking care of your health and holding your loved ones trite. Sorry, that’s probably not helpful in any way but I guess I just wanted to show you that as well as us being able to offer a few words of support here, you posting here is also making a difference.

you’ll be in my thoughts as will your family.

Bigboysmademedoit · 26/05/2023 22:59

I was also at Browns Bay today - it was beautiful and there is a respite centre there - Hope House. It may be worth contacting them to stay for a few days and feel the sea air. Sending a virtual hug.

LittleMonks11 · 27/05/2023 00:50

💙

2BANON · 27/05/2023 01:13

Hi @WilsonMilson
It can be very confusing trying to find alternative remedies to fight cancer. So what usually happens is on person will tell you one '' cure'' another will tell you a different cure...

There is a good reason for this,(which I will not go in to) however, when you do many of those things from all different people you will usually see a better outcome. It isn't just one thing from one person. It's lots of those one things from different people.

Thinking of you and sending prayers to your special loved ones.

SarahSmith2023 · 27/05/2023 08:36

Good Morning 🤗🌷

Its lovely to get your messages, but please don't feel obliged & like it's another chore to be done, no need to apologise for not posting, it's YOUR thread, use it for YOUR benefit. 💕

The feedback from the MDT is good. The liver is the coolest organ the way it regenerates itself.

I used to live in Browns Bay in NZ. I wonder if it was named after your Browns Bay? Probably as so many places are named after places in the U.K.

it sounds lovely. I'd definitely see about booking into the respite centre there, if you can.

There's nothing wrong with a bit of fantasy, positive mental outlook can only help! Escape there when you can. It's not like you're in denial & are refusing investigations etc.

I hope the MRI & PET scan (I'd be hoping they found a puppy 😂) come through quickly. Waiting is hard.

obviously wishing for the best possible outcome for both.

BigHugs xx

Posypointshoes · 28/05/2023 13:59

Don’t feel you need to reply @WilsonMilson but just checking in to see how you are bearing up

lljkk · 28/05/2023 15:25

For the people around you who also need support, OP, you could suggest they look at things Atul Gawande & Angelo Volandes have said about helping to support people with a life-limiting illness. Several TED talks, media interviews, etc. I find Gawande's book too long & philosophical, but the short clips are useful.

waterlego · 29/05/2023 08:40

Thinking of you Wilson and hoping you won’t be waiting too long for the scans.

Andywarholswig · 29/05/2023 13:09

Thinking of you today Wilson, hoping the sun is shining on you and that you have your date for your MRI and PET sorted early this week

SingaporeSting · 30/05/2023 07:31

Also thinking of you Wilson.

waterlego · 30/05/2023 12:38

Just want you to know you’re being thought of Wilson. 💐

SquirrelSoShiny · 30/05/2023 15:35

Yes also still thinking about you @WilsonMilson and hope you are getting some sunshine x

WilsonMilson · 30/05/2023 17:49

Hi everyone, thanks for all the comments, I’m honestly so touched that you keep checking in with me and sending me well wishes.

It’s been a few days now and I don’t have a great deal of news. My pain is much the same, but there are times it can be pretty debilitating and I’m worried it’s on a slow trajectory of worsening, feels like my liver is enormous and pushing against my ribs and back, a very weird pain to describe, a deep ache and difficult to take a deep breath sometimes, but I do have painkillers and a hot water bottle, although in this weather that’s a struggle in itself. I am grateful for the sun though.

I now have a clinical nurse specialist who is assigned to me and I have spoken with her. She’s sending me out a pack of information, things from MacMillan etc, and things for my son too. She’s also pushing for these scans to be done asap and is chasing them up - it’s blowing my mind that they aren’t being done yesterday, never mind today, and I’m having a hard time coping with that. Hopefully this week though. Is this normal? It doesn’t feel normal. She also talked about other pain relief I might be offered, and I’m kind of open to anything right now.

I’m trying to look after my diet and eat enough. I was shedding too much weight on carb free so I’ve had to reintroduce good carbs, but not eating any ‘rubbish’. I lost half a stone in a week from diagnosis, which was pretty appalling as I’m really slim anyway, but I’ve been forcing myself the last few days and have gained back a pound or two, which I feel is really hopeful. Hoping to get back over 8 stone. Feels like I am just shovelling food in me.

We went to church on Sunday. Haven’t actually been to church since I moved to Northern Ireland from Scotland 4 years ago, but just felt like we had to go, somehow faith is helping. Found the service a bit upsetting and yet uplifting at the same time. The congregation were very welcoming, didn’t tell them my woes though, can’t face telling strangers face to face - and yet here I am on Mumsnet.

I’ve been crying a lot the last couple of days, my mum said she might have to go home to sort out a few things and then come back, and I completely broke down in inconsolable tears. Trying not to cry in front of DS though. It’s hard living here sometimes, I’m away from all my extended family and friends who are in Scotland. I have a few lovely friends here, but it’s not the same as being at ‘home’. I feel worried I’ll never see what I regard as home again.

We went back to Browns Bay yesterday, it seems to have become our place. I have a bit of a walk along the sand for 5-10 mins and them I’m quite tired. Walking seems to bring on the back pain, but for someone who is used to walking at least 4 miles a day, it’s a huge change to be so sedentary, very frustrating, but I’m trying to do a bit of walking every day for physical and mental health.

I think that’s all my updates for now, received yet another bunch of flowers from a friend in Scotland today, and I have complete run out of vases. Everyone has been so very kind.

Some friends have sent supplements and all sorts of weird and wonderful things that I don’t have the first clue about. Also I’ve had about half a dozen cancer books - radical remission, one by a Chris Wark, some religious stuff too. It’s all extremely kind, but I don’t feel like I can really deal with all the supplement stuff just now and even the books feel like a mountain to climb to look at. It’s weird - I want to get better and embrace all of this, but it’s all so overwhelming and confusing and sometimes contradictory, and when I’m in pain it’s hard to concentrate.

Don’t laugh, but I’ve been doing painting by numbers (for adults). It’s actually been quite therapeutic and I’ve been listening to Agatha Christie plays on YouTube, they are about 1.5 hours long and as much as I can deal with in one sitting.

As ever, my family are being the most wonderful support. We are still sitting at the dinner table and talking about what we are grateful for that day. We are still pulling together and trying to be positive. I have very dark moments, but I am getting through and have drawn strength from somewhere.

OP posts:
Tidsleytiddy · 30/05/2023 18:18

Bless you. Sending love x

Eurodiva · 30/05/2023 18:29

Wilson you really are an amazing lady .Am hoping you get all the scans and any further investigations done ASAP so that all the dots can be joined up and treatment plan started.🌺💪

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