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Life-limiting illness

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Original poster

I'm going to die and I'm petrified

152 replies

dewisant2020 · 28/02/2023 21:41

I'm not sure where to start really, I was diagnosed with lung cancer and today I went to see my specialist who's told me my prognosis is terminal.
My heads been all over the place, one minute im crying, the next laughing.
I am so afraid and keep having panic attacks.
Will I ever make peace with this I keep asking myself

OP posts:
Merchantadventurer · 28/02/2023 23:21

I am also stage 4 (breast) and it is real sucker punch. Whilst it is true there are treatments etc when I was first diagnosed I found it hard to take it all in as I felt I would be the exception and not respond to treatment. Having a plan to focus on from your doctors does help.

I have found being a “cancer patient” and being part of the world in itself profoundly depressing. I basically now take one step at a time and try not to overthink things too much but everyone is different and you need to give yourself time to grieve and cry and be angry. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Everyone responds differently and you don’t need to be brave and look like all those people on Macmillan posters. I made a close friend when I was diagnosed and she chose to go to dignitas. Others have made holiday plans for the end of the year . There is no right way to feel!

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 28/02/2023 23:22

OP, I'm really sorry that you've had such devastating news. 💐

amonsteronthehill · 28/02/2023 23:23

I'm so sorry Flowers

CinnamonSwirlGirl · 28/02/2023 23:23

I’m so sorry. What a horrible shock 😞❤️.

rainbowlou · 28/02/2023 23:23

I have no useful words to say and I’m so sorry for that, but I couldn’t see your post and not reply.

I'm so, so sorry for your diagnosis and I wish you all the best love and care in the world xxx

PurpleFlower1983 · 28/02/2023 23:26

Very sorry to read this OP.

RicherThanYews · 28/02/2023 23:26

Hi Op, I'm going to hazard a guess from your username that you're either Welsh or living in Wales? There are a good few charities and private support groups who can provide lots of help, advice and practical support to you (St David's, Macmillan and Tenovus for example). I can get the details to you if that's the case. Wishing you all the very best x

letthemalldoone · 28/02/2023 23:28

I'm so sorry - I can't imagine the hell you must be going through right now. It's nearly 17 years since we went through this with my DM and I know it's just beyond awful. I hope you have good support from family and friends.

Being terminal/grade 4 isn't necessarily the end. Treatments are advancing all the time. My SIL was told she was grade 4 coming 11 years ago. She'd had cancer for several years before then. She's still here and living her life! Her body has been fighting the tumours off. TBH I'd think she wasn't telling the truth only she was paid her work pension given her diagnosis! I know this is anecdotal but please know there are treatments/support for you to access.

Cancer charities are great at providing support - access all you can! Financially you should get the highest level of PIP and they should prioritise you in terms of getting paid it.

We will all die, that's inevitable and I'm as scared as the next person, especially now I'm about to enter my 7th decade.

Cancer is an utter fucking bastard, and life is endlessly unfair!!

Great big squishy hugs xx

1sttimemummy2022 · 28/02/2023 23:29

I'm so sorry to read this. I hope you have got the support around you 🥰

T1Dmama · 28/02/2023 23:30

Be kind to yourself xx

testingtesting · 28/02/2023 23:35

Just focus on coping one minute at a time.
May I ask - did you have someone with you at the consultation today? I ask because we know that as soon as people hear the word "cancer" very little else gets absorbed, so it might be good to compare notes with them on what they heard.
Tomorrow morning ring you Cancer Nurse Specialist (should have met them today?) and ask them to go over what was discussed today and what the next steps are.
It will take a bit of time for this shocking news to be absorbed, IME people are incredible in their fortitude and resilience in dealing with a cancer diagnosis - no reason to doubt that you will be the same.
Huge hugs xx

helloDIY · 28/02/2023 23:39

I'm so sorry you have received this news OP. I'm not sure I can be of any help at all. I cannot help with the medical side at all. But I read something that has stayed with me.

One day we will die; but all the other days we are alive.

You are alive OP, you are here. You are still you - the diagnosis is not you. Spend all of your days living OP in whatever small or big way you can. I wish you the very best Flowers

paulaparticles · 28/02/2023 23:44

Sending lots of love and hope your way 💗

ClairDeLaLune · 28/02/2023 23:45

I’m very sorry to hear this @dewisant2020 Flowers

WeAreAllSpecksOnARock · 28/02/2023 23:45

I am so sorry to read this. Like others on here I know 3 people living with this diagnosis with different cancers. All of them are still seemingly quite well, and all are between 3 and 4 years after their diagnosis. The thing all 3 of them have in common is a zest for life and taking pleasure in the small things in life on not so good days. 💐

SeatonCarew · 01/03/2023 00:00

You've only just received this news today OP, so naturally your thoughts are all over the place. That's perfectly normal and reasonable.

What I am going to say to you is that nothing horrible is going to happen tonight, you are safe and comfortable in your home, in your bed. Nobody needs anything of you right now, it's ok just look after yourself, get cosy and get some sleep. Tomorrow you can start to take a little time to work out where you are, but for tonight you've got this covered.

Sleep well. x

Beeswood · 01/03/2023 00:02

I am so very sorry. Such a shock to hear.
Thinking of you. xxx

Aussiegirl123456 · 01/03/2023 00:08

Oh bless you. My heart feels heavy. You’re a stranger to me but I just want to cry for you.

I don’t know if you’ll make peace with terminal illness. It’s scary. Life flashes by. No long term dreams. Loose ends. Bucket lists. I just really can’t imagine.

I think you just have to feel what you’re feeling in that very moment. There’s no right or wrong. Just live the best you can while you can. It fucking sucks and is unfair. Talk. Hug. Laugh. Appreciate the little things and be angry that life can be so fucking unfair.

I just send you love.

Coffeeandcatsforlife · 01/03/2023 00:23

So very sorry to hear this.

TeaFagsand · 01/03/2023 00:29

Oh, OP, my heart goes out to you ❤❤

All I can say is that we are all here for you snd that you don't have to go through this alone.

HoppingPavlova · 01/03/2023 00:30

I’m sorry to hear this. Life is not fair and this sucks the big one. Please speak with your treating team as there is medicine they can prescribe for anxiety/panic associated with this and it’s not uncommon to do so.

Unic0rnSparkle0405 · 01/03/2023 00:37

Sending love Flowers❤️

Gillbil · 01/03/2023 00:53

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sending you love

JustKeepGoingThere · 01/03/2023 00:57

I'm so sorry. Can't imagine how you must be feeling. I hope you have lots of support. ❤️

Dontjudgeme101 · 01/03/2023 00:59

I am so sorry op. 💐💐💐💐