I'm going to die and I'm petrified

[dewisant2020]

I'm not sure where to start really, I was diagnosed with lung cancer and today I went to see my specialist who's told me my prognosis is terminal.
My heads been all over the place, one minute im crying, the next laughing.
I am so afraid and keep having panic attacks.
Will I ever make peace with this I keep asking myself

OP this is the worst possible news for you. My husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer but lived in good health with it for several years.

terminal isn’t a helpful word and many health professionals don’t use it anymore. Stage 4 cancer, especially a fairly common one like lung cancer, is incurable but treatable. There are many treatment options for lung cancer some of which may be able to stabilise the cancer for significant periods of time, sometimes for years.

this must be the most horrendous shock to you and wishing you all the best

How you are feeling is totally normal 💗💐So sorry that you’ve had this horrendous diagnosis.
Let yourself feel angry, upset, distraught because it is all part of the acceptance process.
What you don’t have to do is let that sadness, distress & anger define what time you have left.
Have your moments when you need them then dust yourself off & find something fun or happy to do.
Make what time you have left count.

After everything we’ve all been though in the last few years I can bet this feels like the sh1tiest card to be dealt!

Deep breath, make sure your affairs are in order, do all you can to support yourself while trying to prolong what time you have left, contact Marie Curie & Macmillan for support & take any support offered by hospital to help you deal with this terrifying news.

Let us know you are ok 👌Hoping for your limited time to be more than you have been given xxxxx

I am so sorry 😞 xxxx

I am so very sorry op. I hope you have lots of support in RL. There are so many people living well with a terminal diagnosis. Warm thoughts and hugs to you.

So sorry to hear, hope that you have plenty of support in place. Always here if you’d like to talk ❤️

I'm so sorry OP. That's incredibly difficult news to hear.

I do know a number of people who've had terminal diagnoses. They have all come to terms with it eventually. Not to say it wasn't challenging and difficult but they were all at peace in the end.

Would it help to let out your feelings now? Whatever you need, just say here and in your real life.

Sending love.

Big, massive hug @dewisant2020
We’re here to listen and look out for you, one of us is always here. ❤️

Sorry OP that must be devastating news. I had a friend who was a counselor and worked sometimes with people with terminal illnesses. People do come to terms with it.

I'm so sorry OP. What a shock.

So sorry and sending love

💐

There is a very supportive cancer thread on mumsnet
Cancer Support thread 85
Its full of many supportive folk with all kinds of knowledge about cancer and treatments who will always offer a compassionate ear during the tough times. Many of us are also living with a stage 4 diagnosis xxx

Blessings to you, OP. I'm so sorry to hear your devastating news. Sending you love at this difficult time.

Thankyou everyone for your support and advice, i cant reply to everyone as there are so many.
I took my self to bed last night as I could bear to sit up any longer.
I have got an appointment today to speak to my cancer specialist nurse, she is going to phone me at 2.30 as I was in so much shock yesterday I didn't take much in.
I'm going to take everything they can offer, and fight this as hard as I can.
My daughter is very worried about me and in turn that makes me worried about her. She's coming around this morning to be here when the nurse phones

That must be very hard to come to terms with, I'm so sorry.

You sound so amazing and strong. I don’t think you’re going to make this an easy fight for your cancer. Have a feeling you’re going to kick its ass.

My lovely mum. She was given six weeks maximum to live. Something inside her ignited and she majorly surpassed that. By years and years. She lived the best years of her life after her diagnosis.

Do what you have got to do mama but don’t give up. You got this ⭐️

My mother was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer at her first appointment. She was given six months. She lived for over 20 more years. Never give up hope. Much love.

❤

Just to add to this .. my DF who is 78 was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer last summer , He had several radiotherapy sessions to slow the tumour growth down , there’s nothing treatment wise that can be done but since then he’s actually doing really well , he goes to the gym once a week and is still fairly well barring all his other complaints , his consultant has now said he will most likely outlive his cancer . He’s taking himself away for a weekend soon .. he’s amazed me !

Some lovely positive stories in this thread.. question to those who have 'defied the odd' with treatable not curable cancer, was it always stage 4 as in spread to other organs etc? At the beginning of this with DM & would love to share some hopeful stories with her. OP how are you doing today after your call with nurse? So much to take in but hope you are feeling supported xx

Bless you Op sending you and your family positive vibes x

I'm sorry to hear about your DM.

My mother had lung cancer. It was the biggest shock, she had never even touched a cigarette, was an advocate for a non-toxic life. We only found out about the cancer once it had spread. For months she was almost bed ridden with no appetite, just so tired and she kept losing feeling on the left side of her body. She had frequent falls. She was 55, so they were not normal despite her GP claiming it was all down to stress. We eventually found out she had a large brain tumor. We were told at this stage she was days away from death, and if they could remove it, IF successful, it will only add weeks onto her prognosis. They gave my poor mum 6 weeks IF she was operated on that day, yet she still chose to fight and have the surgery. She just kept telling me that she was not going to die - and my goodness, she bounced back a million miles an hour after her surgery. I have never seen such strength.

She brought a house, went on holidays. For the first time in her life she lived because she knew she was not invincible.

The lung cancer, we knew would not be an easy ride but radiotherapy, and later, chemo, kept it stable for years while she lived it up.

I am just so proud of her strength. She knew her time was coming at the end and one day said she isn't going to fight this anymore, she was ready and at peace, had tied up the loose ends of her life and just was ready. Of course, if she was given the opportunity for more years she would have grabbed them, but she was ready to go. Her mindset had changed. She said she felt more alive than ever when she was dying. Ironic twist of fate and so cruel. She said she would rather have 5 amazing years than 25 'normal' years.

My thoughts are with you OP and to you and your DM too @backtoitin40s . If you want a real inspiring story, there is an instagram account called itsnotkates_time. I know her personally. She was diagnosed with the same cancer as my mum was so I just was heartbroken for her. She is a single mum to a little girl. She was given six months to live. She is currently cancer free. She put up a big fight as she had to for her little girl. Obviously what she has done will not work for everyone, but the point I am trying to make is that a whole lot of the fight seems to be just believing you're winning, mind over matter etc.

Fucking cancer. All the best and sorry for the super long post. I'm still working through processing things.

I am so pleased your DD is going to be there for you as well. Always good to have another set of ears and questions.
Just letting you know that I am in Aus so on the other side of the world if you can’t sleep and want a sympathetic ear. I am also training to be a palliative care nurse. (Very , very early days, so not going to offer much in the way of specific advice, and assume we do things slightly differently here too, but can find out things for you if you’re stuck, and can absolutely be
an empathetic “voice” in the night if you need one.)

I’m so sorry to read your post. Its such a shock diagnosis - I was diagnosed with stage IV non-small cell lung cancer in Aug 20. It had spread to so many places that I lost count.

However, there is so much that you can do to manage this as a chronic disease. I’ve taken many lessons from this experience including:

• replacing fear with hope and love and counting my blessings every day.

• taking an integrative approach and overhauling my diet (I was already a super healthy non-smoker but I needed to cut out all sugar and focus on cancer fighting foods), exercise and using specific supplements for lung cancer and repurposed meds

• assembling a team of medical experts from around the world who can support me on my journey. That took time but it gave me more control and understanding.

• staying positive and surrounding myself with positive people (I avoid the ones who just think I’m going to die - none of us knows when we are going to die)

• taking ownership of my healing journey by doing a lot of research - its my body and I decide what meds I take and quickly learned how to analyse bloods test results etc.

• understanding my cancer mutations and using targeted therapy drugs which can keep us alive long term - its not just chemo and radiotherapy. I’m now on 2 targeted therapy drugs and have in the past done 8 rounds of chemo and 2 rounds of radiotherapy. Its not been easy (or cheap) but I wake up each day so grateful to still be here.

This time last year I was in bed with chemo. Last week I went skiing and felt great. I’ve been in complete remission for a year now. The first few months after diagnosis are the worst as you adjust and get used to the treatments.
There is loads I could tell you about books, doctors, websites etc. so please DM me and I’m happy to chat to you.