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Life-limiting illness

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Original poster

I'm going to die and I'm petrified

152 replies

dewisant2020 · 28/02/2023 21:41

I'm not sure where to start really, I was diagnosed with lung cancer and today I went to see my specialist who's told me my prognosis is terminal.
My heads been all over the place, one minute im crying, the next laughing.
I am so afraid and keep having panic attacks.
Will I ever make peace with this I keep asking myself

OP posts:
Trickedbyadoughnut · 28/02/2023 22:38

Sending you love 💐

Rinkydinkydoodle · 28/02/2023 22:39

Am really sorry OP, didn’t want to read and not comment. I don’t know if it helps at this early stage to hear about other people, but as with a lot of other posters, I have a close family member who was also given a terminal diagnosis (oncologist estimated 18 months to 4 years LE) 8 and a half years ago.

There’s been all sorts of treatments, a lot of ups and downs, but her quality of life is pretty good even now. She was profoundly depressed at the outset and turned away from life a bit but has had a lot of laughs and fun since then and now takes the view it ain’t over til it’s over. I really hope you’ve got people with you to help. Take really good care of yourself and don’t put yourself under any pressure. X

Helpmegetajob · 28/02/2023 22:39

so sorry to hear this, what a shock. Take your time and be kind to yourself. Talk to someone in real life💐

northcountrylurker · 28/02/2023 22:40

I'm stage 3 so effectively 1 scan or test away from a stage 4 diagnosis, so thought about it a lot. Maybe I'm somewhat fatalistic about this but "stage 4" / "terminal" has so much weight and freaks people out at first - but it's just a label really and the only difference to a few weeks ago is now you know and can plan for the future - not everyone gets that chance. The diagnosis doesn't change the fact you will die, just like everyone will - just when, and of what, has become more concrete.

It doesn't help your head where it is right now - the storm right now will pass and it will be into practicalities of dealing with your condition, and at least short term that could be anything from a minor inconvenience to a major pain, so try to keep an open mind. The Macmillan forums and chatting to nurses and other patients will make this seem much more normal - there are many people who have lived for many happy years with a stage 4 diagnosis and happy to help talk to you.

Good luck OP.

FrostyFifi · 28/02/2023 22:40

OP I'm really sorry. I've read some amazing things about dosing or microdosing mushrooms really helping people come to terms with having a terminal illness if that's something you want to look at.

Estro84 · 28/02/2023 22:43

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Please start your own thread

AwwJeezyPeepsMan · 28/02/2023 22:46

❤️

indieray · 28/02/2023 22:47

FlowersFlowers

Amy2611xcx · 28/02/2023 22:49

So sorry to read this. Have you McMillan, or any local cancer charities? Last year a family member of mine received a huge amount of support, including counselling from a local charity after receiving a terminal diagnosis. They were also supported by McMillan a lot.

altershego · 28/02/2023 22:49

OP I'm so sorry to hear your news. Huge hugs from an internet random.

Thewolvesarerunningagain · 28/02/2023 22:49

Hey love, we're here for you. So ok terminal doesn't mean 'now' and there's a lot of road ahead. What have the hospital said?

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 28/02/2023 22:50

I'm sorry to hear this, OP. Flowers

Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals · 28/02/2023 22:54

Really sorry that you’re facing this, op. Have you got good real life support? It’s so tough and when my much loved family member got this news, it took a lot of energy to pick himself up, which he did and he lived with his illness - I think he had some good counselling to help him to come to terms with it. I hope that you have someone with you x

ThreeLocusts · 28/02/2023 22:54

I'm so sorry.

Just wanted to say, from what I've seen of friends/family with cancer - be careful with the notion of 'fighting' your illness. Perhaps it will help you, but whatever you do, don't make yourself think that you being unwell is a failure of yours.

But really I have no idea how I'd deal with this. I hope you can focus on what matters to you.

Words of Albus Dumbledore: death is but the next great adventure. Maybe that's a good line to take? But apologies if it feels facetious to you.

CuteCillian · 28/02/2023 22:56

There is a really supportive network of young women with lung cancer on Instagram. I suggest just_beingjules as your starting point.

spinspinsugar55 · 28/02/2023 22:57

Lots of love to you ♥️

Emmamoo89 · 28/02/2023 22:58

I'm so sorry. Sending love and hugs ❤️

katepilar · 28/02/2023 23:02

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tillyandmilly · 28/02/2023 23:04

💐 sending you strength at this time - how about an immunotherapy trial ?

frecklemcspeckles · 28/02/2023 23:04

@dewisant2020 im thinking of you and can't imagine how your head is right now. Please do contact any of the major cancer charities for support.
All of your reactions are completely valid. If you have support around you to from charities please talk to whoever you can.

BringMeTea · 28/02/2023 23:07

That is shit. I am so sorry. Sending love. Flowers

Zuffe · 28/02/2023 23:11

You will make peace, but not today or tomorrow. In a few days, weeks perhaps.

You will eventually realise you have the power to make the rest of your life count in ways that it would not had you continued as you were. Those days will be meaningful and incisive.

Iwannabeacrocodilehunter · 28/02/2023 23:11

💐

MadSad · 28/02/2023 23:16

I’m so sorry Op. this is horribly news. My mother in law was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in 2020. She had secondaries as well. Radio and chemo have been heavy going at times, but she’s still here. Very depressed for 9 months after diagnosis, obviously. She kept waiting to die and it just didn’t happen. Now she feels a bit in limbo.

Not helpful, I know. I hope you can find the strength to be pragmatic and also take some time to find some joy in what seems a very bleak situation.

bbypinkluffie · 28/02/2023 23:18

💐xxxx