Still the storm

[Willowkins]

Continuing the support thread - mostly for the partners of people living with terminal cancer - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/life_limiting_illness/3266385-The-calm-before-the-storm?pg=10

Home is good. The best.

Sending you love @notapizzaeater

He's gone 😭💔

notapizzaeater I am so very sorry to read your sad news. There are no words

Much love to you nota

I have been following your thread, and just wanted to say how very sorry I am for you and your families terrible loss.
I went through the same thing with my mum 26 years ago. Only breast cancer.
The way you have dealt with all the ups and downs of your husband's illness is awe inspiring and I am sure he is very proud of you. The love you have for him shines through from your posts.
Condolences to your family xx

@notapizzaeater sending love and strength for the days ahead. We are here for you if you need to talk

So very sorry for your terrible loss. 💐

I am so so sorry @notapizzaeater

@notapizzaeater my heart breaks for you, it all seems so very quick at the end. I know he went with love inside and surrounding him. If you ever need to talk in person (over the phone for now) please message me day or night. I will message you with my number 💔

Take care and know we are all thinking of you 💜

My most sincere condolences @notapizzaeater. I’m so so sorry this has happened to you and yours. I am wishing you all the support and comfort you need. Your poor heart xxx

So very sorry for your loss, notapizzeater, but glad for you and your DH that he was at home and with you at the end.

So sorry notapizzaeater, sincere condolences 💐

So sorry for your loss @notapizzaeater
Love and hugs and kind condolences

Thank you all, today's been a funny day, I've had to fix a curtain pole and wanted to phone DH to tell him 😭😭😭

I'm so very sorry. And the want of wanting to tell your loved one of the daily going ons still remains with me. So much to tell him, and I do xx

@notapizzaeater oh that has given me a reflexive ache for you xxx

Hi,new to this thread. I'm so sorry for your loss, my heart breaks for you and your family.
X

Thinking of you

I'm so very sorry @notapizzaeater. You must still be entirely numb. I hope there is some relief that he is not in pain any more.

I saw on the music thread that you are choosing music for his funeral. I found that so hard when I did it for my DH, but it was also some comfort, both in the tears it provoked and in the ways it made me think of who DH was before the illness, and the music that he had loved.

@notapizzaeater how are doing? I think you should feel able to talk about your DH's funeral plans here if you want to. After all most of us on this thread will be going through the same soon.
Dh being the ever practical man has already chosen a song he wants for his funeral and has given me strict instructions for "nice comfortable" handles on his coffin, so they don't hurt the hands of those carrying him.

In fact I would find it somewhat helpful (if that's the correct term) as I have never had to get involved, let alone arrange an entire funeral. At 41 I would have no idea where to start.

Obviously feel free to tell me to bugger off. As always thinking of you 💐

I will come back later to update, but was surprised to find they don't carry the coffin in COVID times, it's all on trolleys ! Lots of new 'rules'

For now I will try to find the elusive sleep 😤😤🤬

@notapizzaeater only when you feel ready 💜

Hope you're all doing ok.

I'm in limbo land still. The coroner has decided there's no need for an inquest so GP sent paperwork over to the registrars office. I can phone to chase tomorrow. Without the death certificate we can't really do much.

We live on a border of a county so picked the next county for the service as I'm allowed 30 people vs 16 where I live!

Luckily I'd squirrelled some money away in the bank account as I've had to pay for half the funeral up front. We've gone for a basic coffin, one car, bouquet of flowers (he'd be muttering !), embalming (so my family can go and see him, 2 only at a time) and it's coming in at £4200 ish, urn to get added when I've picked - think the one I like (as it doesn't 'look' like an urn looks like an ornament is £265.

Picking the songs has been hard, I've picked 2 up to now, Aerosmith - don't want to close my eyes and the Ellie Goulding - how long will I love you. I've been sent lots of questions from the celebrant so she can write about him - how do you condense 28 years of marriage ?

We've his final pay next week and his work has started the death in service claim fir me, no idea how long that should take ? Once I've the death certificate details tomorrow I can start letting banks, pensions etc know.

Our puppy has kept me busy thank god.

I've now had 11 bouquets of flowers delivered - if anyone I know ever dies I'm not buying flowers, I'm getting them a few 'hello fresh' sort of boxes. I've ran out of space to put them all! Some friends have bought gin and chocolate 🍫