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Original poster

Pancreatic cancer

34 replies

WentworthMillerMad · 14/10/2017 13:22

Hello everyone. I just found out yesterday that the chemo for my dad's pancreatic cancer has to stop. It's making him so unwell and it isn't making any difference to the size of the (large) tumour on his pancreas. It's pain relief only from now on. His oncologist has been fantastic - as has all of his care in the part of England that he lives.
Has anyone any experience of this disease? We all know his time left is now short and to say we are devestated is an understatement. I am grateful that we can hopefully have some good days together although we are all overwhelmed just now. My sister lives in Spain and will be over as much as she can.
I suppose I am just asking for anyone who has been in this position to share (if you feel able) to give me and my family an idea of what to expect.
Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
PinkFluffyFairy · 14/10/2017 20:51

Hi WENT, sorry I have no experience in this type of cancer but I just wanted to say I'm sorry your dad, you and your family are in this position (I know how you feel).
You're right to try and make these days now memorable.
Sending you lots of love. 💕🌈 x

glitterbiscuits · 14/10/2017 22:41

Hi
Sorry to read about your Dad. My mum had pancreatic cancer and died from it in 1998. It was pretty grim I can give you some more info if you want but do not want to terrify you. From all I have read nothing much has changed in the way of treatment. It’s one of the poor relations of cancer.

Original poster
WentworthMillerMad · 15/10/2017 13:51

Thanks everyone. Yes glitter I think I am ready to face the reality of what's happening.
Could you PM me as do t want to upset anyone reading this. Big thanks

OP posts:
glitterbiscuits · 18/10/2017 08:10

Hi, I haven’t worked out how to PM through the app. I will log onto PC later

DreamADream · 22/10/2017 18:21

Hi, a close family member of mine died of pancreatic cancer earlier this year. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It really is a properly bastard type of cancer to get.

In our case, he actually hung on for years longer than expected, which surprised everyone! I think it was about 2 years after the end of chemo, which was quite amazing really. I know it's usually a lot, lot sooner.

I think the hardest part for me was the not knowing, I spent 3 years on a knife edge wondering when it was going to happen (his cancer relapsed following surgery, so we knew it was terminal as soon as it came back).

If you want to pm me, I'm happy to chat!

Original poster
WentworthMillerMad · 23/10/2017 12:32

Thanks Dream - he is actually pain free just now and up and about so that's a blessing. I would love to plan a family Christmas but feels too far away just now. He oncologist says there is progress with treatment, sadly not for us but here's hoping for a major break through soon x

OP posts:
Flyingprettycretonnecurtains · 02/11/2017 18:20

Really sorry. My father went very quickly. His heart packed up with all the water retention. It was unexpected but merciful because we was in pain and not saying and deeply frustrated at not being able to be busy and out and about. He first had symptoms in January and died in March after only the second lot of chemo.

Drizz · 06/11/2017 13:46

So sorry Wentworth. My dad has hit the end of the road with treatments for pancreatic cancer last week. He was first diagnosed last year and he's managed to postpone the inevitable with chemo for much longer than we expected. I can't tell you about the road ahead, because it sounds like we're in very much the same stage but I am happy to support/chat/cry together if that is any use to you.

Original poster
WentworthMillerMad · 07/11/2017 21:08

Hi drizz - I am so sorry to hear that. It’s an awful disease. Yes I will keep posting / chatting.
My dad looks so thin and frail and he has lost the light in his eyes. I had a really low day on Sunday but being busy at work is a welcome distraction for me just now. Need to talk to the kids very soon and tell them the situation which I am dreading.

OP posts:
Drizz · 08/11/2017 20:18

How old are your children, Wentworth? Mine are 1 and 3 and we haven't told them, as we really didn't know when it would be necessary and the baby obviously won't understand. Our bright three yo has cottoned on, I think as he's been asking when people die, and where they go when they are dead... He does know dad is ill.

Re: christmas, my dad has three secondaries in the liver and is expected to see christmas, so yours might well too. We are postponing the conversation about what we'll do and how until it is a bit clearer how he feels by then, he's very scared of the pain recurring (he's had quite invasive pain management which has worked very well, but has had a taste of what is too come).

Handhold and look after yourself!

whitepearl17 · 08/11/2017 21:15

Hi OP and everyone else. I am so sorry to hear what you're going through or have been through. Pancreatic cancer is an evil cancer but I can give some hope. Seven years ago my dh was diagnosed with it. He had a whipple's procedure to remove his tumours and now he is fit and healthy. Well apart from having to live on meds and be very careful about what he eats. He ran a marathon earlier this year to raise money for pancreatic cancer. Take care x

pilou · 08/11/2017 21:26

Hi OP. I’m so sorry. My mum died of pancreatic cancer 10 years ago next month. She was given a few months but ended up managing nearly a year. Getting the palliative care right is really important. The Macmillan nurse was great. Mum managed to be up, dressed and engaged with what was going on right the way up to the day before she died. We couldn’t do much for her about the illness but we made sure just to be around as much as possible. Sorry you are having to go through this.

Original poster
WentworthMillerMad · 26/11/2017 19:51

Hi everyone, my dad was doing really well until this weekend. He has had 2 days in bed and is in pain so has had his morphine upped. Due to that he was quite rambling and confused today and very tearful. I am really scared that the end is close but if I am honest, relived. It’s awful to see him like this and he is hating it all (who wouldn’t).
Feeling v low today

OP posts:
echt · 27/11/2017 06:16

Have an antipodean hand hold. Thanks

FoxtrotSkarloey · 28/11/2017 14:16

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ.

Livness12 · 07/12/2017 22:10

Hey - how are you all doing?

My mum died from pancreatic cancer aged 54 back in 2011, so if you do have any questions or if there's anything I can help with, please do let me know.

It is a horrific illness to see, please do remember to look after yourselves when you can too.

DereksGotATail · 07/12/2017 22:17

Such a horrible, horrible disease.
A close relative passed away just 7 weeks ago with pancreatic cancer. From diagnosis to death was exactly 2 months and I can honestly say I was relieved that the suffering didn't last any longer.
For you Flowers

doglikescheeseontoast · 16/12/2017 09:49

My partner was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on Thursday, with what appear to be secondaries in the liver. The consultant said it would be unusual for someone in her situation to survive more than 6-8 months. Devastated doesn't begin to cover it.

Janika · 16/12/2017 12:34

So sorry. DP diagnosed June 17th with PC and lung mets given 6-12 months. Has had chemo since September and cancer no worse than it was 6 months ago. He will not entertain the fact that has cancer and oncologist can't understand why no symptoms or side effects (hair fell out but that's all). Reckons it's the positive attitude. Will continue with chemo until stops working or if and when side effects get too bad to manage.
Hope you have some similar result.
Shocking to get the diagnosis and couldn't operate as had already spread. Sending you both strength.

Drizz · 20/12/2017 15:32

Really sorry to read of those of you with newly diagnosed loved ones. Much love and strength to you both!

We're still hanging on. My father was diagnosed November 2016 and given 2-3 months to live. He's still here, thanks to chemo that worked Jan-June. Sadly his then spread to the liver and further chemo didn't work and had dreadful side effects. He's been off treatment, except pain management for 2 months now and we can see him failing. But we're planning a family Christmas, which we didn't dare to do a few weeks ago...

doglikescheeseontoast · 22/12/2017 05:36

Am so sorry for everyone going through this.

My partner (we are both female) has an MRI booked for 31st December to try to identify whether any palliative chemo might be appropriate, although the consultant is clear that we would need to consider that any time we are able to buy with chemo might not be good quality.

We have been sent a copy of the discharge letter from her hospital stay which states that the mets are in the liver and peritoneum, with 'a couple of odd lung nodules', whatever the fuck that means.

We got a call from the pharmacy saying that the medication prescribed by the hospital was ready for collection - when I went to collect it there were various meds and boxes and boxes of paracetamol, but the Zomorph and abdominal injections (can't remember their name - blood thinning injections) were missing. When I queried this, the pharmacist helpfully informed me that it is my responsibility to make sure all the items I expect are there and if not she will chase it up. Ok then.

Solicitor again today to finalise wills and POAs. Who knew dying was such a busy time?

Original poster
WentworthMillerMad · 24/12/2017 17:43

SO sorry everyone, such an awful disease. My dad is now bed ridden, confused and fading very fast. In many ways he died about 6 weeks ago, there is no quality of life at all now. Will visit again tomorrow morning and then a family Christmas Day - am determined for the kids we have a good day and as normal as possible. Love to you all xx

OP posts:
Original poster
WentworthMillerMad · 31/12/2017 12:34

My dad died very peacefully on 29th December and although we are all devastated, I do feel a small bit of relief and glad he is now at peace.
The medical team were incredible and people have been so kind, it does help.

OP posts:
QOD · 31/12/2017 18:49

So sorry to read this 💐

Caryfakes · 31/12/2017 18:58

So sorry to hear that your dad has died. My thoughts are with you and your family x