I think my DH is dying

[Hellenbach]

I can't sleep. It's been 13 years since DH was originally diagnosed with cancer. He had a big operation and we had many years of good health.

Then it came back and it's been a rocky road of different treatments over the past few years.

We are running out of treatment options now. He is currently on no treatment as the last one stopped working.

I can't believe how much he has deteriorated in the last few weeks. He has been bed bound for 6 days, barely eating and in pain. He is skin and bone and sleeps all day.

On Thursday he is going into hospital for radionuclide therapy. They will inject him with radioactive medicine. He has to stay in a lead lined room for 24 hours.

When he comes home he has to sleep in a separate bed for two weeks. We can't touch him for two weeks either. He has explained this to Ds1 who is 9 and very upset about it.

DS2 is 5 and has learning difficulties so is less aware.

I just don't know how DH will tolerate the treatment when he is so weak and frail. We are hoping it will stabilise the cancer. We won't know if it's worked until several weeks afterwards.

Just need a bit of hand holding.

Thinking of you. What an amazing, strong and wonderful wife and mum you are.

Thinking of you all Hellen.
You are probably running on adrenaline right now.
I'm glad he is home, I hope he can be kept comfortable with the pain well managed.
I'm sure you will all be making the most of the time you have.
I hope you are surrounded by caring people.

MN was here throughout my DH brain tumour and death
Mumsnet is here 24/7, there will always be someone to hold your hand. ❤️

So glad to hear your DH is home, Hellen.

Such a precious time to have together.

Wonderful news that your DH is home, Hellen. I hope the coming days allow you to make memories together that you can hold dear in the difficult times ahead.

All my love goes out to you, your DH and your DC. I am not inclined to prayer but, in this case, I will send up a prayer that your DH passes peacefully.

Thinking of you all too

Praying for you all. I hope when the end does come it is peaceful for him

Thinking of you and praying for you and your family

I don't know what to say other than I am thinking of you and your family and I hope you're all having a peaceful time together. Much love to you all xx

Thanks for all your kind wishes and prayers, it's a real comfort.We are living in the twilight zone now. DH had a couple of really good days when he got home but as the pain increases the meds increase and now he is asleep most of the time.

The DC appear to be coping. DS1 is staying off school and is completely aware that his dad will die this week.

DS2 has learning difficulties but is also aware, he is going to school as he loves his routine!

I am ok, finding all the different professionals in and out the house mostly okay but overwhelming. Family useless, as expected and friends fab, also as expected.

I am pencilling in a mini-breakdown after this is over but am holding it together at the moment.

Really hope when the time comes he slips away peacefully in his sleep and am pleased you have got him home with you and your children

It must be overwhelming having people in and out, I hope there is some peace in amongst it all to be with your DH in his last few days. So many people don't get the chance to say proper good byes so that's a very minor saving grace to a truly awful illness.

Thinking of you all. I actually think it's probably fairly healthy for you to recognise you are going to need some time out/major recovery from all of this. Hope you can hold it together as long as you need to. Do whatever you need to do from now on and also when it's all over.

Hugs to you Hellen

Here when you need us xx

hellen I hope that when the inevitable happens it is as peaceful and calm for you all as it can be. Your Dh will know that he is loved. Xx

Stay strong for now but allow yourself to cry once it's all done. You need to grieve to get through. also remember to eat

I've watched your thread Hellen, and I think of you often. I'll hold you and yours close to my heart . I hope this week brings a gentle departure and peace for all of you.

Thinking of you all, I'm another who has watched your thread unfold.

Wishing your DH a quiet, peaceful and loving death. Wishing you and your DC strength and love

for you Hellen and as with others, wishing you strength to get through this and the end is as peaceful and full of love as possible.

I've been following your thread from the beginning... I just want to say that I'm thinking of you, as so many people are. Wishing you so much strength

Wishing you everything you need to get through this. I don't know what else to say but you are in my thoughts and prayers

You and your family are in my prayers. Glad DH is at home with you, and hope that the end is as gentle as possible on all of you.

I have also been reading your thread, and thinking of you. Sending strength and love to you.

Sending you a cwtch Hellen. I hope this precious time together gives you all the chance to say everything you need to say and that the remaining time is filled with love and peace

In my prayers and thoughts xxx

Wrapping my arms around you all Hellen! Been here since the start of the thread, not sure if I've posted under this username before. I have no words really but it sounds like you're all coping. Sending you strength for this next week and beyond