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Original poster

Dh diagnosed with lymphoma last night

203 replies

GuyMartinsSideburns · 04/08/2015 02:07

i think exhaustion from crying knocked me to sleep last night but now I'm wide awake and my headache won't go.

Feels like it's a nightmare, first doctor said gastritis back in jan, then recently possibly Crohn's disease, and yesterday dh got this diagnosis after further scans etc,

We're waiting for more tests to find out exactly what we're dealing with.

I'm so worried. My mind is racing like crazy and I can't help thinking the worst. We're renovating our first home at the moment and due to move in during the summer hols, dh has a business that I'm now wondering how will manage, and with moving I'm going to be alone dealing with this. That sounds selfish I know and isn't my intention, I'm just aware of how strong I need to be for dh and our children and I'm terrified of what might be around the corner and how il cope. I'm nc with my family.

I just can't believe this is happening. Dh is 38. Any hand holding would be really appreciated right now, sorry for rambling.

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StephanieBeacham · 21/08/2015 16:46

It sounds like a proper balancing act. Talking to people will make you feel, and you may not always want to feel stuff, as it can be easier to put it to one side and continue with everyday things.

I'm glad if you have a few people you can call on though. Follow your instinct on that front and talk about it only when you want to.

Good to hear DH is up and about and checking on work Smile that has to be a good sign!

Original poster
GuyMartinsSideburns · 27/08/2015 15:35

Hello all

Does anyone have any idea as to when dh may start to put some weight on or stop losing it? He's eating well at the moment and has a good appetite but is still really slim. Is it usually after chemo has finished or maybe once he's had a few sessions of it?

He's not had a good few days tbh, he says he really aches similar to how you feel when you have flu. He's had a long lie in this morning, then did a couple of errands that he had to, and I sent him back to bed about an hour and a half ago.

We're moving house this weekend, have got a couple of people lined up to help with lifting things. Hopefully that'll go ok, it'll be one less thing to worry about once we're in.

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Original poster
GuyMartinsSideburns · 06/10/2015 18:34

Had some changes to treatment as further biopsy results showed that dh's cancer is a rare type and the usual r-chop would prob not be enough to get the result we want. So Sunday he was admitted and will be having continuous chemo for 4/5 days, hopefully home Friday evening. The name of the chemo escapes me. All the cancer support sites I went to for advice had no info whatsoever about this particular type, and even lymphoma association were unable to help. So this didn't help me feel any better as you can imagine!

Needless to say those results through everything up in the air somewhat and kicked the upset and anxiety in me back to the fore again but I'm trying to stay hopeful even though I constantly feel dread. He's put some weight on though and to look at him you wouldn't think anything was wrong.

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Anastasie · 06/10/2015 18:58

Hi Guy,

I'm really pleased to hear that DH has put on some weight, also that they seem to have a treatment option to work with. Even if it is a rarer form of cancer it means that there is research about it, and that they have things that will help. Let's hope the chemo they are going to use has a big impact.

I'm sorry I wasn't about when you last posted. I think it fell off my threads I'm on, and I have a brain like a sieve. (SB here)

How did your house move go? Are you sort of settled now?

Original poster
GuyMartinsSideburns · 06/10/2015 20:15

Hi Anastasie

the move went well thanks, we've been here just over a month now. The children are doing better than I ever could! Making new friends and getting involved in after school clubs which is lovely. I think I'm settling slowly, will probably feel better when more of the house is finished - decorating and furnishings etc. I'd like it a bit more cosy, I'm not sure it really feels like 'mine' yet. Obv now we're not taking home as much as we were before Dh got in so a lot of things are on hold.

I started a thread in gardening for some advice etc as I think a hobby would be good and I've always enjoyed trying to garden lol I don't have much energy at the moment but I'm gathering ideas and everyone on there is being really nice and helpful. Smile

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Original poster
GuyMartinsSideburns · 06/10/2015 20:15

*got ill, not got in!

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Anastasie · 06/10/2015 20:18

Sounds like you are doing well on the home front.

Garden thread is a smashing idea Smile Ours is about to enter its annual underwater phase. Mainly the bit under the trampoline. It becomes a pond Grin so I may come and join you and vicariously enjoy your garden instead.

Contact the onc when you can to ask about the treatment. They will be happy to fill you in I imagine.

Original poster
GuyMartinsSideburns · 09/11/2015 13:05

Just checking in. Dh has had 2 of the week long stays in hospital for treatment so far, and is going in on Sunday for week 3. There is also a scan booked for a few weeks time so that should be able to show us how things are going. I don't like to 'jinx' things but he's coping well with the treatment so far and I'm trying to keep positive. I don't like how every now and again you get the realisation hitting you of what might happen but I guess that's normal.

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Original poster
GuyMartinsSideburns · 15/12/2015 14:06

Not sure if anyone is still reading but I thought I would check in again. If anything it's good to see that the treatments are clocking up and hopefully we'll be out the other side of this soon. He had treatment no 4 last week so thankfully now he is home for two weeks and will go back for number 5 just after Christmas.

He's been to work this morning, and is feeling pretty okay in himself. He gets terrible leg pains for a day or so after treatment but can take morphine for this, and sometimes he seems to have a bit of a cold but aside from these symptoms he is coping extremely well with the treatments. The last treatment should finish at the end of January and then he will have a scan.

I just wanted to thank everyone who has supported me on this thread, even the lurkers Smile Mumsnet has been a huge comfort to me and it's good to be reminded that there are so many lovely people out there. I hope you all have a great Christmas and that 2016 is a better year for all of us xx

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DangerMouth · 15/12/2015 14:11

I've read your thread and just wanted to offer you Flowers

It sounds like you had a terrible year and l do hope 2016 is much better.

JE1234 · 15/12/2015 14:13

Hi Guy, under a previous (pre-Jeffgate) incarnation I gave some advice at the start of this thread. I'm so glad your DH is doing better and getting the treatment he needs. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and 2016 brings your family good health and happiness Flowers

Trumpton · 15/12/2015 14:21

Just to say sending you all very best wishes . It's such a horrible thing to be going through. I hope you have a good Christmas and that 2016 is kind to you.

StoptheRavelry · 15/12/2015 14:21

Hi love
Ana here...so pleased to see your update - that sounds so positive and hopeful - I really hope you do enjoy Christmas and that next year brings even better news.

FlowersStar

Wisteria1979 · 15/12/2015 14:22

I hope you have a lovely Christmas together in your new house!

Original poster
GuyMartinsSideburns · 15/12/2015 15:01

Ah thank you for the replies and well wishes, they are all appreciated. x

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velourvoyageur · 15/12/2015 22:46

just read your thread, and I really hope you can have a lovely calm family holiday this year, and very best wishes for 2016 xx :)
you, your DH & DC sound very brave, but remember to take care of yourself too
Hope the nights are not as bad at the moment too.
Flowers

Original poster
GuyMartinsSideburns · 16/12/2015 19:48

Thank you Velour, it's swings and roundabouts but somehow we are all getting through it. It's been a big lesson in learning just how much I am able to cope with x

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Original poster
GuyMartinsSideburns · 03/01/2016 11:47

Hi all me again.

Dh recently came home from treatment no5 so he's got one left to do. This seems to have increased my anxiety and upset somewhat, because I guess we might have to be told that the treatment hasn't worked. I am in bits, I keep having to go off for a cry. Having christmas to focus on and being able to tell myself "we're doing what the Drs have told us to" meant that I had something to take my mind off 'the end' and I was just able to coast along with it. Now it's all up in the air again, and I have a couple of weeks with dh then his final treatment, and then the outcome. I'm so scared Sad

Dh has been so strong through it all up until now, he has been devastated and had a few cries so I know he has the same worries as me. I hate cancer and everything it does. I will always be worried about it - if it goes will it come back? Will I be diagnosed one day? The children? This will never leave me alone.

I'd 'hope' (if that's the right word) that if it wasn't working we/they would have had an idea of this by now?! I need something to cling on to.

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1234hello · 04/01/2016 20:21

Hi Guy

I did post last night but obviously didn't work for some reason. Just to give you some Flowers really. But also to say, I think you're doing really well and what you're feeling about results approaching is surely normal and to be expected.

Though it's easier said than done, try not to let the worry consume the next few weeks, make the most of not knowing if that makes sense.

There is every reason to hope that the treatment has helped.

velourvoyageur · 05/01/2016 11:44

Oh Guy, I totally get your anxiety, and I hope the time passes more quickly than you're anticipating. It's such a hard situation.
Crying is part of being strong btw, acknowledging your feelings is so important and yet uncomfortable. I suppose just, try to keep busy & have as much family time as possible? Keep crying together, don't isolate yourselves, but maybe don't leave too much time to worry.
All best wishes Flowers

Bloody cancer. It's so fucking unfair. sorry you have to deal with this.

TheFormidableMrsC · 05/01/2016 11:57

I have just read this thread for the first time and wanted to send best wishes to you, your DH and your DC's. You have been amazingly strong, all of you. You last posted mid-December. I truly hope that DH is doing well and that you will shortly have a positive outcome. I have been down this road with my Mum (different cancer) and know how bloody tough it is.

Thinking of you Flowers

TheFormidableMrsC · 05/01/2016 12:00

Sorry, just realised I missed your post of a couple of days ago...keep on keeping on lovely.

Original poster
GuyMartinsSideburns · 06/01/2016 07:15

Thank you very much for your replies. It's just a horrible horrible situation, I don't have a lot to say this morning. I'm hopeful, obv but Sad

Another day to get through X

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JE1234 · 06/01/2016 07:21

It's so natural to feel like that at this stage. It's such an emotional roller coaster. Everything so far suggests he has been responding well so you may get some very good news soon. Try to just get through one day at a time, every day is precious. We'll all be thinking of you Flowers

Original poster
GuyMartinsSideburns · 06/01/2016 12:02

Thank you JE1234, Dh has popped into work again today as he's concerned the business is suffering. It's all just more worry.

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