I posted this earlier on MS society talk pages, but nobody has replied - I am feeling very low and was hoping someone might chat to me. I figure mumsnet has more traffic hopefully! I feel like I am dealing with vague issues alone. I don't have a firm diagnosis, and am suffering from the anxiety and in-limbo feeling that this causes.
Four years ago just after my daughter was born I suffered a severe and sudden episode of double vision and partial facial paralysis. I was treated with strong steroids, which cleared the problem almost instantly. I had an MRI and lumbar puncture, both of which indicated that there was a strong chance that I have MS, but was told that diagnosis would not happen unless I had any further attacks.
Now I am suffering all sorts of odd symptoms that could be related or not. My vision is affected by a sort of shimmering affect like a migraine aura, only it never develops, just comes and goes but I've had it for around three weeks now (I think!). It also feels like my right eye is looking through a window but my left isn't - hard to explain, but my right eye just doesn't seem to be focussing quite as well. I've got tinnitus, which I usually have, partly because I get blocked ears a lot, but I feel it's worse than usual. I feel a bit nauseous, a bit dizzy, sometimes a bit disassociated. I also get a slightly tingly feeling across my back when I bend forward - again, this is nothing new for me and GP previously told me not to worry about it and many people have positional issues that cause slight nerve tingling. I am also suffering a bit from what I think are anxiety symptoms: my heart is beating hard, my normally slightly shaky hands are more shaky than normal. I've also got random itches all over the place. All of these symptoms come and go in various combinations.
I have been referred to the neurology dept for an "urgent" appointment, which means I have to wait over 2 months! My GP has said if it gets worse to go to the A&E, but really last time it was all so horrible that I don't want to have to go through with that again if I can't help it. I also feel that on the scale of things my symptoms are very minor so I shouldn't complain, and there's really no need for A&E but I am feeling very upset and anxious.
I suppose I am partially worrying that it could be something else entirely that needs treatment before September. On the other hand I'm also worrying that if it is MS, given it's not very severe, perhaps it's not an "attack" - I'm now starting to think that perhaps it has just been a gradual build-up of symptoms over the course of six months or so, and that this is just a general deterioration in health rather than a relapse. My husband tells me of course it will go away again, but I am scared that it won't.
Obviously, if it's progressive rather than remitting there won't be anything I can do about it, but I'd be interested to hear whether anyone who does have relapsing-remitting has very mild relapses?
Any advice on how to stop myself worrying? How to explain my worries to my family without upsetting my little girl?