Help. Asexual trans parent starting to hate DH

[Heckyes]

This is gonna be a long one, so I'm sorry in advance.
I'm a physical female, identify trans agender, which means I don't feel I'm a man or a woman. I am the sole wage earner, married to a male for over 10 years, have family home, pets etc.
I have never been traditionally sexual/sensual and have always been more intellectual. Any body stuff bothers me, to be honest.
I had my DS 7 years ago. I had a number of mental and physical issues during pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Physically traumatic birth, cuts, scars, infections, you name it.
Where previously I put up with sex and other intimacy (cuddles, kisses) now even the thought makes me deeply uncomfortable. I'm also on medication for anxiety. I consider myself asexual now, where before I guess I'd just have said I had a very low sex drive.
My DH is generally very supportive but the idea that he's never going to have sex or intimacy again is obviously making him irritable and upset. He seems to feel that I "just need my sensuality reawakening". I even went to a sex therapist and she asked me why i wanted help. The only reason could give was that my husband wanted sex and i didn't.
How do i explain that i don't have a sexual side anymore? That I don't need "fixing", that just because I dont want sex doesn't mean I'm broken. He just keeps coming back to "you were sexual before".
I'm beginning to hate him for it. Can anyone help, offer an opinion?

Thank you albadross and Shifty. Believe me I'm never in a hurry to label myself anything! And I am always willing to look at anything that may help.
I'm also quite open to believing that my views/thoughts around my gender, body, sex and such have been enhanced or solidified by trauma. However I also believe they've always been there.

I don't think DH thinks he's the one that needs counselling, but I'll definitely try to suggest it.

Intrigued by the potential ASD has in understanding intimacy boundaries. I don't like people touching me in general.

Sentimentallentil I understand :) my physical body confuses, frustrates and frightens me a lot. If I was in a relationship with it, I'd say we had serious trust issues.

If you're beginning to hate him just imagine how he feels. Maybe suggest that he looks for physical intimacy outside of the marriage? He'll leave you alone then without feeling like he's been forced into celibacy.

This might sound utterly bonkers but are you able to connect to your body at all?
So like if I was to ask you if you could feel your toes are your able to feel them or do you just imagine what they feel like?

Ttbb hi, if I thought he'd go for it I'd suggest it. Definitely. But I think it would upset him more somehow.

Sentimentallentil I'm hyperaware of my body. Like you'd be hyperaware of where every spider in your house was if you lived in Australia. I often think my body is going to kill me, so the spider analogy works in many ways.
I can feel my toes :)

www.autism.org.uk/sensory

Scroll down and read the oversenstive to touch bit.

I might be totally off but I thought of this straight away x

Well that would certainly explain why i have to get rid of otherwise perfectly good clothes.
Thank you. I feel slightly less crazy for having read that. X

Is your hatred for your husband coming from the resentment you feel because you don’t want to be physical with him and he wants to be with you?
You seem able to articulate yourself well so I’m assuming you’re having good communication with him. Do you still find him attractive even if you don’t want to physically touch him?
I’m just wondering if there were other ways to be intimate that would show him you still loved him and keep the closeness?