DS is transgender (ftm)16 and happy

[crazyhat]

He is ftm (female to male) and 16, he has been on Testosterone for 7 months and is getting top surgery (breast removal) at 17, over summer. I want to help people understand transgenderism, as I see a lot of casual transphobia on here. Feel free to ask any questions about transitioning, anything is okay to ask, I just want you to understand.

If you have a DC in a similar situation I can help.

I'm leaving this thread now as genuine posters are being deleted for asking questions/expressing their concerns.

How is your child planning on mitigating the long term effects of testosterone? How do you/they feel about a significantly shorter life expectancy?

we have discussed that it is his fault and he's said many times that he wouldn't want us to do anything different. This is what he needs now and he can't blame us.

I can't believe any parent who has thought things through would ever say this about a child. It is not the child's 'fault' and never will be. You as the parent are responsible for bringing up your child and giving them the wisdom and skills to live an adult life. It is not about apportioning blame.

Ignore the shitty comments, people on here are surprisingly transphobic.
Well done for supporting your son, I'm sure you and him aren't doing any of it lightly, I hope he lives a very happy life as a man.

As the parent of a DC in a relationship with a ftm trans man, I am devastated by the implications of this relationship becoming life long as DC seems to think it will.
I cannot articulate my worries as it comes over as transphobic. I worry so much for my DC.

I feel so sorry for the child in this situation.

Adult women can't get sterilised in their early 20s as they may change their minds. A girl who thinks they are a boy should be allowed to fully develop before anyone is willing to perform surgery or provide them with life-changing drugs. Anyone who supports this before about the age of 25 is doing a great disservice to our young people.

What Slappadabass said.......I cannot believe the sheer arrogance and hatred in some of the comments on this thread.

Your dc are lucky to have you supporting them in their lives, OP.

i have not made pour judgements, he made them himself and fully consented to everything he's doing. He knows it's on him if he changes his mind

If someone has mental health issues how capable are they at making these choices? Are they troubled because they're trans or trans because they are troubled. Did your child spend any time in therapy?

OP when you say it was about his body, I’m wondering what in particular made him feel compelled to transition.

I only know two people who have started the process of transition also in Hull. Waiting lists were very long.

I have often said I can’t believe how difficult it is for women to get sterilised but I suppose they see that as a cost that is more likely to be put into the private sector.

“ Adult women can't get sterilised in their early 20s as they may change their minds”

Trust me, this is also refused in 30s and 40s!

He strongly believes that he should've been born male and that can't be equated to

That's so sad, why would you support them hating their reality. Do you agree there's something wrong with their body rather than their mind

Well said starfish

we are in UK, the surgeon is located in Hull

Brian?

Poor child. So sad to feel that the only way to accept yourself is mutilating surgery at such a young age. A decent amount of psychological input might have prevented it.

Supporting a child by not encouraging them to be themselves? By placing sexist expectations on them? By agreeing with a perfectly normal child that there is something physically wrong with them Just because they haven't grown into their body yet? By Forcing a child to grow up too young? By failing to show them that many gender dysmorphia teenagers grow into perfectly happy adults!? By refusing to countenance that idea that many women have lived through such experiances for millennia ? By not showing the child options?

Why would you still like a daughter? What is different about a daughter that means you would like to have one of those as well as a son? What difference does it make? Does it somehow change what a person is if they are considered to be a boy rather than a girl?

That link is so sad Indefatiguable

From it

“The first time I really knew was when I was like three or four.

It was just not understanding why it wasn’t alright for me to run around without my shirt on and do all the stuff my little brother was doing.”

Not letting a 4 year old be topless and not letting them do ‘boys’ things.

Did you tell your child they were perfect as they are? When was the point that you let them know you agreed that there was something 'wrong' about them?

Devastating.