DS is transgender (ftm)16 and happy

[crazyhat]

He is ftm (female to male) and 16, he has been on Testosterone for 7 months and is getting top surgery (breast removal) at 17, over summer. I want to help people understand transgenderism, as I see a lot of casual transphobia on here. Feel free to ask any questions about transitioning, anything is okay to ask, I just want you to understand.

If you have a DC in a similar situation I can help.

I still want to know what the girly things are!

If you didn't transition, you were not feeling what my child feels?

Rubbish. for centuries the ability to have hormones and surgery was not available. What happened to all those girls?

But not always

No, that’s why I didn't say always.

The posters who say they had feelings when they were young and then grew out of them (as I did too) do need to realise you clearly did not have the SAME true feelings as a trans person then, otherwise you would have been so overwhelmingly desperate to change you would have done it!
Trans people have existed for thousands of years so unless you all changed your name and lived as the opposite sex and told all your family and friends for a number of years and genuinely lived as the other sex , no you didn't go through it and grow out of it.

I expressed a wish to be a boy on more than one occasion. But the world in the 1990s was very different to the world in the 2010s. In the 1990s my mum said “well you can’t be a boy because you are a girl. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything you want to do. You come from a long line of women who have done impressive things. Now do you want me to take you to running or not?”

@lookingsparkly you know what girly things are. I'm talking about the stereotypes, which he never was. Nor was I, I was a solid tomboy. But the difference is that I don't have the desire to physically be male, and have the same hatrid towards my PSC and SSC as he does. Stereotypes are just signs in childhood, and I'm not suggesting that it should be used to transition children under 16, but it was undeniably a sign and then as he got older those signs only progressed.

you know what girly things are

I don't.

And that sorted it did it?

Your gender dysphoria was cured by your mum saying no, now do you want to go running or not?

Or, alternatively you didn't have gender dysphoria you were just musing about what it would be like to be a boy?

“ Don't be pedantic, that's just childish”

I wasnt trying to be pedantic.

Transitioning would not have been an option when I was a child.

@familyofaliens he can't be happy! Imagine a man with breasts, they would not be happy. He can't do sport the way his body is and he can't wear certain clothes which makes him feel self conscious. He can't share a room with people (eg sleepovers, NCS, even his own brother) he's missing out on opportunities and I can't stand to see that. It's more than just being self conscious though because it's not that he thinks he's fat or something, it's that he genuinely doesn't think he should've ever developed breasts.

This thread makes me want to cry. Our poor children.

@autumnrose1 obviously women have testosterone, I am not a unintelligent. Clearly I mean higher amounts of Testosterone, like a man. Don't be pedantic, that's just childish

Quick google but several articles show that Testosterone can improve mood in women. regardless of gender identity.

www.doctordirect.com.au/pdfs/trial_testosterone-therapy-premenopausal-women-2003.pdf

I'm talking about the stereotypes, which he never was.

Neither are most children. The ones I work with every day in school display a wide variety of personalities and behaviours. I’ve never met a child who conformed 100% to the stereotype for their sex.

Mumsnet HQ have said they will suspend my account for my post asking about the alleged wrongness of the op’s dd’s body ON A THREAD WHERE THE OP SAYS HER CHILD IS IN THE WRONG BODY.

Universe, obviously 🙄

He can't do sport the way his body is

So you can’t do sport if you have breasts

@crazyhat and @runawaywithusthissummer I can't even imagine what you are going through and how impossible it must feel. I don't know how I would feel if my DD or DS came and told me they were trans.

For those questioning @crazyhat'S approach, what else do you suggest? What practical things should she be doing? Are you saying Trans isn't a thing at all? At what age should he DC wait till to be sure?

Have you seen these lovely people crazyhat?

I'm not passing any judgement, just conscious you may not have come across other viewpoints from young people almost the same age as your child.

www.piqueresproject.com/

Do you think your DC has a "male brain", given you say they are male but clearly they have a female body? If so, what is a male brain?

What will your DC do if they want to have children in the future? How can they be sure they don't want to at 16, given that most 16 year olds feel like that but most 30 year olds don't?

Your gender dysphoria was cured by your mum saying no, now do you want to go running or not?

No - of course not. I still hated my body and found periods horrific. But it framed it as a fact of life that I needed to get on with. I don’t think I did have gender dysphoria. I think I was a tomboy who found puberty very very difficult. But I was able to grow into a woman who was reasonably happy with her body.

I agree that my mum’s approach would not have worked with someone who was genuinely ill rather than just (quite reasonably) someone who had realised that woman were still treated as second class citizens and was really cross about it.

But what I wonder is what if instead of a matter of fact approach someone had said “oh my! Do you think you might be trans? Maybe you really are a boy.”

I suspect I’d have been nodding along. It would have explained everything. I don’t know how far down the path I would have gone. But it does scare me looking at my children that I might have made decisions as a child that meant that they didn’t exist.

@BetweenTheMoon

I sure as fuck wouldn’t attempt to resolve depression with surgery and treatment that leaves you infertile.

So so wrong, your child is still a child ( under 18) and you are approving of these actions. I really hope neither you nor your dc regret these choices in later years.

I think the transgender choices children are making, will make current PPI issues seem totally insignificant wrt compensation.

Not necessarily @Mumoftwoyoungkids haven't you heard of the thousands of detranstioners out there? They started to make those changes to their bodies then changed their minds. Because that's what people do. Or are you in the no true trans camp?