My child has just come out as trans 😊

[happylittlefish]

My ds13 (was dd) has just told me they're transgender. He'd always been a very extreme 'tomboy' and has told me he's always felt like a boy and would like me to call him by a new name and use correct pronouns, which I am happy to oblige.

We're going to get his hair cut soon and have ordered a binder (very aware of how to use it).

I have a few questions though:

1. How is the best way to tell family/friends?
2. Should I inform school or wait a while? I'm scared he'll be bullied.
3. What actually lies ahead for ds?
4. What are the next steps?

Thank you for anyone who can help 😊

Thank you Missy for some great advice. Quite a lot of anxious Mums around with "boyish" daughters who have picked up a message that it is easier to go down the route of gender reassignment that learn to be comfortable with their natural individual expression.

Missy that's a great post.

Just came in to say anorexia is about control not gender, controlling your body to look less feminine is one tiny aspect for some anorexic women but by no means the 'main reason' for it so that is literally bollocks. I specialised in this area for ten years . And yes I would agree it's very concerning to hear about it combined with the new issues op 's child is now raising.

Great post, Missy, and cbigs' point is important too.

This link earlier up the thread is really terrifying... :(
transywansy.wordpress.com/2016/07/15/transition-one-treatment-for-a-collection-of-conditions/

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/breast-ironing-abhorrent-practice-becoming-endemic-in-uk-a6950521.html

OP if your child was born female they will ALWAYS be female. Stop pandering to this nonsense that they can change sex. They can ape the other sex, that's all. You are feeding your child's self hatred, that's all

Seconded joystir59

I can't see any of the links apart from the breast ironing one?

• Anyone got any information about the Netherlands (mentioned above) and the way they treat?

• Anyone got any statistics or info about binding being harmful that is NOT about using bandages or tape but using "proper" binders (look like heavy duty sport bras)?

Interested as DD2 is convinced that she is FTM but I am holding back as she is ASD diagnosed (what used to be Asperger's) and has a history of phases of overwhelming interests/obsessions. She bought herself a sports bra type binder from G2B. I have let her use it as the lesser of two evils - better she wears this and goes to school than shouts/screams/refuses school.

Housemum, at the risk of seeming controversial, you might be interested in what a psychologist says about ASD and transgenderism: omny.fm/shows/on-point-with-alex-pierson/toronto-doctor-in-trouble-for-comments-about-trans