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LGBT children

This board is primarily for parents of LGBTQ+ children to share personal experiences and advice. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful that this is a supportive space.

My dd just told me she is gay and I'm really not sure I handled it well.

141 replies

shakinstevenslovechild · 07/02/2014 20:28

She is 9 and told me that she has feelings for one of her friends, I (stupidly) assumed it was a boy and then she started crying and told me it was a girl.

We hugged and I told her it didn't matter if she had feelings for boys or girls or both and I was proud and pleased that she could speak to me about it and all I ever want is for her to be happy and I would always love and support her etc.

But then I started telling her about different kinds of love, love for friends and love for partners and I upset her all over again and she, once again told me it was girlfriend feelings she has, not friend feelings.

We chatted a bit more about it all and she went to bed quite happy and she said she was relieved to have told me but I feel like I have been totally dismissive of her feelings and messed it all up now by a) assuming it was a boy she had feelings for when she told me and b) going on about loving friends when she blatently told me that it wasn't like that.

Can anyone tell me how I can salvage the open and honest relationship I have with her, and maybe recommend a book or some other way to help her deal with her feelings. She seems to be struggling a bit at the moment, although my 13yo son came in when we were talking and she told him and he said 'I don't care who you love, you will always be stinky to me' and gave her a hug and that seemed to ease her a bit (can't believe he handled it better than I did) she seems to be a bit ashamed just now Sad

OP posts:
EmpressOfTheWellOfLostPlots · 12/02/2014 20:55

Stonewall are focusing a lot on schools at the moment so I think they'd be thrilled to hear from your head.

You should be really proud of yourself. Honestly. I know you don't think you handled it well initially but you sound like the best mum your DD could possibly have.

BadlyStuffedWalrus · 12/02/2014 21:07

You have done brilliantly. My mother took to her bed for weeks when I came out. Just let her be who she is. She's very little in the grand scheme of things and who she is now may not be who she is later. Keep being the extraordinary parent you seem to be.

EmpressOfTheWellOfLostPlots · 12/02/2014 21:11

Sorry this is a tangent - but Badly Stuffed Walrus, were you inspired by a visit to the Horniman Museum?

BadlyStuffedWalrus · 12/02/2014 21:15

Yes!

EmpressOfTheWellOfLostPlots · 12/02/2014 21:16
Grin

DD used to spend many hours making a racket in the hands on music gallery.

shakinstevenslovechild · 12/02/2014 21:19

Thank you both, I really did do badly to start with, but I think I've managed to turn it around now, although I imagine I will mess up again at some point, I have explained to dd that this is all new to me as well so we are learning together so hopefully I'll be forgiven when I do.

I just googled that museum Grin it looks awesome. I'm so jealous you have both been. I might arrange a trip in the summer holidays, all the museums here are really boring.

OP posts:
EmpressOfTheWellOfLostPlots · 12/02/2014 21:25

I would - it's great! Lovely grounds too and not far from Crystal Palace Park which is also well worth a visit. Although it's up quite a steep hill so I'd recommend getting the bus up from the station if you're on public transport.

You might find these people helpful to you personally as well.

shakinstevenslovechild · 12/02/2014 21:49

It's actually not too far from where we live, a couple of hours on the train by the looks of it, so I might well do that, Crystal Palace Park looks great aswell. We were going to head down there on the summer anyway but I hadn't really made a plan of what to do so thanks for the ideas.

Thanks for the PFLAG link too, I may need some help in future, I keep noting things down that I hadn't thought about so it would be good to talk to someone really.

Things like I have told dd about sex and how babies are made, however I have only told her about men and women and sex. I have no clue at all how to handle any questions that may well come about now, and lots of other little things that I just never thought of before now. I am so not prepared for this, however I suppose this will benefit my younger dds education too so i need all the advice I can get really so I don't mess up again.

OP posts:
EmpressOfTheWellOfLostPlots · 12/02/2014 23:12

Feel free to PM me - happy to answer questions if I can!

shakinstevenslovechild · 13/02/2014 14:49

Thank you so much Empress

Sadly dd told her dad last night and his words to her was 'you aren't a dyke' dd obviously hadn't heard that word before and was a bit confused, and he and I talked after I sent dd to bed and he thinks I have 'just made out to her like this is normal' and I'm 'validating her feelings by talking to her and going to the school'.

I am just furious, he was telling me it's my fault because I allow her to go to a boxing club and let her cut her hair short, and lots and lots more besides.

I am so fucking angry with him, after all the hard work the school and I and dd have put in he turns out to be a homophobic little prick and knocks her back down again Sad

OP posts:
EmpressOfTheWellOfLostPlots · 13/02/2014 15:14

Then she needs you and the school even more.

My dad reacted like that initially too - I was about 21 when I told my parents and because of his comments I cried for 2 days, then said nothing about it to my family for the next 6 years or so. Eventually he and my mum both came to our civil partnership and now he and DW get on quite well. But yes, the first reaction can bloody hurt.

In Dad's case though I think a lot of it was fear. He knew nothing about lesbians apart from the stereotypes, he always assumed I'd get married and have kids and he thought I was telling him I was going to lead some kind of lonely, perverted life where I was shaven, pierced, covered in tattoos and an outcast from society. He had to realise that I hadn't changed and that being gay was a positive thing for me. It sounds like your DH might be coming from somewhere similar.

I have no idea whether that helps...

EmpressOfTheWellOfLostPlots · 13/02/2014 15:17

Also, in light of the boxing club and short hair comments - as a child I always had long hair, wore a lot of dresses and wasn't at all into what your DH would consider 'boy stuff'.

Pendeen · 13/02/2014 15:21

Good grief she is only 9 years old! A Child.

Stop treating this as if she is an adult and accept she is a child and cannot possibly be 'straight' or 'gay' or any other label she has heard and probably misunderstood.

MadIsTheNewNormal · 13/02/2014 15:26

I think in the past loads and loads of young girls (and probably boys) had childhood crushes on friends of the same sex but they didn't feel any need to label themselves as gay back then, because identifying as gay was not openly talked about or accepted. These days it is - almost to the point of promoting it, which means that kids who have these confused crushes while they are developing their personality, their sexuality etc., often feel compelled (or inspired) to nail their colours to the mast rather too early, and will quite possibly 'grow out of it.' In much the same way as many gay adults have arrived at being gay after years of acting/aspiring to be straight as teenagers, but grew out of it.

I think you handled it really well, I think it's great that she could say those things openly, but it would not surprise me at all if, by 13, she said 'Aw shucks Mum, that? I was just a kid having an identity crisis.'

But if not, and she is gay through and through then she will be confident that you support her, whatever.

EmpressOfTheWellOfLostPlots · 13/02/2014 15:28

Pendeen, I doubt you're speaking from experience of having / being a gay child. The OP's DD, who sounds like a pretty thoughtful and intelligent kid, feels that she's gay. She's surrounded by straight images. The OP wants to give her DD the right to be herself, whoever that is, and is looking for ways to do that.
Telling her family is a big thing for the DD and the OP is doing exactly the right thing by taking her seriously and being supportive.

Lilka · 13/02/2014 15:34

I'm sorry :(

he thinks I have 'just made out to her like this is normal' and I'm 'validating her feelings by talking to her and going to the school'

Damn right you're validating her feelings and letting her know it's normal. Good job mum

I had bad reactions from some family too, but not my mum or dad - that's not to say they weren't a bit disappointed and not too happy about it and to be honest I expected that, but they didn't say anything homophobic to me, and eventually with time (probably about 10 years) they were very supportive of 'whatever made me happy'

I've always been a single mum and so I've never been in a situation where a partner and I have had vastly different opinions about anything like this. I can only say that he's utterly wrong, as I'm sure you know. It's not a 'fault' of any kind, and you can't make a child heterosexual by dressing them in pink and banning them from boxing. The only thing you've done by letting her go to boxing is, ooh lets think, given her an opportunity to do something fun and interesting which she likes, which will keep her fit and healthy and hopefully be a confidence booster. Good job again mum.

Lilka · 13/02/2014 15:48

Stop treating this as if she is an adult and accept she is a child and cannot possibly be 'straight' or 'gay' or any other label she has heard and probably misunderstood

sigh

When I was 9, I felt different. I didn't realise why until later because I never heard the word 'lesbian' and had no idea what my feelings meant or were, and so I couldn't say 'I'm a lesbian' until I was about 13, but oh yes, I was gay at 9. And if I was gay at 9, why can't another child be?

Sexuality isn't just about sex. Which is why some people can be aware of it from a very young age. It's bigger than that. Children don't magically change overnight on their 16th birthday or whatever - emotional development is a gradual process and having crushes and maybe feeling confused about it is also a gradual, normal thing which can start young

Even if OP's daughter will go on to develop crushes on boys as well/instead of girls, right now she is struggling a bit - when she told her mum, she was sad and confused. So right now she needs support and validation. No one is telling the DD that she is gay - they are telling her that if she has a crush on a girl at school, that this is NORMAL and OKAY and not something bad, to feel upset or ashamed about. And in order to do this, the school are involved and are going to take some proactive steps to make school a better environment for a child who is confused about their emotions

What would you want them to do differently? Say 'no, that's wrong, your feelings don't exist, you can't possibly have a crush on anyone?' Well, the OP's daughter is feeling something, so doing that is only going to upset and confuse her more. Why wouldn't you
A) say that starting to have some kind of feelings for other people is a normal part of growing up
B) say that you can have crushes on both boys and girls, and either is totally fine
C) explaining a bit about sexuality because she is confused and upset about why she has a crush on a girl
D) Tell her that whatever happens in the future you, the mum, support her and will not care about whether the person she has a crush on is a boy or a girl

Daykin · 13/02/2014 16:18

Pendeen you sound like my Mum. Every feeling belittled. It sucks.

shakinstevenslovechild · 14/02/2014 11:37

Empress thank you for sharing that with me, the fact that your Dad reacted as my 'D' H did and then you didn't say anything for 6 more years terrifies me. That is the last thing that I want my dd to do while she deals with her feelings. In 15 years of marriage I never considered for one moment that he would ever react like he did.

I do think it may be, like your Dad, down to fear and not really understanding (not that I do either, but I am really trying) so I have printed off some of the links from this thread for him and given him the PFLAG number. He is refusing to talk about it just now, which is no bad thing at this point, hopefully he will come around in the next few weeks, if not I will have some very difficult decisions to make Sad

Mad thank you for your thoughts, I think if this had been about a crush on one girl then I would probably not have gone to the school for help, from what she says this has been a feeling she has had for a long time, she has had crushes on girls before, but even when she hasn't, she hasn't felt the same way as her classmates, for example she doesn't look at boybands and want to talk about who is the cutest etc because it doesn't feel right to her, she can't fully articulate it yet other than to say she knows she feels different, and I don't want to push her into talking about things she may feel uncomfortable discussing with me (and I have told her and the guidance teacher at school that, as long as it isn't anything I absolutely have to know about, that neither of them need to discuss their talks with me) but this is, at this point, about more than having a crush on one girl .

It is very possible that she could tell me that she likes boys next week, next month or next year, but, for now, this is how she feels and I have to be supportive. We have also had talks about the possibility of feeling different ways in the future, she may begin to like boys, she may not and she may like girls and boys, but she knows that she can come to me at any time and talk about it.

Lilka thank you, I have so much issue with what he said, even when he said that it's my fault, the word 'fault' makes it sound like something to be ashamed of, not much wonder my poor dd is struggling. I just told her that her Dad is a bit scared because it's all new to him as well and his reaction was a bit silly, she pretty much rolled her eyes, said it was fine because this time last week she was scared too, and then got on with talking about this project she is doing with the school (she is so excited about it). Thankfully he is working away a lot over the next couple of weeks so he can deal with his feelings without bringing dd down.

When I was 9, I felt different. I didn't realise why until later because I never heard the word 'lesbian' and had no idea what my feelings meant or were, and so I couldn't say 'I'm a lesbian' until I was about 13, but oh yes, I was gay at 9.

This ^ is almost exactly how dd describes her feelings, the only difference is that she does know what a lesbian is, over and over again she says she is different, even though she can't fully explain why. It's really upsetting that she is automatically seeing 'different' as 'bad' just now, but she is getting there slowly.

Pendeen I am fully aware that she is 9 and only a child, what is the magical age that I should start taking her feelings seriously? If you read my posts I haven't 'labelled' her as anything, I am just trying to support my dd with how she feels now would you really ignore a 9 year old child emotionally struggling with something until they reach an age where you decide they can be taken seriously. And I fully agree with what Empress and Lilka said too.

Daykin I am so sorry your Mum treated you like that, my Mother did the same throughout my childhood, and you're right, it does suck, I hope things are a bit better for you now Flowers

OP posts:
dementedma · 14/02/2014 11:59

At 9? Wow!
Sounds like you are doing a good job though and your ds sounds awesome. Good luck

shakinstevenslovechild · 14/02/2014 18:29

Thanks demented I keep thinking '9 - wow' myself Grin but it seems that it's very common for people to feel this way at 9 and younger, maybe just not so common for it to be spoken about.

My ds is utterly awesome, he bought dd a chocolate heart today because he knew most of her friends would have cards and whatnot (and then called her a poo face when he handed it to her Grin ) he knows she is going through a tough time right now and is being supportive in his own little ways.

OP posts:
Cinnamon2013 · 14/02/2014 18:37

What a lovely family it sounds like you have. You must be doing a lot right

EmpressOfTheWellOfLostPlots · 14/02/2014 18:40

Your ds is fabulous.

And maybe if I'd had you and him and that school behind me I wouldn't have gone back in the closet. And maybe my dad would have come round earlier. Mum tried to be supportive but she couldn't really handle it then either (and it was very much the time of Section 28).

I think what I'm saying is, keep doing what you're doing. Can you tell her you think he's probably scared and confused and that if he can see she's happy and that she's still herself, he should start getting used to it but she might have to be patient with him?

shakinstevenslovechild · 14/02/2014 20:18

Thank you cinnamon Flowers

And thank you again Empress your advice, and experiences have been invaluable to me, I am so grateful that you, and others, have taken the time to help me try and understand how my dd is feeling, I genuinely don't think we would be where we are now without the help I have had on here.

She is writing a letter to dh just now to try and help him understand how she feels Sad I have no idea where she is finding the strength to help her dad come to terms with this on top of everything else she is going through just now.

OP posts:
EmpressOfTheWellOfLostPlots · 14/02/2014 20:29

I'm really glad I can help. I'm hoping it might be easier for her if she understands that he's the one with the problem not her? I know that's a lot to grasp for a 9 year old but she sounds very mature.

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