under what circumstances can the father get "custody"?

[irestmycase]

I know custody isn't the right word, but I can't think what is.

Just had arguement with the ex and he is threatening to take me to court (this is UK) to get custody of DD. I hope it's just an empty threat, but in case it isn't, what could happen?

Oh yes I am sure that a New York attorneys office is just the thing to help with a UK family court case!

My daughter's ex husband picked up their children for his scheduled and will not return them back to her because she has moved an hour away, from Worthing to Croydon. He had now filed an emergency order for full custody even thought the children are with her the majority of the time, he has them twice a week, her five times a week. Her ex also had an affair and left my daughter when she was pregnant with their second child and he had a baby with mistress and is living with her. Does he have a chance of winning full custody. My daughter has been driving everyday after to work to pick up her kids but he won't release them to her.

You would have been better off starting your own thread rather than resurrecting an old one.

It is not called custody. It is called residence.

The fact your daughter's ex had an affair is not relevant.

Your daughter needs proper legal advice. However, if his only argument for getting full residence is that your daughter has moved his chances of success are small. If there is an existing order in place covering the arrangements you outline he is clearly in breach of that order which won't help him in court.

Hi,

I'm just wondering how this turned out and after a bit of advice too.

I recently separated from my daughters x2 father. We split on the grounds we had fallen out of love and we could still be amicable... how wrong that was. Ex gave me 3 days to find elsewhere to live. I trailed estate agents with my 2 baby girls looking. Ashamed at this point to tell family and friends so feeling a bit worried. Anyway, to cut a long story short after returned home from work the next evening I hear ex on the phone telling his friends how he plans to take the children away. How I was a miserable cow and he has told his family to tell me to f off. Understandably I was upset. I put my youngest daughter to bed and decided to tell my parents as I knew now I had to leave. My parents lived a walk away.
After telling my parents they thought it was best if I slept on it and returned in the morning to collect my things and the children as it wasn't appropriate to wake the baby up the evening I went to tell them.
So the next day I returned to grab a few belongings and my children and some clothes for us.
we returned to my parents where we lived for a month or so.
During this time ex repeatedly told me he was going to go 100% for the girls. I was so shocked and upset by this as nothing had actually happened for us to split other than lost love.
He paid no money towards the girls in 3 weeks and said he didn't need to as he had everything they required at his home.
With the help of my parents we found a house to rent. Ex has the girls 3 nights a week. I tried to make changes but he would never agree and turn up at my house anyway upsetting everybody. I could see what was best for the children as I always knew their routine and needs. He worked away a lot and long days. He never really part took in any day to day care of the children.
Ex has made claims to social services that I drink to excess, I have an alcohol problem and that his standards of care are much higher and they should reside with him.
Social services came to assess me and the children and have written a report to conclude there is no concerns and allegations of alcohol abuse is unfounded.
However, they told me that ex has written up spreadsheets whilst we were together of everytime I had a drink or two. (Which I did on occasions but once the children had gone to bed and I wanted time to relax in front of the TV) never excessively drunk. He also claims he has cctv!?!
He says that even after we split I still drink to excess? How he would even know if I had is beyond me but still not true.
Social services advised me he in their words "bombarded" them with emails every single day and had to be warned to stop as it is a private matter. He has also told lies about how I have been put at fault for a bruise on my daughters leg which he says social services and nursery put me at fault for. I have statements from both to say that is not true and neither parties have accused me of such doing.
He has applied for a residence order stating all the above. Simply so he doesn't have to give me money towards them I believe. Can someone really drag someone through this based on lies? I am shocked and shaken it has come to this. I just wanted a manageable contact arrangements on what is best for the children because as it stands it's quite disruptive to the funder mental requirements of their welfare with them both being under 4. He has them 1 evening through the week bring them back very early next morning. Let's them sleep in his bed. They have breakfast if any in bed not at the table as my eldest tells me. Then of a Friday they are collected around 5 and brought back very early sat morning. With every alternative weekend. He refuses to bring them back Sunday so I can without them for 4 days every other weekend. He doesn't communicate at all. Ignores texts phone calls and doesn't return them.
So basically I just wanted advice on a court hearing based on lies. I'm not saying I've never had a drink. I enjoy a glass of wine and mummy time but I feel like he's convicted me of a crime by doing this. My children are very happy very healthy and extremely well cared for.
I am self representing in court also as I just want to do what's best for the children I could throw mud at ex but I don't want to as it's about the children not us. I feel emotionally abused and controlled by this man. I have even logged a complaint to the police as he was sending texts about knowing when I'm due to be off work and knowing I've been at my mother's address and even admitting to social services he has sat outside my property calling the police claiming I may have been drinking when asked if he knew for sure he replied "I can't see through walls" this is all logged in social services report.
I hope someone can give me advice as I feel he has gone slightly mentally unstable in his behaviour.

Ps sorry it's long

Hi wonder if anyone on here can help me or send me in right direction my daughter's ex boyfriend has a child arrangement order for my grandson from the courts now the issue we got us we went court and a court order was made that she see her son every two weeks and then in summer holiday he was to come and spend time and sleep over at her flat he won't let this happen he often messages her arging then stating she ain't seeing her son anyway we went back. To court because when she finally did see her son he had unexplained bruises on his face arms he had dog hairs all over his clothes looked a right tramp and told us things that happen in house and he says he don't want to live there he wants to come live with my daughter his mum other month we got a message saying he can't walk on his foot we had numerous different stories to how this happened he left it two days before getting it checked and this was only a it to stop my daughter having her normal contact my daughter ignored his request to not come down staating he was taking my grandson to a n e but daughter went down and met them at the hospital his foot was still quite badly swollen even after two days they exrayed it lucky he only bruised it but they put a hole in his big toe to stop it falling off they said the question I want to know because he only five years old and we are going back to court she has applied for full custody the ex has decided to let my grandson come down for bit I think this is because we going back to court for breach of court order and custody we want to know can we keep my grandson down here till we go court for safe guarding him or will the police arrest my daughter and return her son back to him sorry this is an essay but really need to know if we can keep him till we go back to court

The court will ask her what she wants at nine. They asked my son what he wanted and he was only 5.
He said he wanted to live with me as his father was a violent bully.

Thanks do you think she would be better going to court and asking for a emergency residence order just till they go back to court in August or just keep him when he comes down and say to ex it will be dealt with when we go court

Kerrie start a new thread. People won't answer on this one.

Just curious, is the starting point for contact not 50/50?
I live in Australia so that's what they start with here and it's the preferred outcome (not the most common I may say).

Where and how do you make a fresh thread please

At the top, under Topic >> Legal matters you should see the word 'Start' - click there. (this is for if you are on a PC)

On a phone: again, at the top, next to Topic >> Legal matters, on the right, there is a little down arrow in a circle - click that and you get an option to start a new thread

I'm struggling at moment for answers my now x husband was arrested for child porn and I left him that day with our kids he has since been charged with it and put on the sex register for 10 years he dosnt see the kids as he moved away but he is refusing to change the kids surnames as I need to protect my kids what do i do

Joanne - you need to make your own thread. You won't get any answers from posting your questions on someone else's thread. Go to the top- legal matters - back arrow (on phone) start a thread. - copy and paste your issue. Lots of very good advice available from a whole pile of family lawyers. !

Was hoping someone could help. A year ago my ex was being investigated by social services and the police as a neighnour called to complain that he was in the house with 2 young girls one being my 4 year old. He said the girls took his shorts off. My daughter also told this to the police and that he hit her but the authorities done nothing about it. Had to change lawyers due to my last lawyer knowing my exs mother who is an ex justice of the peace at the court we are at. His aunt also has some connections with social services. Despite everything that has gone on he got contact again really easily and a lot of it but now hes wanting more. Can anyone give some advice.

Start a new thread

Hi there I was wondering if you could advise me, my children 5-8 live with me I pay all the bills and work around there school hours, my ex has children Wednesdays and alternative weekends we recently had a falling out and he's now saying he wants them every Monday and Wednesday over night as well as alternative weekends, he's telling courts his mum can have them as he works full time, I am so worried if he has them that amount of time there only have me in there life 50 % of the time, there young and have a routine im so worried I cant eat or sleep.

Please help I am 19 weeks pregnant with my first child. The father and I are together but I want to leave him. He has been abusive physically and mentally in the past, but I have lied about my injuries to everyone. A few weeks ago I had a huge bleed due to him attacking me and when I told him I was going to hospital he stayed out with his friends got drunk, stayed out all night taking drugs. Now I told him I want out I'm getting rid of the house. He says I'm screwing him over and he will get full custody of the baby when it's born. He will use my mental health against me. He has other kids he has no contact with and social services were involved I don't know why. I'm really scared now and don't know what to do

Scared I would suggest you start your own thread over in relationships to get help and support in leaving him.
By leaving him you will be protecting your baby from him, he already had no contact with previous children and there is s very good reason for that.
Speak to your midwife they are likely to be able to help you and your baby to be safe.

I am so scared. My 13 week old DDs father has applied for full custody of her, and we have our initial hearing in 4 days! I’m not eligible for legal aid and can’t afford a lawyer, so will have to represent myself? Social Services are involved and my dd is going to be placed under child protection. It’s all my fault. I have had problems with alcohol and have mental health problems (BPD) as well as PND. But in my defence, I have been actively engaging with an alcohol support group for 2 months, I have been to the GP numerous times and have been prescribed meds for my mental health. I’ve been to see a psychiatrist and am currently undergoing counselling sessions. Basically, I’m doing everything I can possibly do to make things right and get myself better to be able to look after my dd and give her all the love and support she needs. DD has temporarily been removed from my care by SS and has been living with her grandparents (Dads side) which is 2hrs away from where I live! SS think I pose a risk and potential harm to my dd because of history of alcohol misuse and mental health (they’re failing to realise and understand that I’m doing everything I can and more to get better, and keep using my past against me!) Anyway, the father has applied for custody on the grounds of alcohol misuse, history of mental health and PND! I’m so worried! How likely is it that he will be granted full custody? He’s 21 and a private in the army, although it’s recently came to light that he’s being allocated a house through the army and has been granted 9months paternity leave?! (To go in his favour for the custody battle) Oh, and he’s declined mediation on grounds of domestic violence, claiming that I’ve been previously arrested for DV... this is a false allegation! We had arrangements for our daughter before SS got involved. He was having our dd (at his parents) every other weekend, and was seeing her basically whenever he wanted through the week as I have always been lenient and flexible with him. But now, he’s refusing to cooperate with me. He’s manipulative and controlling and has been mentally abusing me for the past year. We had been getting on really well until I found out that he was seeing another girl and so I told her and this made him angry. He applied for custody a few days after that. I’m not denying that he loves our dd, but I can’t help but feel that he’s using her as a weapon to hurt me because I exposed his affair? I’m so worried that he will be granted full custody because of my history, even though I am trying so hard to get better! I’ve also only had one night of drinking alcohol (no kids were in my care!) in the past 5 weeks. Please help

Start a new thread. This one began over 8 years ago

Cut and paste the text you have written.
Scroll to the top of this page and click on the link on the left side “Start a new thread in this topic”.
Paste in your text and press “Post”

Hi I'm new to this lol my daughter is 8 years old her dad took her off me when she was born in 2011 but in 2013 i won in court to get her back, she been living with me ever since, the family court gived me the restendy oder where she lives with me full time,and for me to sort contact it's been fine since now, he his wanting our daughter full time and keeps telling her that she can live with him, he's on about taking me back to court to change the restendy was wondering if he would able too or not, as she does live with me and her step dad and her 2 younger brothers and younger sister

Start a new thread, this one is ancient.