Gifted deposit problem - elderly parents and lack of ID.

[Tusktusk]

My elderly parents have very kindly gifted me a sum of money to help with my house deposit. Relevant context - my father has dementia. He knows who I am and absolutely wanted to give me this money. My mother is fine and is the one in charge of everything, including finances. They both wanted to give me this money. They discussed it in front of me (my father can hold onto a conversation in the moment but will have forgotten it within a few minutes). They are in their mid eighties. They have transferred the money to me from their joint bank account.

My conveyencing solicitor needs to verify their identities. My father has no passport and no driving license. My solicitor is asking for an ID1 form instead. I just don’t want to put my father through the hassle and stress of having a verification appointment, where everything will need to be explained to him again and again and I know he will find it super stressful.

What can I do?

All I can think of is not using the money and reapplying for my mortgage with a smaller deposit.

Or getting him a passport? Which could take weeks.

Or what?

Just to add a further thought: is there a risk that any funds transferred to you now could constitute a deprivation of assets if your father is likely to need care in the coming years? If there’s already ample provision to pay for the care (irrespective of the amount they want to give to you) then that may be fine. But if not, it may be worth seeking legal advice.

To be clear I am not suggesting that there is any moral problem. The issue is that, as I understand it, when gifted money is used as a part of a house deposit, the law says that the provenance of the money must be declared and proved and part of this is to confirm the identity of the donors.

Confirm the identify and have them fill out some forms but would be rare to speak in person and actually interview them. A lot of solicitors operate almost entirely online these days. Sometimes they might want a call. But I imagine that would be ok from what the poster says about holding a conversation

Can you switch around the costs a bit as well.

So they don't gift you a deposit but do help you with the conveyancing fee or removals cost or replenish your emergency fund l, but some furniture etc (with your mum paying the invoices directly).

Meaning you can sink more of your own funds into the deposit.

Does your father not have any utility bills in his name, or bank statements? I work in a related field and we will accept 3 separate proof of addresses in place of a photo ID. A bus pass wouldn’t be accepted though.

How about one of those citizens cards you can get in order to vote? Maybe easier to obtain

i said, not an expert but @Nottodaythankyou123 seems to be.

i was going to say the same. Lovely when posters with knowledge take so much time to explain things .

AML rules are ridiculous. The unintended consequences to ordinary people who want to spend their own money.
Presumably your organised criminals have ways round it and are only slightly inconvenienced.
Sorry not helpful, I just sympathise

Yes I meant to say yesterday how helpful and lovely @Nottodaythankyou123 was. Actually everyone on the thread has been. But that particular poster seems to be an expert and gave some great advice. I’m feeling pretty stressed at the moment with one thing and another and the kindness of strangers on mumsnet has been really heartwarming.

Absolutely. I understand why the rules are there but they affect ordinary folk trying to just move forward with their lives far more than they must actually stop any money laundering. Of course the criminals know how to get round it all. I, however, do not. And I am certainly not a criminal.

I’m glad it was helpful, and I’m sorry you’re finding it all so stressful!

I know a PP has referred to online conveyancers who may not undertake the same level as due diligence, and certainly I can think of a few who would wave it through - tempting as it may be, I would caution against that. I personally would hesitate to trust anyone with the biggest purchase you’ll make if they’ll cut corners from the very off. It suggests for whatever reason they’re not massively thorough, which is not exactly an ideal quality for your solicitor/conveyancer!

Maybe speak to them, explain the situation, see what they say, but ultimately be prepared to go down the alternative mortgage route if it ends u being easier and less stressful. Good luck!