AIBU to ask if I could contest my mother’s will?

[impossibletocontest]

Is it always impossible to contest a will in England.
I’ve been told I will not be inheriting and that my brother will be the sole beneficiary. He has a good very well paid job as does his wife, own their own home and are comfortable. Dm has a large estate so he will inherit a large amount.

I live in HA accommodation, with one child (disabled and SEN) plus I have a physical disability which is progressive and I can only work PT so reliant on UC top ups and will probably end up totally reliant when health deteriorates further.

I know England is difficult with this issue is there any chance a court would look at the situation and see that it’s fair to award me something?

ive been told that I won’t even be able to get a caveat before probate as they won’t tell me immediately on the death of dm so the assets will already have been given ? They are very low contact with me so I think they’ll absolutely do this. Is there anything now I can do or do I have to just accept that I will always struggle and my brother gets everything. As a child I was my DM carer as she had alcohol and MH issues so I feel really really used and cast aside.
She is 84 now and in poor health and the only contact I get is her telling me how I won’t get anything from her .

I am not a practising solicitor and it’s unwise to take legal advice from non lawyers
The inheritance act 1975? does allow adult kids to make an application I think. The case is Challinor re a Downs Syndrome adult child. This is separate from establishing financial dependency. Public policy re removing dependency on state is in your favour but you would not have benefit of a shielding trust eg vulnerable persons trusf to protect assets from benefits loss unless court can also order that.

Your childhood sounds really difficult. And I sympathise with you on that. But you have no automatic right to her money or estate, especially if she leaves a will stating everything is to be left to your brother. Unfair? Probably. But nobody has a “right” to inherit from a parent.

Is there a possibility that she’s just saying that because she’s annoyed/upset with you about something?

In her later years, admittedly with mild to moderate Alzheimer’s, my mother angrily said more than once that she was cutting me out of her will.

In fact she did no such thing.

From what I can understand, it's your Mum and brother who are low contact with you OP? Rather than you choosing to go low contact with them. I don't know the law in this area but you have to have grounds to contest a Will. You can't simply contest a Will because you cared for your Mum as a child, and lost your childhood, even if you could prove it. If you think your Mum doesn't have capacity or your brother has unduly influenced her, or you are a dependent then they are grounds, but they still have to be proven.

My personal opinion is that I don't think you'll get anywhere to be honest. You'd be wasting your money. Your only choice would be to try and build bridges with your Mum and brother, but there's no guarantees. Otherwise, it's a case of accepting and making peace with the fact you won't receive an inheritance.

Get legal advice. And sometimes depends on where you live ? In Scotland you certainly can inherit.
In the UK you may be expected to be provided for to an extent.
Legal advice is what you need. Not Google, not mumsnet. Explain your situation. A lot of advice from solicitors is free from the first half hour. They will have come across people who cannot afford to pay before.
Get a good one though. The law society website lists those in your area that will be accredited to handle Wills and challenges to them.

It is well known that claims under the Inheritance Act can be brought by disabled adult children – we frequently act for children in those circumstances, and have been very successful at obtaining funding from estates to pay for various types of therapy, additional care, days out and accommodation, for example, which can vastly improve someone’s quality of life.
Challinor v Challinor is a 2009 High Court decision concerning the provision that was to be made for a disabled adult from the estate of her late father. Elisabeth Challinor was an adult child from her father’s first marriage. She suffered from Downs syndrome and had lived at a residential home since 1991, the cost of which was largely met by social benefits and local authority top-up. The remainder of her every day expenses (including furniture, clothes, trips etc.) were paid for by the deceased and other family members.
The deceased separated from Elisabeth’s mother before marrying Sylvia Challinor. In 1991 he made a will, which left his entire estate to Mrs Challinor and appointed her as sole executor.
In 1994, the deceased made limited financial provision for his daughter by establishing a fund of £10,000 in national savings certificates (worth £15,000 in 2009 when the case was heard). He took the view that any unforeseen future requirements of Elisabeth would be paid for from his assets – either by him whilst his was alive, or his second wife after his death. He did not change his will, but considered it a matter of moral obligation.
Because Mr Challinor did not alter his 1991 will before he died in 2006, Mrs Challinor stood to inherit his whole estate. Elisabeth’s sister, who was very concerned by this, started proceedings on behalf of Elisabeth, under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975 seeking an order for money from the estate for Elisabeth to fund day-to-day living expenses, possible future accommodation costs and medical care for the remainder of her life.
At the date of his death, the deceased’s net estate was worth just over £55,000. However, there was also jointly held property worth £530,000, of which half represented the deceased’s share. The deceased’s share was brought back into his estate. Elisabeth asked for the sum of £275,000 to be held on trust for her, on the basis that she may live for a further 20 years, (although it was unlikely that her life expectancy would exceed 10 years).
Under the Inheritance Act, the judge had to determine whether or not reasonable financial provision had been made for Elisabeth under the terms of her father’s will. When reaching his decision in this case, the judge appeared to focus on two points in particular:
(1) .The assessment of the “financial needs that the applicant is likely to have in the foreseeable future” was not restricted to considering only those needs which it was more likely than not that Elisabeth would have. The judge said that he could and should take into account any needs that she was reasonably likely to have (but not those which were remote or merely speculative). This could include a general provision for emergencies.
(2) The continuing moral obligations of the beneficiaries of an estate. The judge said that he had no doubt that “recognition by the beneficiary or beneficiaries of an estate of a continuing moral obligation passing to them, and the ability and willingness to satisfy it, would be relevant matters for the Court to consider under subsection (g)”. However in this case, Mrs Challinor appeared reluctant to provide for Elisabeth’s future needs, and indicated that she needed all of the available assets for herself, so the Judge did not believe that it would be sufficient to rely on the moral obligation of Mrs Challinor to care for Elisabeth.
The judge considered that the provision made for Elisabeth under the terms of her late father’s will did not sufficiently provide for her needs beyond what would reasonably be provided by the State during her lifetime. He therefore made an order for provision from the estate of £85,000 on the terms of a discretionary trust, in addition to the £15,000 already provided by the deceased in savings certificates.

Could you persuade your brother to carry out a deed of variation after her death--directing some of the proceeds of the estate to you. This wouldn't need her permission. We have done this several times when parents have died and left us money we felt might be more useful for our own children. Obviously a different case as we were delighted to do this, but it's actually quite straightforward if your brother would see reason here. That sounds as if it might be very difficult.

Is there a chance brother has told her lies about you so her decision to exclude is based on wrong information? There was a successful case on fraudulent calumny recently. The categories of people who can challenge a will are quite narrow as pp have said just being an adult child isn’t enough.

Why does your Mother dislike you and your child to this degree?

Thats true.

I think you need to accept you won't be left anything. It will be better than hoping for it to save you.

You could even say to them when they phone you that you have no grounds to contest her will and you aren't sure why they keep ringing you to tell you stuff you already know.

At the moment they enjoy upsetting you. Take that away from them by not caring.

MN is a funny place. I started a thread recently about am older relative I have never met who suddenly wants me to write to her and I've had endless replies from people telling me that I should get in contact incase this complete stranger may want to leave something in my will.

However, this poor op who has her childhood controlled and shaped for the worse by her mother's mental health issues is being made to feel bad because she would like some kind of compensation from the damages this has caused and feels disappointed she most probably won't be included in her mother's estate.

Op, I would be unhappy too, your mother should acknowledge the fact you helped her whilst you were a child. She has rebuilt her life for the better, it seems and has failed to see the damage she caused you, of course you'd want some compensation for that. As someone who is currently caring for a parent and has put the last 6+ years of my life on hold (financially, mentally and emotionally) I understand how you feel.

I hope things work out for you in the end, you deserve something even if that means your db recognising this and offering you something from his inheritance when the time comes.

Oh I don’t know. It sounds like you had a rotten childhood and university was a way of distancing yourself from this. You stayed away for 20 years and sadly life didn’t work out as you hoped so now she’s elderly you’re wanting a slice of the pie.

In the nicest way, bridges could have been rebuilt during the last 20 years. I think it’s too late to feel like you’re owed inheritance I’m afraid. I hope you get help to deal with the issues and come to terms with it.

So it’s certainly worth consulting a law firm. It would be better for your mum and brother to come to an agreement with you whilst she is alive and drawn up a vulnerable persons trust ( if you are in middle pip)

its worth looking at which lawyers are prominent in this area and talking to them

She lost control when the OP went to university.

She thinks I abandoned her when I left home. In regards to why she dislikes my child I don’t know she just never acknowledged him and when I once asked if she wanted to meet him she said ‘never - I won’t be associated with that’ (he has learning disabilities and CP)

That sounds malicious. Go on the other site as suggested earlier.

Unfortunately OP you've hit the nail on the head. The law deals with what is legal - not necessarily moral. You can put in a caveat which will delay the dispersal of the estate to the beneficiaries which may cause them to pay you something to get you to remove it, but this isn't contesting the will.

As others have said before, unless you have reason to believe that her will was coerced or she was not of sound mind when writing it, or you're currently financially dependent on your mother, you have no grounds to contest. It will just be an expensive waste of time.

I'm sorry that your past was so traumatic. It's good that you were able to work through it and get yourself to university despite the horrible circumstances you grew up in.

I echo what other people have suggested - counselling to help you deal with the trauma of your difficult past. If your brother and mother are so cruel as to purposefully keep her health information secret then I would put them to the back of your mind and focus on your own life. It may help you feel more in control.

If it’s any consolation at all when she looks into your face, she reminds herself of what an absolute useless piece of shit she was and that’s the problem here
We have exactly the same scenario in our family
I hold her to account and they really don’t like that

It will cost many thousands of pounds to contest a will. The chances of a successful outcome, if your DM was of sound mind when she made the will are slim.

Please look at case law regarding disabled adult kids and the Inheritance Act 1975. It was never my ‘area’ but it’s worth discussing with someone whose area it is.

Judges also love nothing better than saving the State some money by making a judgment that removes benefits or dependency on the State.

Are you a qualified probate lawyer to make that assertion?

Do you think your brother would do the right thing and give you or your child some of his inheritance?

Her possessions are hers to give as she deems fit and if she does not want to give you anything then you get nothing.

Sadly she does not owe you anything and her decision to give it to your brother who you say is already well off does not matter.

You cannot contest her will except you can prove she is not of sound mind as at the time of writing her will.

There is no legal aid but there might be some charities that will help fund or a law firm may take it on on a no win no fee basis.

Some solicitors give 30 minutes free advice