AIBU to ask if I could contest my mother’s will?

[impossibletocontest]

Is it always impossible to contest a will in England.
I’ve been told I will not be inheriting and that my brother will be the sole beneficiary. He has a good very well paid job as does his wife, own their own home and are comfortable. Dm has a large estate so he will inherit a large amount.

I live in HA accommodation, with one child (disabled and SEN) plus I have a physical disability which is progressive and I can only work PT so reliant on UC top ups and will probably end up totally reliant when health deteriorates further.

I know England is difficult with this issue is there any chance a court would look at the situation and see that it’s fair to award me something?

ive been told that I won’t even be able to get a caveat before probate as they won’t tell me immediately on the death of dm so the assets will already have been given ? They are very low contact with me so I think they’ll absolutely do this. Is there anything now I can do or do I have to just accept that I will always struggle and my brother gets everything. As a child I was my DM carer as she had alcohol and MH issues so I feel really really used and cast aside.
She is 84 now and in poor health and the only contact I get is her telling me how I won’t get anything from her .

The other thing to consider is that your mum might need nursing home care - you said she is in frail health right now. She could easily live another few years and nursing home fees will use up a lot of her current wealth. There might be nothing left to fight over.

This isn’t enough. You would have to be able to prove that you were already dependent on her or that she lacks capacity to make the decision I believe.

Because I gave up my whole childhood to be her carer , I had to look after my brother and I was always exhausted as she would get panicky at nights and wake me to help her and sit with her. It was awful. There’s so much money in her estate too and I’m stuck relying on benefits and I don’t even know how much longer I’ll be able to work .

This won’t have any bearing on the inheritance. You’d need to prove she wasn’t of sound mind when she made that decision. She can leave her inheritance to whoever she wants.

If anything she was dependent on me when I was a child. My only need now is money to 1) meet our needs and not have to rely on benefits forever

This sounds frustrating OP - have you had any counselling or therapy to try and move forward from what sounds like quite a traumatic childhood?

Do you want any sort of relationship with either of them, who initiates the conversations. If all she does is call to tell you that you're not getting a penny then I'd not bother trying anymore. What sort of family don't even tell you that your mum has died, they both sound pretty vile.

In England you can generally leave your money to whoever you choose, unlike in Scotland where I believe you cant cut out a child.

She doesnt want you to have her money, she is of sound mind, she is not being coerced, you have little to no relationship with her and are not dependant on her already.

Im not sure you have much of a case tbh.

This is what I thought unfortunately

Mostly they’ll call to say she ‘was’ in hospital recently and remind me that they don’t tell me in real time in case she passes so that the inheritance can be dealt with before I can contest.

What would you even want her money!? I would want nothing from any of them tbh!

From what you’ve posted, you won’t have a hope in hell of being successful.

But when the time comes, do make sure there was a will, if there wasn’t then intestacy applies.

Hi OP, I am in this situation too, except with my father. Like you, he blames me for abandoning the family and my sibling became the golden child
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If you can prove you were financially dependent on your mother before she passed then you have a chance of a claim. Worth speaking to a probate contesting solicitor about this with a free 30 min consultation.

It's very sad but you can't force your mum to leave you any money.
I agree with the pp who suggested counselling to manage your feelings around the childhood trauma you experienced, and then maybe you can move on. If mum was mentally very unwell, she might not even remember the role you played in caring for her when you were little.

Talk to your brother, if he agrees you can vary the will after she dies so you get share. If he doesn't agree then you can't. There are rules about disabled children being provided for, but I have no idea if you would fall into that category, talk to a lawyer.

Or you could try making up with your mum, how did you fall out?

It’s because I’m scared of what my future holds and wanting to make sure my child is provided for.

When I left for uni she went absolutely mad. Said I was abandoning her she had such a MH crisis she was in hospital for a few weeks I think my db was angry with me about that. I was her carer from 6-18.

Because standing by principles doesn't feed a person or pay the bills.

That’s not a ground of challenge.

Wow, your family sound absolutely vile and I'm very sorry. No, I don't think you can contest the will on those grounds. If I was you I would cut them both out your life and focus on yourself and your child. Your family sound like a lost cause and are not ever going to bring anything positive to your life

She was alcoholic with MH issues (I suspect a personality disorder but also it went badly wrong after she had db so probably PND too?) she may not remember but I do. Being screamed at if I got her the wrong drink (she told me it was ‘medicine’ I didn’t realise till I was about 9 that it wasn’t). Not letting me sleep as she was having paranoid attacks etc and I was having to try and do things like give db breakfast before I went to school (thank god we lived 6 doors up from the school) it was hell.

They are spiteful, it's all about control, they have no clue about wills, probate and inheritance, it all sounds a load of nonsense. I wouldn't bother with any of them, I'd they so decide to call you when she does eventually die I'd just say thank you for letting me know. Like ppl says she may end up in a carehome anyway.

@impossibletocontest YABVU.

You haven't spoken to the woman for 20 years so can't expect anything.

Being ofblow financial means isn't a reason to contest a will.

I’ve had therapy. At one point I was misdiagnosed with FND they said as a direct result of trauma but it actually turned out to be MS

I’m sorry but I’d love to hear your mother’s story.