AIBU to ask if I could contest my mother’s will?

[impossibletocontest]

Is it always impossible to contest a will in England.
I’ve been told I will not be inheriting and that my brother will be the sole beneficiary. He has a good very well paid job as does his wife, own their own home and are comfortable. Dm has a large estate so he will inherit a large amount.

I live in HA accommodation, with one child (disabled and SEN) plus I have a physical disability which is progressive and I can only work PT so reliant on UC top ups and will probably end up totally reliant when health deteriorates further.

I know England is difficult with this issue is there any chance a court would look at the situation and see that it’s fair to award me something?

ive been told that I won’t even be able to get a caveat before probate as they won’t tell me immediately on the death of dm so the assets will already have been given ? They are very low contact with me so I think they’ll absolutely do this. Is there anything now I can do or do I have to just accept that I will always struggle and my brother gets everything. As a child I was my DM carer as she had alcohol and MH issues so I feel really really used and cast aside.
She is 84 now and in poor health and the only contact I get is her telling me how I won’t get anything from her .

You haven't spoken to the woman for 20 years so can't expect anything.

She is probably hoping for some recognition of the childhood she gave up & not to feel abandoned again.

@impossibletocontest this is the wrong board for your question as pps have said.

Im sorry for what you went through in childhood. Thats an awful thing for a child to have to endure. I know it must seem very unfair and cruel now that your mum contacts you only to tell you that she wont leave you anything.

She sounds horrible and emotionally abusive and I am sorry you spent your childhood looking after a drunk parent.

Gently..as awful as this sounds you arent likely to be entitled to a share of the estate if your Mum is of sound mind and hasnt been coerced when she wrote her will. That must seem incredibly unfair and hurtful but sadly the law doesnt force your mum to make provision for you in her will.

Move on OP and leave this all behind. You can’t contest based on what you have said and you would need to spend money on solicitors which would be very costly.

I will request to move it to legal

There we go….

OP, you have no entitlement whatsoever to your DM’s estate. You have been low contact with her for twenty years; she’s never seen your DC; she is (by your own admission) of sound mind, and she chooses to leave her estate to your brother. On what possible grounds would you contest the will? You don’t inherit just because, in your mind, you “deserve” it. I’m sorry you’re dependent on benefits, but that has absolutely NO bearing on how your DM disposes of her money. It’s your DM’s money to dispose of, and if she doesn’t choose to leave you anything, she is entitled to do so. I don’t actually entirely understand why you think you should be in line for an inheritance, when your DM has made her position very clear, and when it’s her money to leave as she sees fit.

Get proper legal advice if you can. Broadly my understanding is that if you can’t show financial dependency, you wouldn’t ordinarily. However, I’ve seen cases in the news in recent years that suggest that, where a person’s child is dependent on state welfare (including social housing), judges have awarded them portions of the estate they have been excluded from.

As advised, you can’t contest a will because you are poor. It sounds more like it would benefit you to deal with your feelings of being mistreated to move forward. What is unwell with nerves?

Your childhood sounds very hard but you need to get counselling and move on as you can’t hold onto that as a reason you should get her money when she dies if she doesn’t leave it to you. Your fears about your financial situation and your child need to be addressed without reference to an inheritance you are unlikely to get.

Recent cases show the courts are becoming more sympathetic to estranged adult children making claims against their parents’ estates, especially if the child is receiving state support. If you don’t think your brother will give you anything and are prepared to destroy that relationship, I would contact a decent solicitor soon after your mother’s death and discuss your options.

You haven’t seen her in 20 years why do you think you are “owed” anything. Your health issues and that of your child whilst unfortunate are your own problems not hers

She uses to say she ‘suffered with her nerves’ she would get intense paranoia and think people or objects were after her we would have to sit in the night for hours with me reassuring her because she thought she was getting pricked with needles coming up from the floor and was crying and shaky. She said that was ‘her nerves’

You say that but she’s had pretty accurate and consistent advice here. She’s not offered anything that sounds like grounds for challenge.

I think you need legal advice.

From my non-legal understanding and what you describe, I cannot see any grounds.

I do understand that there probably aren’t legal grounds I guess sometimes what is legal is occasionally the total opposite to what is moral.

If you expect to hear both sides of the story, Mumsnet isn't for you. Unless you are just saying this to imply that you don't believe OP's version of events. What are you sorry about? Kicking a very vulnerable OP when she is down?

Im sorry - sounds rough. I’m assuming you all live in England? Maybe it’s all nasty talk and she hasn’t even made a will. If she dies intestate you would have a claim. Otherwise you’d need to see a lawyer but it sounds unlikely.

I ask because in Scotland although you can leave your house or land to anyone and that will be upheld, you can’t actually disinherit children from ‘moveable estate’ eg money / cash in bank / investments and other assets. Kids have ‘legal rights’. - or at least they used to when I last looked.

You won’t be successful contesting a Will “because it isn’t fair” you need to be able to show she’s been coerced, or that you are already financially dependant on her for example.
The only winners would be the solicitors in substantial fees, so if I was you I’d accept that you’re not going to receive a penny and forget about it.

My mother did this. She died I had all her funeral papers because she paid in advance. I found out four days after she died. Phoned the home she'd been sent to the wrong funeral directors. Phoned the right one who agreed to move her. Next thing solicitors contact me. She'd specified in her will her children were not involved in her will, weren't invited to her funeral.

Solicitor was lovely but said legally we could do nothing. He then had to contact me for her life history for a eulogy someone else was doing. What music would she like three songs.

Well I chose Frank Sinatra, My Way for one song, amused those in the know.

I've no idea what's in her will, who will inherit. We're not allowed to know. The solicitors even claimed the effects from the nursing home.

@impossibletocontest I'm sorry but I wouldn't throw good money after bad. Your mother's will is her final revenge.

My brother said we're finally free at the funeral. He was right.

I mean. It doesn’t sound like you’ve made much effort to reconcile, other than mentioning financial issues and potentially the will.. since why would anyone randomly call to say you’re not getting anything when you are low contact and everyone is still alive🤷🏼‍♀️

Your situation isn’t a reason to contest a will. I get that it feels absolutely gutting to know you won’t get anything.

Your best bet is to cut all contact, you clearly don’t get on.. and just do your best for you and your family. You’ll likely feel a weight is lifted if you just let go.

Yeah England and Scotland have different legal systems and different rules. I think the advice given so far has presumed OP is in E and W.

Edit- actually on looking again, OP says England is difficult with this issue, so sounds like they're in England.

This question comes up on the Reddit legal advice board regularly and the advice is usually that contesting a will is very expensive and it's unlikely to be successful unless you meet very specific criteria, which has already been discussed on the thread. You don't meet this so I wouldn't go down this route. Unfair as it is, I think you have to accept it.

Your mother is an utter disgrace and your brother isn't much better. You may have a moral case for receiving a share of your mum's inheritance, but unfortunately I don't think that you have legal grounds for contesting the will.

She ruined your childhood as you became her carer from the age of 6. You also tried to shield your brother from the worst of her excesses. Where was your dad in all this?

You should just block your mother from all avenues of communication as she is deliberately baiting you to be cruel.

That is your job to do provide. Inheritance is never a given so is not a banked way to provide for your own children. Why fight this? You have low contact and she has been very clear where you stand with her, don’t lower yourself, instead use the energy to fight to build a good future for you and your child.

Cutting contact isn't easy, there are the phone calls, the nasty letters. She could even try visiting. Get her friends to contact you. It's not pleasant.