14 year old left alone overnight

[MyChocolateDiet]

I'd appreciate some opinions, please - my eldest GD (14) lives with her dad, chose to 2 years ago because of her mum's volatile/drunken behaviour. The mother has gone abroad for a week, today, taken her other 2 kids (didn't invite the 14-year-old). She asked GD to feed the pregnant cat twice every day - a walk of 1.5 miles each way. She left 3 pouches of food. The cat gave birth this morning, and GD has been there all day, caring for the cat and kittens. I bought 4 x 12 pouches of food. She doesn't want to leave them alone all night, so she has offered to be with them all night. I don't agree that it's right. She isn't "street-wise", but is sensitive and caring. What do others think?

Dad needs to stay at the house with his DD.

I don’t care if you’ve both asked and she says it’s fine - leaving a 14 year old alone overnight in those circumstances is absolutely not on.

Your DD sounds lovely.
But she is 14. She does not get to make the decision to stay alone overnight. Someone should have stayed with her.

A 14yo, besotted with a cat and its new born kittens, would likely make the wrong decision should a fire break out...

Indeed. Utterly bizarre is absolutely the words to use her.

I would go with her, take an airbed for her and sleeping bags - you take the sofa, so you don't have to use their beds.

I'm not sure a 14yo gets to decline. The adults responsible for her care make that decision.

All's well that ends well I suppose, but I wouldn't have left her overnight.

Well done to your GD. Her mother sounds like an irresponsible nightmare.

I think given the circumstances, it was fine for her to be there alone. You knew where she was and both you and her Dad could have got there quickly if need be.

She sounds very responsible - these cases are very much down to the individual, I think.

Of course it’s not fine. How bloody ridiculous.

14 year old children deserve parents that are there for them. There was zero reason for the father to leave her alone overnight other than he could not be bothered. 14 year olds don't get to say ‘oh I will be ok’ and their parents simply agree because it’s easier. 14 year olds have parents who should do their absolute best for them. Clearly the mother has already let this child down but the father imo isn’t much better. I notice OP has posted this under ‘legal’ which shows they clearly know it’s dodgy as fuck.

Bear in mind 14yos can stay in Youth Hostels, do DofE etc it seems OTT to imagine that a great danger will befall them while they’re asleep. A 14yo is probably in more danger left home alone in the evening after school than between 9pm and 6.30am when mostly asleep.

Bloody hell.

No wonder so many young adults are utterly inept at dealing with anything these days.

No they can't. Anyone under 16 has to be accompanied by someone 18+

She did really well, you should be proud of her.

I mean mine grew up independent and successful but if you want to turn ‘a 14 year old deserves a parent overnight’ into me being over protective you crack right on…

Mum is an irresponsible nightmare but dad is….what exactly? He’s the one who has left her alone.

There was literally nothing stopping dad staying with his DD other than he presumably couldn’t be bothered.

I don’t know a single parent who wouldn’t have packed a duvet in the car, ordered a takeaway and gone and slept on the sofa whilst using the time as an opportunity to bond over what was a lovely experience for the DD.

Agreed !

It's not dodgy as fuck though,it's absolutely fine.

He would have been on hand if she needed him. He knew where she was and what she was doing, he stopped by to check-in. He used his judgement.

Birdsongsingingagainandagain You might well be right. Thanks, that's made me feel terrible.

For the people on here who have judged my son and me unfavourably, we both, separately, said we'd stay the night. GD didn't want us to. We both rang last night, and this morning, and someone was there this afternoon. My GD stayed only last night (and said how much she enjoyed looking after the cat & kittens. The maternal grandmother will be there tomorrow, as will I. I've suggested to GD that I take her out for lunch and to Planet Bounce or anywhere else she fancies - guess where she wants to be.....with the cat family.

I am sorry it has made you feel bad but I do think someone should have stayed . But, it has worked out ok in that she hasn’t come to any harm, which it was always highly unlikely that she would.

I do think everyone checking on her has made her feel cared for by the sounds of things as well and I don’t think there is any doubt that you really do!

Absolutely. Fuck the bed, and sleep on the bloody floor.

The cat will be fine overnight on its own. They know how to look after their own kittens and there's nothing your daughter can do. In fact the cat and kittens will prefer to have a bit of space. Your GD shouldn't be staying on her own overnight.

I guess if her dad is ok with her being there alone then it's ok? She's not going to be going anywhere is she? She can eat food in the house or order delivery. Obviously make sure she knows to call or text you if anything happens. And she has access to an Uber account or taxi number so she can leave and come to you if she needs.

He should not be offering his 14 year old the choice.

My 14yo would happily stay by herself overnight if I gave her the choice when I need to be away. But she doesn’t get a choice because she’s 14.